Sunday, December 27, 2009

:: Haircut Aries ::

Insert: Kumikyoku Lucky Star Douga (Medley from Lucky Star's songs)

Today, I went for haircut, plus makan.
SASHIMI ROCKS!!!!!!
SOFT SHELL CRAB RULEZZZZZZZ~~~~~~~

Ehem.

Anyway, let's post some pics of my new hair.
Not that sure whether this is okay or not de...
=w=


1st step, wash the hair...



Then, blow the hair...



And then, cut it...



At last, shape it...



Can't believe I can be such a "good child". LOL?

Saturday, December 26, 2009

:: Crazy Chrismast Night ::

Insert: I Gotta Feeling (by Black Eyed Peas)

LOL.
Tonight's really a good night.
It was crazy.

AND BE GRATEFUL PEOPLE.
BECAUSE THIS IS FOR MEL.
I'M ACTUALLY UPLOADING SOME PICTURES.

Lol?
Not to mention, some videos too.
Though they're all very short. XD

Who's there?
Well...
Me...
Kou...
Yuki...
Esther...
Preety...
And at last, ADAM!!!!!! XD
LOL.
He came last minute.
Because he struggle with his problems 'till the end!!!
Good job soldier!
X3

So...
We have foods tonight. (Duh!)
And...
I ACTUALLY COOKED FOR THE NIGHT!!!!!!
OMGNWTFBBQKLCCWALIUEH!!!!!
XD
I made some spaghetti, the sos for the spaghetti, and salads.
Too bad I made too much and 90% of the salads are much a waste.
TwT
But at least those bacons are edible.
Phew...
Esther said that they're nice.
Lucky me???

During the makan time...
I'm not sure what brings up the topic.
Esther starting to said that she only liked 3 animes so far.
The first one is Paradise Kiss.
The next one is Ouran High School.
And then she and Yuki screamed together in "harmony".
Which we, the rest of the people, was scared of it.
OMG...
And then she said La Corda Doro Primo Casso
And then they scream again.
This time, insert earthquake.
THEY JUMPED.
For 5 minutes, I guess???
And Preet was like "Oh my gosh!!!"
And I can't stop laughing.
It's damn hilarious!!!!!!

Then.
They found themselves.
They're the other halves of each other.
I mean...
They're just so similar!!!
First, it's their hairstyle.
Esther had that one during her school time.
And Yuki will do the same if her fringe is longer.
AND THEY HAVE THE SAME LIKINGS!!!!!!
OAo
Okay, it freaks all of us out.
VERY MUCH.
Especially when they screamed and jumped...
OMG...
~m~
Scary man...

By the way, we danced Hare Hare Yukai tonight.
And the SUPAAAAAAAAAA Mix.
Which scared everyone.
Mwahahahaha~~~
Esther had it photo-taken.
XD

Anyway,
We had truth or dares tonight.
LOL???
And it's one of the craziest.
At first it's truth or dare...
And then it became DARE OR DARE.
LOL???

We placed the dares in the black bag.
And we picked a dare inside.
What's inside...
There's a lot.
TOO LOT.
LOL.
But some are missing, I wonder why...
Like...
Act like Mr. John...
Crossdressing...
Exchange clothes with each other...
Hmm...
Wonder where they went to...
=w=

I was dared to kiss someone's leg.
And...
The leg that was the "cleanest" that time was Esther's.
-m-
I will not forget how much geli that was...
And...
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW~~~~~~

Then...
Oh, note that they're not in order.
XD

Okay, then...
We have Nikki drinking a mysterious drink.
There's a lot of stuffs inside.
Peanut butter, 100+, cola, sprite, soya bean, tomato sos, chili sos...
I think there's more.
And the worst thing is...
Nikki said that it's not bad.
And licked the remaining peanut butter off the drink.
Eww......
~m~

Watch the below...




Oh,
We have Nikki doing dirty dance on the wall.
Eww, I know.
XD

Watch below...




And the bottle loves to spin to me or Liang.
LOL???
Or rather, it loves to spin to the person who's spinning the bottle.
Weird, I know...

Didn't record much.

But there's one very interesting one.
Right before Yuki went back, we dared her.
And we chose the dare for her.
And...
It ends up...
"Kiss the person of the same sex!"
LOL???
So...
Esther and Preety have left.
Leaving only Nikki, me, Kou and Adam.
So...
Kou and Adam are out, obviously.
Leaving me and Nikki.
Which one should she chose?
"Of course you la!" - by Nikki.
Huh, why???
"My face you see also know lar!!!"
Oh, okay, fine, whatever. (LOL my act is very good eh??? XD)
So...
Should I pose like Cactuar (see here) to let you kiss??? XD
LOL, I get one hit on the head. (Obviously??? =w=)
Then...
I was kissed on the forehead.
Yeah.
That's how easy it is.
LOL?
(Dammit, why not on other parts?!?! ROAR!!!!!! WAW)
Oh, it was picture taken.
But I forgot who's phone had it.
Hmm...
Whatever.
LOL? XD


Adam promoting his milo. Supposed to be "seductively". But... =w=

Nikki having the ribbon on the "boob". XD

Nikki putting the ribbon on the crotch. LOL~

Adam act like a retard. He always do. LOL?


If you noticed, there's two people in there.
And I know that you will not know who they are.
They're...
ESTHER AND YUKI!!!!!!
OMG!!!!!

Watch below...


Basically, that's the end of the night...
I guess???
But there's another party during the New Year.
Yay~
Gonna get sommore ideas on the DARE OR DARE.
Mwahahahaha~~~~~~~

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Mel's Departure...

Insert: When You're Gone (by Avril Lavigne)

Mel had left us.
For Germany.
(No, she did not die. XD)


So...

Yeah, I will miss her.
Very much.
As much as the others would.

I'm actually quite regretful to not be able to be with her for the last day.
Yesterday, that is.
Before her departure.

Maybe I should make a song out for her, then?

Heheh, inspiration.



Anyway, I will miss her.

Very much.

But not as much as BJ did, I think.

LOL!!!!!! XDXD



Okay la, joking...

Will update again when I successfully make the song out.

^w^

Monday, December 14, 2009

Kou's Birthday...

Insert: 祝我生日快乐 (By Jay and Landy)

Suddenly, I just wanted to sing this song.
To Kou.
My most beloved friend.

It's sad that no one can celebrate his birthday today...
And I'm held on responsibility to this...
Gomen Kou-chan... _(v w v)_

He wasn't able to celebrate thanks to me.
If it wasn't of the performance,
I wouldn't need to force him to come with us.
To practice.

And if it wasn't of this,
He can celebrate with his other friends already...
Or even his lover...

Haiz...



Seriously, I'm sorry Kou...
Yurushite kure ne~
XD

:: 今日の Aries - 疲れた... ::

Insert: Sakura Biyori (by Hoshimura Mai)

Today...
Is a very tiring day...
No mee sedap...
Sad...
XD

Okay, that's a joke.
But I seriously fall in love with Mee SEDAP!!!!!!
It's not kidding, it's really SEDAP.
But you must buy the right brand.
Although I don't really know what's the brand...
But it's NEVER sotong.
NEVER.
No Takos.
It's bad.
The spices are BAD.
-w-

I'm serious.




So...
Today I arrived at Kou's at...
8 something?
And my mom INSISTED that he come down to fetch me.
Goddammit...
Can't believe she actually was afraid of him.
DUDE!!!
What is he and who is he?!
I know better than my mum.
HE WILL NEVER TOUCH GIRLS!!!!!!
XD
Only the same... *w*
Can't talk, sorry... XD



Anyways...

We chat junk there.
Instead of practicing...
And watched Okane ga Nai. X3

LOL?

Then...
Lvy came.
She was like "OMG" OAO
And INNOCENT (yes she is)
When she looked at 801 manga.
[[[Okane ga Nai]]]
LOL???
XD



Soon, it became fashion time.
Haiz.
And we wasted a lot of time commenting on the clothes.
When we decided to leave right after Kou bathed,
He suddenly decided that he would try on.
And Lvy joined him.
WTF...

Then...

I JOINED IN TOO!!! XD

Dude...
It was hectic...
And it dragged my time too...



12 something.
We FINALLY arrived at LM.
Went to McD and makan...
Man, I must be hungry.
In 5 minutes, I finished the McChicken...
Like it was just a piece of potato chip.

Ordered the apple pie too.
And it's okay.
And VERY HOT.

Near 1pm.
Went to Giant and buy the C2 Apple drink.
Man...
I'm just so addicted to this drink. XD
Or I'm addicted to apple???
?w?
Either way, that thing is really GOOD!!!!!! ^w^



Then, we went to Melody...
Going to practice our stuffs there...
Well, GOING, to.

And seriously, I HATE Yagami.
Except for his skill to make his own style of stuffs,
He basically can ruin one song.
SERIOUSLY.
=w=
And he doesn't have a real good attitude.
Bleh.
Hate it.

So...
We decided to cancel the damn band thing.
Just because of him.
But when Kou phoned to BC,
BC said that "Why cancel it?! It's a good song!!!"
Sounds like he wanted to play.

Okay then.
The band shall stay.
WITHOUT KEYBOARDIST.

Damn...
Keyboardist is such a headache... =w=
When you have a good one, it will be EXTREMELY good.
When you have a bad one, it will be EXTREMELY bad.

Haiz...



Basically, we didn't practice much about the band.
We just kept on dancing and dancing and dancing...
Until we went nuts with the dances XD

We began to add in our own stuffs...
Played with the moves...
And even dance the wrong parts!!!
@w@

Man...

Repeating one same song for hundredths of times...
IS NOT A GOOD THING.
Seriously...

You will get...
Not bored.
But MAJORLY RETARDED about the whole damn dance.

OMGNWTFBBQKLCCMLMGay...

Anyway, the whole thing is so DAMN RETARDED.

Damn!!!
Someone should really take a video of that thing...
XD



We practically danced until 5 something...
Then decided to cut off the SUPAAAA Mix...
Damn!
My blood and tears... TwT

Oh well.

But then, suddenly after dancing 100th times of Hare2.
We turned into that SUPAAAA Mix.
And suddenly...
With only 3 of us...
Meso, Kou, and I.
It turned out quite well.
Better than we were 5...
Good grief???

I wasn't sure about that then... 8w8
Anyways, we decided to dance it...
For the prom night...
With only 3 people.
Mwahaha?

Oh well...

Hope it's okay then...
But maybe I should just sing.
Mafan betul... =w=

Haiz...



After those tiring stuffs...
I need to carry my 3 big bags to Sakae Sushi.
My god...
Lucky Kou was there to help me out.

But...

GODDAMMIT!!!
IT'S RAINING FOR GODDESS SAKE!!!!
GRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

=w=



Anyway, luckily after the very tiring "trip".
I have my SUSHI!!!
Nyahahaha~
Although...
I need to share with my FAMILY.
=w=
Greh...



So...
Basically, that's the end of my day for today.
Except that I just finished from packing up...
Leaving for Kuantan.
With Yuki.
=w=

Wonder will I be bored...
(Looks away to the sky...)
Haiz...

Oh well, at least I have my new phone with me.
And I have prepared some books.
Think I can survive for 4 days...

Wait.
Phone...
I NEED MY CHARGER!!!!!! OAO

Please remember to put it in tomorrow...
=w=
And My books...



Ciao~

:: RESET Aries ::

Insert: Reset (Okami theme song)

Ahh... Reset...
How much do I want to reset all those stuffs and events that happened in my life.

For example.
The day that I dropped my phone.
If I could reset the day, I can work through the day again with new knowledge.
And try a different path.

Another example.
The weeks that I'm suppose to have training in my house.
But at the end we end up playing and fooling around.
And nothing has been done.
Which I would hope that the things can go to my way.

And another.
The month that I had SPM.
If I could reset and study hardly.
Maybe I don't even need to worry about anything now.
Although I still haven't get the results yet.

And finally...
This year.
Where most of the events that changed my life.
Though not entirely, but played a big part of it.
Teaches me how to laugh, and how to cry.
How much can a heart be ached...
How much can a person be happy...
How much, how much, one can taste everything...
If I could reset again, and understood them more...
If I could reset again, and spend more time with them...
If I could reset again, and learnt to know them more...

And if I could...
Everything will be better...

But it doesn't, and we can't reset all those that we've done.

And seriously, if I could reset my life again.
I would reconsider my decisions to the right or wrong,
But also be much more straightforward to my emotions,
If you ARE going to die either way.
Do not fear, do not think, and do not hold back.
Just do what you want.
Just be what you are.

Maybe...

My life would be better.

Even just for one year...



And if I could...
Maybe I can get whatever that I wanted.
For a very long time...

Like...
Money.
Friends.
And maybe even love...

But it's never going to happen.



17 more days...

Until next year...

Maybe, I just don't have enough time that everyone thought that I had.
No, I really don't.
They would send me overseas.
And I will be apart with everything that I cherished for.

No.

They had tore me apart with the things that I owned.

For example:
My room.
My bed.
My everything that I own in this house.

And slowly...
My life will be taken too...
Gradually...
Bits by bits...

It's not really conscious.
But I can feel it.
Something IS changing behind the eyes.

And slowly...
I might not become myself too...
And I'm kinda afraid with that.



But nevertheless.
As the day I still own this name of mine.
I shall not change.

Until the day that everyone started to call me by "Josephine",
I shall not change.
I will still be "Ace".

Or maybe just "Zero", Rei.

And no, I will not love my own name.
Thanks much...
NOT.

Uhuh.



Maybe I should stop my ramblings until here then...?

Sunday, December 13, 2009

:: TwT Aries Part 3 ::

Insert: SUPAAAAAAAAAA Mix (plenty songs blended together by ME!!! XD)

From now on. I shall officially hate the number "2". It sucks. Uhuh.

I shall never get a 012 again, for it had the number "2".
It ate my money like a tiger...
Damn.
Can you believe it???
One month, RM400+++!!!!
TwT
OMG...


So...
Now I have a new phone.
Sony Ericsson W595 (I think it's it...???)
White base, red lining.
Looks okay but...
I still prefer my last one.

At least the functions are MUCH BETTER than the old one.
At least I can write simple chinese with PINYIN.
At least I can plug my earplug with the standard HEAD!!!

Mwahahahaha~ (Eh???)




Haiz...
I wonder if the performance will go well...
The band was practiced so damn last minute...
The dance still 50% like that...
We don't even know where's our position!!!
God dammit... (This is so contagious... XD Kaichou-sama~)

Anyway, I shall work hard today!!!
I shall copy those GODDAMMIT stuffs into this stupid book.
And bring it tomorrow...
And DANCE THROUGH IT!!!
YAHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~



Needa work now.
Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~

Monday, December 7, 2009

:: JIYUUUUUUU DA!!!!!! Aries ::

Insert: Nobody (by Wonder Girls)

When I'm typing this, I'm currently in CC, 2.58p.m.
And someone else's playing this song on their computer.
NOTE: It's some Malay girls, and I dunno who they're. LOL~
And Kou and I were clapping along with the song.

"I want nobody nobody but you" *clap clap, points, clap*
"I want nobody nobody but you" *clap clap, points, clap*

It's so fun!!!
They're tables away from us, and yet we can play along with it.
It's stupid, somehow...

And retarded.

Because of the song haven't load finish yet,
The song keep on jamming half way.
So we're like, doing the dance, and stopped while the song jammed.
It look SOOOOOOO retarded. XD

"BABO!" X3



Anyway, today is the last paper.
Economy.
And...
I just hope that I didn't fail...
=w=

The 6th question is DAMN HARD!!!!!!
I don't care about it now.



Cuz...
NOW IS THE TIME TO RELAX AND PLAY~~~~~~

Tomorrow, I'm going out with Kou and Cal.
Yay~
We're going to have a total make over.
Top to toe.
I hope it's going to be okay...

Then...
9th, we going to buy clothes (mainly).



10th, 11th... =w=
Practicing dances for the Annual Dinner...

Oh yeah, I haven't talked about it yet~

We're going to perform 1 band song:
Don't Say 'Lazy' - K-On ED song
And 2 dances: SUPAAAAAAAA MIX
-Motteke! Sailor Fuku (Lucky Stars OP)
-Gee (SNSD/Girl's Generation)
-Sorry Sorry (Super Junior)
-Nobody (Wonder Girls)
And Hare Hare Yukai~~~ (Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu ED)
Nyahaha~ \ ^w^ /



Originally, we want to do the "Julchin Note" version.
The Korean comedic TV show.

Where the Super Juniors act as pretty girls.
And "participate" in the "Miss Julchin".
It's so damn gay and funny~
So, we decided to act as them.

Kou = HEEsica
Me = Miss SHANGHE (Shanghai)
Meso = ANBA woman (forgot her name)
Lvy = CHINPAKU student (the 7th grade highschooler, wtv her name is...)
LOL~
You should see how Kou ACT as HEEsica!!!
Because...
HE DON'T EVEN NEED TO ACT!!!!!!
HE [[[IS]]] HEEsica!!!!!!

And I love that part...
"BABO!!!!!!"
The favorite and the new wind for now. XD
Kou: The new TREND la!!!
Okay lor, the new TREND!!!!!! XXD



Ehem. Continuing...
12th, morning practice dance...
Then band practice...
Then dance practice in my house again...
Then MAKAN!!!
My nephew's fullmoon.
=w=
Bah, who care's 'bout him.
I just want to MAKAN!!!!!! X3

13th will be the only day for full rest...
Although I hope I can stay in my room and sleep for the whole day that day...
-w-
Haiz...

And 14th, practice again...
Then 15th...

The day...

=w=
Haiyo~~~ Kancheong larrrr~~~
Now also haven't cool yet~~~ *w*



Whatever...
At least SPM is off...
And I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT FOR NOW~~~



Nyahahahaha~~~ X3X3

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

: PINK DAY!!! Aries ::

Insert: Gee (by Girl's Generation)

You will NOT going to believe what I'm seeing today...

PINK.

Okay, not everything is pink. But still...

PINK.

It's like...

PINK!!!




First thing I saw that amused me, is a PINK WIRA.
It parked beside the mamak stall on the cross road.
I saw it from the toilet balcony in our school.
Well, I have exam anyway.

Then, I saw... what I saw?
Hmm... Can't remember...
I think is another pink clothing person?

Anyway, that's not the main point.

The worse part comes when we went to makan 1st time.

When we finished makan, suddenly we saw one VERY AMUSING sight...
A PINK CONSTRUCTION TRUCK.
OMG.
We laughed like hell when we saw that scene.
LOL!!!!!!

Then, when we come makan the second time.
One PINK MOTORCYCLE waiting for us.
With it's mistress, also in PINK.
Owo
I know.

Then, we sat down and makan.
Suddenly, we found out that the chicken rice shop aunty's wearing PINK.
Along with the commercial hanging on the ceiling.
One PINK fella inside that thing.
My god...

Oi, is today PINK DAY or what??? =w=

By the way, I should've take some pics...
Sad...



But seriously.
Lucky I'm not wearing pink...
Wait.
I AM wearing one now...
OAo




Shoot... =w=




Oh yeah! I'm so going to reccom this AWESOME video.



You should WATCH IT!!!
THIS THING IS DAMN HILARIOUS!!!!!!
And I'm not kidding, they're ALL Super Junior. Owo

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

:: TwT Aries Part 2? ::

Insert: Lost my pieces [Melancholic guitar version] (by Tommy heavenly6)

*cries*
I can't believe this...
Account is... SO DAMN HARD!!!
MY GODDESS!!!!!!
TwT
Those that I know is only...
The first question, and the fifth one.

The first question is Dokumen.
Of course I know.
I mean, everyone should know.
Right?

Then the fifth one,
Is Penyata Penyesuaian Bank.
I just read about it.
And thank GODDESS I read about it.
Arigato.

About the rest?
I think I failed myself.
TwT
Feel like dying...
*sob, sob, sob, and sobber*

Can't believe I'm ACTUALLY failing AK...
Okay.
Maybe not failing.
But I might not get an "A" for this...

(MV: Hey, at least you have passed!!!)

SO?!
I want an "A++++++"!!!!!!
(MV: =w= That doesn't exist, BABO.)

PS: Babo = Stupid in Korean.
PPS: Babo is the new wind. PH34R IT!!! XD

I don't care about pass or anything below A.
I.
WANT.
"A".
\w/



But...
This time, I really failed myself.
Just can't believe this...
Haiz...

I'm such a Babo... >w<
Gomen nasai AK!!! (v w v)
I failed you... TwT

And I feel ashamed to those who looked up on me in my AK!!!
I failed you all!!!
>w<



Gomen nasai.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

:: 気持ち最大悪いAries Part 7 ::

Insert: 我要快樂? (by A-Mei)

我真的,真的,很讨厌这个可恨的家。
为了一点小事,就来说我。
为了一点小事,就来找我。

“为了这个家”
他们是如此说的。
但是,在我看来,怎样都是为了自己吧。



他们说我不够爱这个家,
不够关心这个家。
那么他们自己呢?
是否有明白过我的感受呢?
他们有没有想过一直以来,
他们说做的一切对我来说又是什么呢?

他们只想到自己,
自己想要我成为什么。
但他们是否有想过我想不想要这样呢?
是否有想过,听过,我的理由呢?

不。
我忘了一件很重要的事实。

“你没有说话的立场。” by 我姐。

就连今天,
和雪,光,还有CY,
在我房里练舞时,
我那白痴的姐姐带着一大群的人,
就酱开了我的门,
冲进了我的房间,

“观看"。

雪很不爽,不对,是全部人都很不爽。
我自己排第一。
为何?

“太没礼貌了吧!” by 雪。

但是,我不能不承认,这就是我的家人。
所以,我恨。
所以,我气。

所以,我无奈。。。



在这个家,一点立场都没有。
身份,
地位,
他们说到好像我真的有完一切,

但我是一无所有的。

有的,只是一个名。
有的,只是一个姓。

身份,地位,立场什么的,
我有吗?



就以今天来说。



早上,
说好了我需要用到这个房,
不能有任何杂物在地上。
我嫂就一直在哪儿跟我“讨价还价”。
说什么,
“你朋友下午才来对吧?
那么,这 modem 放着先啦~”

工人不用打扫吗?
已经一天没扫了。。。

“哎呀,放心啦~
就算放在哪儿也不会顶住工人打扫得啦~”

但他又知不知道,
工人就是因为这样子儿没法打扫干净。



OK, fine.
我让你。
现在我拔掉,让他打扫。
然后,放回去,让你慢慢下载你要的东西。
等到他们来时才再拔掉。

这也就算了。
忽然,他问我,昨晚帮他 scan 的东西呢?
哈?
你要我 print 出来?
如果是颜色的,我能够了解。
但,他说黑白也可以。
不,他一再强调说黑白也可以。
那么,请问一下,
干吗不要直接去复印呢?

他说,我哥没时间。

哈!
果然如此。
我哥果然除了会玩电脑之外,
他是个百分百的废物。
喝!
废材。
我只好跟他说,我只剩下三张纸。
帮不了他。
所以,就 send 了那些资料给他。

怎知,到了晚上,
他竟然叫人拿了一贴纸给我,
叫我印出来。
我顿时真得火了。
他如果能够叫人家帮他拿纸来,
为何就不要叫人去帮他印呢?

废材。
果然是百分百没用的废材。
Hmph!!!

然后,我又很想问,
他知不知道墨是很贵的呢?
一盒要整百块。
而且,才那么一小盒。

废材。
叫他有空帮我买也没有。
MF...



算了。
这个放去一边。
来说一说下一个。



下午说好要去载他们。
我妈却在那边一直说话。
然后又在那儿看一看他的简讯。
拜托!
人已经在等着了!
勘弁してよ!!!

算了。
然后,在车上又说什么。
“今天是大日子又没帮忙,
你认为你这个态度好吗?”
我可以很肯定得跟你说,
是不好的。
但是,你又认为你这样好吗?
而且,好选不选就选这天。
这不是我想要的好不好?
如果可以,我根本就不想和今天同天啊!
谁要和你一起忙啊?
白痴。

终于,他把我丢在那边。
这是好事。
我终于可以自由一段时间了~
而且,我压根都没想过要他陪。
去吧!
离开我视线。
让我想作呕的东西。
Hmph!!!



在那儿,和他们一起,真开心。
直到,是时候去我家练舞的时候。
讨厌。
为何?
太多人了。
浑身不自然。
我朋友都用很“怕”的眼神看着我。
一直指示他们上去,别管他们。
我会呆在那边,称呼一下,已经算很好了。
对这些废物,我真得没想过要讨好他们。
对我来说,他们根本就没舍用处。

然后,练到一半,
我姐就跑上来说,小声一点。
拜托!
好像你们需要平静酱!
你们比我们更大声好不好?

算了,你是长辈,我尽量。

然后,又过不久,带了一大堆亲戚上来。
进来我房,没敲门的那种,
还一进门就说什么:
“我妹有 privacy 嗒!”

MF!
你竟然说得出,
那么为何还要这样?!
神经!

然后,“观看”了满久的,才肯退。
无聊的废材。



然后,7点了,他们要走了。
没办法,我跟他们一起回到 tesco.
然后,我妈驾车。
我已经知道在那之后等着我的是什么。

我妈一定会说什么,
“你看你朋友多么大人!”
“你看你自己还像个小孩!”
“学他们!温柔一点!”
“不要再酱了!”

哇,还果然给我猜中了。
全数说完出来。

那么,我也想要回他。
“每个人都有小孩子的时候。”
“我只是在他们面前才会酱而已。”
“我只是做回自己,而且,你说看到的不是一切。”
“什么叫做我不要酱?你怎么知道他们喜欢的是否就是这样的我?”

但我立不吭声。
为何?
“解释反而显得做作。”



就这样,
我在家中的位置,
都没了。

自由,在哪?
空间,在哪?
正义,在哪?

现在,连我的房间,
已经变成了我哥未来的房间。
我就暂睡在我家的 sofa 上。
整整一个月。

用了我东西,有说谢谢吗?
叫我做事,有真心感谢吗?
说错了我,有向我道歉吗?



把从前想了一遍
谢谢了 伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声 听了都不冷
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有




唉。
谁能告诉我,
这世上,
我能栖息的地方,
到底在哪?

我想要的自由,
我想要的快乐,
我想要的平静,
存在吗?



我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨 我早应该割舍
我要快乐 哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的 全都是假的
我的决定是对的

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

SAYONARA MORAL!!!

Insert: 平常心 (By A-Mei)

This song is SO GOOD.
Especially for somebody that need coolness (平静) after the long stress of...



MORAL.



Yes, I choose to forget (我选择忘记).

Goodbye my moral.
Goodbye my long time enemy.
I hate you, and I'm free 50% because of you.
I don't need to memorize you anymore.
I don't need to put you in my memory anymore.
I can finally get rid of you.

I'm telling you this, my good friends who followed my blog.
I hate moral.
I never ever followed one of the stupid NILAIS it wants us to remember.
And now, I shall tell you how I did not follow.
And for the last time, I'm going to type all the nilai out.



- Kepercayaan kepada Tuhan
Dude, I never really pray to the "Sky". And I don't really have a kepercayaan. I have MULTI. If you really want me to state one, I only have a goddess. And that's not the "Sky".

- Amanah
Ehh? You think I'm a responsible child who never do bad things behind my families' eyes? No. And NEVER. And to add on to that point, I STEAL my mother's $$$ for my own happiness. And yes, they DO owe me that. In my mind. Mwahaha~

- Harga Diri
I did not jaga my image that much, don't I? I always act crazy and all, and NEVER EVER care about my image. Because, that will not be ME, and I just want to be ME, the CRAZY ME. So yeah, out you Harga Diri.

- Bertanggungjawab
Once again, I'm not a good child. I never did the homeworks that the teachers gave to me, I never listen to the teachers, and no, I did not jaga baik the tables and chairs. Thank you.

- Hemah Tinggi
Believe me, everyone in this earth DO NOT have this nilai. Especially when they learn how to say the word "FUCK".

- Toleransi
Oh no, I DO NOT tolerate idiotic and annoying people like... KKS. The SQUARE ASS. Uhuh. Or rather, the most annoying fella in the whole wide world, ANG.

- Berdikari
Even if I am, no one acknowledge me as an independent person. Especially in this damned family.

- Kerajinan
Once again, I am SO NOT RAJIN. I am LAZY!!! Muhahahaha~~~

- Kasih Sayang
Ehh, I'm loving and caring? I don't think so. If I'm really that, I've already donated my whole house of money to the poors and the livings. And, I love violence. So, no kasih no sayang for me.

- Keadilan
I have justice? No. And I must tell, that there's no justice in this world. And I've seen that in my family. Uhuh.

- Rasional
Me? Rational? That's the last thing you'll heard from me.

- Kesederhanaan
Wakaka~ I don't care about other people's importance~ I'm SELFISH!!! Especially towards my family, thank you!

- Kasih Sayang terhadap Keluarga
No way. Never in any way. Just, NO.

- Hormat dan Taat kepada Anggota Keluarga
Again, no way.

- Mengekalkan Tradisi Kekeluargaan
Never do it. No.

- Tanggungjawab terhadap Keluarga
Tanggungjawab towards myself? Yes. Tanggungjawab to them? Go die.

- Menyayangi dan Menghargai Alam Sekitar
I never had the realize to love the nature. If 2012 is going to come, then come! I'm not afraid anyway. People are going to die anyways.

- Keharmonian antara Manusia dengan Alam Sekitar
Err... Not sure what's this harmony between the humans and the AS, so... Basically, I don't care. And I love harmony between the space and the humans more than the nature.

- Kemapanan Alam Sekitar
Ehh~ I don't like these tanggungjawab. Don't push it to me!

- Peka terhadap Isu-Isu Alam Sekitar
Huh? Where got banjir? Where got drought? What?! We're going to fall??? Ahhh~ (Basically, I don't care about isu2 alam sekitar)

- Cinta Akan Negara
NO WAY. There's no way in the earth or the sky I'm going to love my own country. It SUCKS. Sorry you government people, but I seriously hate you all. Thank you.

- Hormat dan Taat kepada Raja dan Negara
I don't even know who's our current raja, so how can I hormat him?

- Sanggup Berkorban untuk Negara
No. There's no way I'm going to korban my computer, or any of my mangas, or any of my money, for the government. No. Way.

- Melindungi Hak Kanak-Kanak
I'm not yet an adult, and no one lindungi my hak. So, no.

- Menghormati Hak Wanita
You know those foul words out there? Those chinese foul words? Those what-Hai and CB and those stuffs? Yeah, THOSE. And FYI, for women, those are insultments. But yet, most people uses it. Wonder why...? And they say they menghormati hak wanita. Uhuh. And I can't do anything about it. Haiz.

- Melindungi Hak Pekerja
Never acknowledge the works of the teachers. Especially that SL. OR the cleaners in the school. Because they never did the jobs right.

- Menghormati Hak Kurang Upaya
I didn't do anything to protect the rights for the OKU, because I just see those people park on the OKU places just like that. Haha?

- Melindungi Hak Individu
Heck, I never care of the other people's importance, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO MONEY. And especially they're total STRANGERS. I LOVE to exploit them. Mwahaha?

- Mematuhi Peraturan dan Undang-undang
Mwahahahaha~ You see those rubbish along the street? 10% of those is my work. Thank you~ (Is that something to be proud of???)

- Kebebasan Bersuara
I don't have the kebebasan AT ALL in my house. So, no. And I love to shut some certain person's mouth for my own sake. Mwahaha...

- Kebebasan Beragama
Is there a kebebasan of beragama in here? I don't see it. Because, Adam just don't get his kebebasan of leaving Islam, just because this is Malaysia. And when you're married to an Islam, you are an Islam, and your child will be an Islam, even if they do not wanted to.

- Penglibatan Diri dalam Pembangunan Negara
I'm so not going to menglibatkan diri in this damned country. SO NOT GOING TO. I'm going out from this country, thank you. And what the heck is Perlembagaan M'***??? I so don't get it.

- Sikap Keterbukaan
Bersedia to give comments? Yeah. Bersedia to accept them? Yeah. But mengikuti the norma of our people? No. We use vulgar words. We use so much stuffs that most people can't accept them. And that's not part of this nilai. Mwahaha?

- Hidup Bersama Secara Aman
That's one thing that never going to happen. Especially with my family. No aman for me. NO PEACE AT ALL. In this neighborhood, there's so much noises. And no, that's not peace.

- Saling Membantu dan Bekerjasama
Sometimes, I just can't find myself to bekerjasama. So, no.

- Saling Menghormati Antara Negara
Sorry, but I don't even respect my own country, so seriously not our neighbor country too, I********.




Phew, 36 nilai. And violating every and single one of those.
Good job me! (Eh???)

So finally, I can have a serene time,
Without memorizing those nilai,
Slowly get them out from my mind,
Drinking PLAIN WATER,
And enjoy all my superb musics.

Mwahahahaha~

(MV: Aren't you forgetting that you still need to read Science?)

...Shit.

Friday, November 20, 2009

:: 多いさしぶりですだ!Aries ::

Insert: Saikyou Pare Parade (Suzumiya Haruhi... song? XD Forgot from which album. Lalala~)

Today is the end of EST...
No, not yet SPM.
And...
I found out that I'm really carefree about SPM here...

I JUST CAN'T TREAT IT AS A REAL EXAM!!!
I JUST KEPT ON TREAT IT AS NORMAL EXAM!!!
WHAT SHOULD I DO~~~

>w<

I know.
Retarded.
But who cares~
I'm happy here~
Nyahahahaha~~~




Okay.
I am retard.
Acknowledged.



Well... Many happened these days and the yadda-yadda-yadda...
The most frustrating thing that happened to me now is that...

My nephew is born!
Yes?
No?
Happy?
Sad?
Not sure...

But it's sure a HUGE problem for me.

You see.
Because of the baby,
Everyone changed their places of sleep.

I'm taking the living room for the past 3 days.
Reason?
My parents are sleeping in MY ROOM.
I mean...
WHO WANTS TO SHARE A ROOM WITH THEM?!?!
SO FREAKING ANNOYING!!!!
>w<

No, and no way I'm going to do that.

And so...
I end up staying in the living room.
Nyahaha~

It wasn't that bad, I had to admit.
Better than sleeping with them, that is. =w=

Oh, and you know when the baby is brought to the house?
Right before the first day of my PRECIOUS SPM.
Nya.

It sucks.
Really.
Not because that he's noisy.
It's because we need to change our usual places for sleep.

Jeeeeeeeeee~~~

And from now on until they renovate the house,
I need to sleep with my bro.
>w<
I so do not like it.

Datte... Otoko da... >w>
If it's Kou, it's different.
But this is my brother.
So...
=w=
Haiz...



Whatever!
I'm going to have fun here!
Screw SPM! OAo
Okay, maybe not.
But now...
Just let me have some fun...

Eheheh~
I DID have fun with...
あたしのご主人様~
Maa... Although I'm the only one having fun though.
At least I think so.
>w<

Whatever~~~
I'm going to play the whole day night~~~
NYAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

:: @e@ Crazy Aries ::

Insert: Dancing in the Velvet Moon (Rosario + Vampire ED, by Mizuki Nana)

Today is the craziest and wildest day ever, in Leisure Mall.

Featuring...

~~~Kou-CHAN!!!~~~


Starting, we went to popular.
Kou is very EMO, saying that he would never do anything to hurt his ex...
Then...
"And I~ Will always love you~" [The final part, the best part. ]
Suddenly, the song just played at that very time.
We looked at each other, and laughed.
Wow, how good is the timing?

Next...
We enter popular...
We encounter some several weir-
Okay, not really weird, but...
Funny, language books.
How funny?

Kou took one Japanese dictionary, and starting to talk.
Weird stuffs from the dictionary.
Like...
Stuffs from K-On.
"Shi'ne!"
"Kibishii~"
And...
"Matte kudasai~"
"Oshiri ga itai~"

Owo
I know.

Then...
I saw a Korean book, and a German book.
I started to speak.
And they're just so weird.
"Bak-song-jong (don't ask me what is that)"
"Wie-geht-es-dir"
It's not the words that's weird, but the pronunciation.
I just don't have that slang!

After that...
We found the Hindu/Tamil book.
Kou started to talk Hindu.
"Adelingporengay (again, don't ask)"
"Vanakam"
We speak like idiots.

But it's not as fun as the Cantonese book.
You know what is "bus" in Cantonese right?
How about "bus driver"?
I tell you, the 拼音 (pinyin) in the book is hilarious.
Bus driver 巴士机 = Baa-Si-Gay
Yes, there's a "Gay" there.
And what's more hilarious?
There're a lot of "gays" inside the book.
I just wonder who did those pinyin for the book.
Stupid punya...

Not to mention, the Mandarin book.
There're a lot of mandarin words inside (duh!).
And we speak them all.

Accordingly words by words, phrase by phrase.

Kou: 我想~ (Dreamily)
Me: 我不想。。。 (Gloomly)
Kou: 萝卜腿! (A really thick legs crossby XD)
Me: 三八! (And those legs passed by again XXD)
Kou: 谁放屁?
Me: 就是你!

OMG, I tell you, this is just hilarious!
This is not the end.
There's more than this.
But I just forgot most of it.
X3



If this is not crazy enough...
I'll tell you about our Giant adventure.

We came down from the escalator...
I just want to comment about how many bags there are on the counter...
Then one woman's bag banged towards my stomach.
Ouch.
It hurts.
But it's funny!
LOL!!!
So hard la the bag, what's inside oh?
We kept on laughing, and comment on the bags in front of the counter.
And...
Suddenly we called those bags "pets".
WTF?!

Where did that come from?
Don't ask me.

Next, we entered Giant...
Wandering randomly...
And then...
Kou started to dance!
Hare Hare Yukai?
No.
It's Jolin Chai's 舞娘!
My god!
And he say it's from Rainne Yang's 任意门!
OMG, his memory got problem XD

Then...
We started to take the items in Giant...
AND DANCED WITH IT!!!
OMG.
You should've been there and see it all...
First, Kou started to push those items with his Hare2 moves.
Then he took two big oil containers and dancing Hare Hare Yukai.
Then he took two packets of paper plates and cover his "boobs".
Which I then use it to dance 舞娘.

But he's worse.
He started to take the juices and dance 舞娘 (the chorus part) with it.
And say...
"Please buy XXX brand chocolate~ They're very good~"
While dancing, and promoting at the same time.
Damn it's just hilarious!
I wish I can record it down!!! XD



Haiz.
We just do a lot of stupid stuffs today.
So fun that I could laugh until I baring lantai.
Hahaha~
Best day, seriously!!!

Final words...
I wish...
That all people can be as crazy as us!!!
Another day like this would come again!!!

XD

Thursday, October 22, 2009

:: ドキドキしちゃう Aries Part 15 ::

Insert: Sad Rain (Blassreiter ED, by Misato Aki)

I can't believe myself.

About what?

That I would cry singing to a song.
No.
Several songs.
Continuously.

Kutsuzure, from Black Cat...

何も言わないで  今この時が通ずくと好いね
僕は唯   見つめてる   願ってる
静かに積もるよ   粉雪

Anata ga Ita Mori, from Fate/Stay Night...

”消せない”
増え過ぎた空気 重ねすぎた記憶と その手もその髪も
貴方が残した 光と影は余にも 大き過ぎるのでした

But I think the main object that triggered these tears are the memories...
While I'm doing the quizzes in facebook.
About the relationship I'm having right now.
Along with the little things about the one I loved.
And...
I just can't help but think of the snows...
The warmth while we're inside the cinema...
The icy smooth that I felt and touched...

They're fading away...
From my life...

Soon, there'll be no warm snow.
No snow that is enjoyable.
No snow that will give me life.
But snow of angst, full of nothing but memories...

今電話が欲しくて。。。
君と繋がれたいとわ。。。
my heart 凍えた待っている。。。

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

:: ^wT Aries ::

Insert: This Love (Blood+ ED, by Angela Aki)

Finally...

I've waited for almost half a year...

And finally...



MY INTERNET HAD GONE BACK TO USUAL!!!

I CAN FINALLY GO BLOGGER AND FACEBOOK!!!!

MWAHAHAHAHA~~~



But today is almost a bad day for me...
Haha.
Lucky for me, everything just returned normal somehow.
Except for one though.
No.
I don't think that will ever went back to usual anymore.
I mean...

Haiz.

I've been feeling pain in my heart since I'm in the school.
Until now...
It's still hurting me.

Why can't I just stop this?

Oh well, it's not like there's still any hope for me anyway.
Maybe it's really time for me to let go this string that I'm gripping on...

But still...

Haiz.

Oh well.

I'll see how later. Perhaps?

Monday, October 12, 2009

:: TwT Aries ::

55555~ My pendrive is gone~~~ My money is flying away~~~ 55555~~~ TwT

Haiz. I use too much money on so-called useless items... Let's see... In the past few months, I used up...

About RM300 for manga/anime stuffs...
About RM300 for the club coat (so-called)...
About RM300 for 1 Terrabyte Samsung Hardrive...
About RM100 for PS stuffs...
About RM100 for random stuffs...

OMG, I just used up my 4 months allowance... =w= I can't believe I'm that... spendable... O0O



Speak of spendable. Do you know about Romance of Three Kingdom? Where the Liu Bei, Cao Cao, and Sun Quan had wars? I'm wondering, what makes them so genderswappable. They appear as females in Ikki-Tousen, Koihime Musou, and even in people's fanarts... And they're gorgeous!!! Owo That's the most intriguing thing... Weird...



Haiz. After the loss of my pendrive, I'm so sad...
Why?
BECAUSE ALL THOSE IMAGES I COLLECTED ARE ALL INSIDE!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *screams and runs around*

What?
Not important stuff?!
You are so wrong!!!
This is the most important stuff for me, okay?
Well, aside from songs, that is... XD



Maa, nandemo ii ya~

At least now that I have the alnew Terrabyte hardrive...
I CAN CONTINUE MY UNLIMITED DOWNLOAD!!!!!
MWAHAHAHAHA~~~
And surely, one day...
I SHALL SURPASS ADAM!!!!!!
MWAHAHAHAHA~~~

And with that, I don't need to delete my precious songs~~~
Yay~~~
And of course, continue downloading my unlimited songs~~~
Nyaaaaaaaaaaaa~~~~~~~~~

Monday, October 5, 2009

:: 疲れたAries Part 8 ::

Insert: Crushcrushcrush (Paramore)

Oh yes, I'm in love with Paramore now~~~ I love the drums~~~ Nyaaaaa~~~



A lot of stuffs happened lately, and I'm very frustrated and tired about all of them. School, family, friends, clubs... and most importantly, relationship. And of course, do not forget about facebook. XD

Haiz.
I still need to finish my project...
Haiz.
I still need to do clean out my room and move into my sis' house.
Haiz.
I still need to care about my friends without neglecting another.
Haiz.
I still need to complete all the files...
Haiz.
I still dunno what to do with myself...
Haiz.
I still can't log into facebook. =w=

Okay, the last one is obviously a joke.
What, I can't make a joke?
I'm just too stressed out, 'kay?

Haiz...

Not sure how many time I sighed.
But I still haven't finish sighing yet...

Haiz......



Seriously, I need to rest...
Holiday, please?
Oh, even holiday I need to work on those stuffs.





Haiz.........................................

:: ドキドキしちゃう Aries Part 14 ::

Insert: Transparent (Phantom -Requiem for the Phantom- 2nd OP)

他根本就不在乎你嘛。
干吗还要继续为他付出呢?
就因为对他的思念?
就因为对他的痴情?

就因为对他的爱?

很不明白。

明明是一个不爱你的人,
明明是一个不在乎你的人,
明明是一个对你的死活都不关心的人,
为何还要对他那么好?

他只是在玩你,你看不出吗?

Is love really that blind?
Or we’re just pretending that we do not know anything?
Ignoring and just kept on ignoring.
Even if one really hates you,
Or don’t even acknowledge your presence?

これは最大の嘘だ!
これは最大のトラップだ!
何故お前が解んないの?!

愛、だから、ですか?
唯その理由ですか?!
唯その、馬鹿の理由ですか?!
そんなの物、食べにできるか?!
そんなの物、本とに幸せに有るのか?!
お前より、唯最大の苦しみだろう?!
だったなら、何故?!
何故まだあいつを愛して、気にって、欲しいって?!

It’s just an illusion!
A lie!!
The most foolish feel of all!!!

Why can’t you understand?!
Why are you still in this kind of mess?!
Why don’t you open up your eyes and take a good look at all of this?!
Are you really that stupid,
Or you’re just really that naïve?!

ARGH!!!




---


快断的红线

Genre: Sad Rock
Tone: Confused, anger, sadist
Theme: Unrequited love
Instruments: Piano, Electric Guitar, Bass, Drum
Vocal: Me, I guess?

挣扎30天
痛苦3个月
以为终于等到了
他的答案

浪费了时间
弃下了逻辑
到头还是得不到
他的心

努力了这么久到头来还是一场空
明明在一起却还是会感到寂寞
独自付出一切真情真意没让他感动
只是留下空白的记忆陪着度过

为什么还不死心
他已经说对你没感情
为什么还在原地你不肯前进
捉住那快断的红线
你是否还在期待他会回头向你微笑
说一切都是个玩笑他在考验你
根本不可能
别在幻想了
别在痴情了
别在等待了

看似两个月
只有两星期
在一起的时间
是多么短暂

所有的感情
所有的过去
就算不再提起
每天在回忆

消遣了这么多时间歇斯底里为他想
偏偏他就对你的死活默不关心
曾经好几次都反复想要和他开口
但是就在最后关头你却在摇头

为什么说不出口
“分手”二字有何多痛苦?
为何不要一次过结束这难过
斩断那快断的红线
不要再为他顾虑这么多,马上放手
他不值得你再等候,大步向前走
但是不可能
没勇气放手
不想要放手
不舍得放手

过去的记忆
像CD Repeating
就算不去回忆
还是不停

清晰的旋律
荡漾在脑海里
幻想出的甜蜜
已经没心情再继续

为何还死心塌地
他不是说对你没感情?
为什么不要结束内心的折磨
看着那快断的红线
你是否在希望有奇迹出现把它填补
不理谁的阻扰劝阻继续在等待

就因为你不舍得
所以继续折腾你自己
就因为不想放弃选择了等待
追逐那快断的红线
不管他前面的路多么难受多么辛苦
你就是要走完这段非一般的旅途

不想要放弃
不想要放手
不肯向前走
因为还是爱着他

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

:: ドキドキしちゃう Aries Part 13 ::

Insert: 我可以抱你嗎 (by A-Mei)

I don’t get it.
I just don’t get it.
Why are you so cold?
Why do you looked like as if you dislike me?

I’m not sure.
I’m unconfirmed.
I’ve done so much thinking that I just don’t get it.

Just… Why…?

Is it just because of exam?
Or there are other reasons that you couldn’t say to me?
I just wanted to know, what is really wrong?

Is it my fault? Or other stuffs?
Is it personal? Or it’s work?
If it’s my fault, I will try to not do it again.
If it’s not my fault, I wish I could help you.



My heart is slowly being torn into pieces by your attitudes.
I just couldn’t understand.
I nearly show my true emotions to my friends,
When I shouldn’t, because it’s just not me if I’m like that.
And they thought I’m angry of them.

Although, yes,
I’m kinda angry if they’re trying to play me now.
But, it’s just not normal for me to just be angry like that.



“不勉強你再為了我 心不在 留不留都是痛”



Haiz…
I’m just so afraid…
If you’re just playing with me…
If you do not see me as a lover…
Just a normal person, or even a stranger.

But I’m utmost afraid…



If you hate me.



But if you really hate me, I can do nothing about it, right?
There’s no way to tell you to not hate me.
Even I’m not that afraid if you’re not really in love with me.
I mean…

Being hate by your loved one,
Is the most painful thing in the world…
Right?

I don’t even care about whether I could understand you 100% now.
I just want you to tell me, whether you hate me or not.
Although, you did say that you do not hate me.
I’m quite happy by that.
But…

I’m just scared…
That you will someday…



So… Can you tell me?
The reasons that you act like this towards me?

Just…

Why…?

“你也不得已 我會笑笑的離去”

:: 気持ち最大悪いAries Part 6 ::

It’s just the next day.
The fuckers are telling me the same thing.
AGAIN.

WTF?!

There’s a reason I say that “I know”.
There’s a reason I say repeat the same 2 words.
Because I’ve already known.
So don’t even start to say a thing.
Don’t even try to repeat what you’re going to say.
There’re all in my mind.
I’ve known what you’re going to say.
So save your energy, never say it out.

Because I don’t want to listen a damn thing that you’re going to say.

And that, ruined my mood.

I wanted to watch TV.
But since they talked as if they’re so great.
Fine, let them play mah-joung there.
I go up.
I go post this thing in my blog.
Unleash my emotions and let them go wild.

I’m on the edge now.
But you will never know.


Until I scream it out loud.
In your face.

:: 気持ち最大悪いAries Part 5 ::

Insert: Get the Future (by Takahashi Hitomi)

This world has no justice.
Since the day I grew up in this family, I understood this concept of life.

My family treat me like a fool, although I really WAS a fool.
But now I’m an adult.
Can’t they treat me better?

I admit. I’m wrong.
I admit. I’m noisy.
I admit. I’m inconsiderate.
But does that means that you are not?
Does that means that you can just defy my actions?
Does that means that you understood my actions?
Does that means that you have the right to critisize my actions?

When you are actually messing up my place just for your selfishness?
When you are actually ORDERING me to do stuffs for your playfulness?
When you are actually the one that’s WRONG?!

And my brain is none for your insultments.
I have absolutely nothing in intelligence for you to insult.
I am a little slow, yes, but that does not means that I do not know what to do.

So can you please SHUT UP and let me do what I want?

I already tell you I want to leave this house.
I already tell you I can be on my own.
But you insisted to want me be in this house.
But you insisted that I couldn’t take care of myself.

And now you’re telling me I’m noisy?
While you already knew what will happen if you insisted that I’m going to stay here?
And now you’re critisizing me how to take care of myself?
While you never even let me do it?



It was just a game, alright?
Mah-Jong, to be exact.
I know how to play, from the start.
Is just that YOU are the one that ASSUMED that I do not know a single thing.
So I proved that I know the general knowledge.
And what the heck, you praise me as if I’ve got a prize.
It’s just a general knowledge, dude!!
How can it be so hard???

Am I really that brainless in your mind?

But you know what, to me, you are the brainless one.

I’m just playing, training my brain.
You’re there telling me, what to throw and what to eat.
AS IF I REALLY DON’T KNOW.
AS IF I REALLY NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE.

So much things that you have done, in just a short one hour length.
You have critisize me at least 2 times in a game.
You have mocked me at least 3 times in a game.
In total, I could not count but, if one game is 5 minutes, you have already…
Critisize me 24 times.
Mocked me 36 times.
In 12 games.

And what’s next?
You’re going to “teach” me.
Hell, I can be a better teacher than you.
I’m just giving you face, okay.
Don’t think I’m really that stupid, would you?

Just that you’re better than I am, doesn’t mean that you can critisize my actions.
Just because you think that I am a fool, doesn’t mean that I am really a fool.
I can be smarter than you.
I can be richer than you.
I can be anything BETTER than you.
If I want to.

You know, you can be such a JERK some times.
If you weren’t my blood-related family, I’ve already wanted to say this phrase in your face.

“Shut the fuck up, would you?!”

And seriously, I’m on the borderline to yell out this phrase.
This exact phrase.
Although I have yelled for millions of times in my heart.
Just to give you some prides you need as my elders.
I respect you.

But what you’ve done had made me losing the respect.
Each step going down the stairs.
I’m starting to hate you.
To dispise you.
To leave you.
To do whatever that opposes you.



Although I oppose the idea of having that baby in my huge room.
But did they listen? No.
I mean, since when they listen to MY OPINION?
They always talked about THEIR OPINION.
And FORCED their opinions on ME.

So what? I’m going out from the room.
What month is that?
About November to December.
What time is that?
My SPM time.
EXACTLY.
So my mom said “Sorry”.
But did that help?
No.
Because I don’t think anyone in the family even felt to say “sorry”.
Because I was so disliked by them.
I don’t care about being disliked.
The world is already unfair anyway.
This is just the beginning.
I know.

What if I’m back to my room?
I’m going to be with the aunty that’s going to take care of the baby.
AND the baby itself.
But I don’t think they WANT me to stay in the room.
Because whatever I do, is no way good for the baby.

So where I’m going to stay then?
In my parents room.
Along with them.

HECK.

You know what?
Sleeping in the living room’s sofa is far much better than staying in THEIR room.
Imagine my dad’s bomb in the night.
Imagine my mom’s nagging UNTIL night.
Can I sleep in there?
I don’t think so.
Can I even study?
I can NEVER think so.

That is why I told them I want to move out.
They do not approve.
So?
I’m going to stay here like Harry Potter?
Sleeping in a storeroom?
Well, he’s far more better than I do.
At least he gets a real home later.
Me?
I have nothing.

I have no foster parents to pass a house to me.
I’m no legendary child.
I’m just another normal child with no power, no money, no pride.
Although how much do I protest, nothing will go my way.
Even the choice where I want to go study music?
Is something they WANT ME to be.
It’s nothing they do not want me to be.
But when I’m going to study music technology?
They oppose.
Saying, “I just want you to be a normal music teacher.”

Hell.
Is that going to happen in me?
Never.
Even if I will, it’ll be decades after this.

And what’s worse?
They want to interfere with my hair.
Telling me to cut on THEIR style.
Heck.
I don’t need their fashion senses.
Theirs are the WORST to come by.
I don’t even want to trust them.
They just force everything on me.



I’m not gonna let you do whatever stuff that you want with my life.
No, and NEVER.

Singapore? I’m going.
And that will be the final destination that you fools can control.
I’m going to break free after that.
I’m going to soar higher in the sky.
I’m going to melt the chains that you have put on me, eternally.
And I shall NEVER come back.

Trust. My. Words. People.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

:: ドキドキしちゃう Aries Part 12 ::

理由は無い。

打电话向和你说话。。。
理由は無い。

如果真得要我讲出一个理由的话。。。
那就是。。。

我想听到你的声音。。。

就是那么简单。。。
就是那么容易。。。

但是。。。
又是最难,最复杂的一件事。。。

很怕你会觉得很闷。。。
很怕你会觉得我很烦。。。
很怕我会让你感到反感。。。

所以,我选择了只说出重点。
那么我的重点呢?
从哪里来?

只有Club 的事情。。。

很少说我的事情。。。
更少说你的事情。。。

因为。。。
我不想要让你烦。。。
你不想要让我知道(?)。。。

所以。。。

我们的距离。。。
越来越远了。。。

随着考试的压力。。。
随着那些人所给的眼光。。。
我。。。
你。。。

越来越远了。。。



这个假期。。。
见不到你。。。
是我最大的难受。。。

打电话给你,本以为可以好过一点。。。
怎知。。。
你的态度是如此的冷漠。。。
可能你不觉得。
但是,
我的心真得很痛。。。
很痛。。。

但是,你说你只想听到重点,那么。。。
我就只说重点好了。
因为你说。。。
你不想要啰里啰唆的事情,很烦。

所以。。。
我苦笑了。
我就也不让你烦。
因为,我不想要你觉得不爽。。。
不想要有看到你为不重要的东西而烦。

所以。。。
我塑短了一天需要和你说话的时间。。。
从2小时30分。。。
变成了2分钟30秒。。。

是没有计算过没错,
但是,我的心情,就像2分钟30秒般。。。
觉得好短。。。
缺少了很多。。。

但是,这未必不是件好事。。。
因为,为了考试而承受着压力的你,
终于有些休息的时间了。。。
我还是不要打扰你吧。。。



ねえ、ご主人様。。。
あたしの気持いは知ってるの?
可能你知道,可能你不知道。。。
但是,
无论你知不知道,
我还是会说一句话。。。



愛している。

Sunday, August 16, 2009

:: 今週のAries – 嬉しい ::

Insert: Give Me Up (by Tamaki Nami)

Ahh~ How much I love this song~ XD Okay, skip that.

The whole week had a lots of funs, and a lots of troubles.
The good part of this week has… plenty? XD

First of all,
Pn. Lim agreed to let us make the Vampire Knight uniform for us to wear during Hajimari no Aki.
Then, I have finally finished doing, and typing the whole project and handed into Pn. Patricia.
Although she did not said that she approved it, but she’s going to discuss with Pn. Lim.
It means… THIS PROJECT WILL GO WELL!!! YES!!!
Mwahahahaha~~~ My efforts didn’t go wasted!!!



~ Getsuyoubi ~

On Monday, we went to Kou’s house and see him make his experimental toast.
It’s quite nice, yes, but… =w= It requires a lot of time and stuffs… Haiz…
That fella and I were waiting in his room.
What the heck, he told me not to do anything weird!
As if he’s not doing anything weird outside from the room!
With Zen!!! =w=
Grr… I hate him for some reasons…
But thanks to Zen, I have a REALLY good time with that fella~ Nyan~ ^w^

Well, Zen drove us to the Guitar Store to buy the bass.
So on the car, that fella and I were sitting on the back.
We’re like playing and talking…
Then suddenly that fella talked about one topic, and made me go “Nyan”.
The embarrased style of “Nyan”, or the guilty “Nyan”, I forgot…
Then…

I can’t believe that fella let me sleep on!

No, to be exact, I can’t believe that fella put one arm around my neck…
And dragged me to be closer towards the… chest?
Okay, it’s not exactly the chest.
It’s above the chest.
I’m not that short. =w=
Then, that fella go and pet my head, and said:
“He la, he la. (Hokkien? Not sure)”
So I rested my head on that fella’s… above the chest.
(Seriously, what does that part called as? The bone part? =w=)
It feels so good~

But it ends very quickly.

Why?
Thanks to some certain idiots in front of me,
Playing and acting so closely with each other!!!
Makes me feel weird all of the sudden, and blurted out.
“Err… Okay, it’s weird.”
Then that fella replied me while taking the arm back.
“You also know hor.”
Argh! My arm! Ah, no. I mean, that fella’s arm! =w=
It’s not circling me anymore!!! +w+
Grr… I hate you Kou!!! I shall blame you with this!!! \w/
Mrrrraaaaaaaawwwwwwww!!!!!! *glares*



So, we’re in Guitar Store after that.
It’s a bass that we wanted to buy.
But that fella didn’t have much money, so I kind of borrow first.
Well, although that fella DID tell me that returning the money is like…
Several 100 years later.
But I paid for it anyway. Haha.
And I do thought of buying that as a gift… Hahaha…
(And I was scolded for saying so. X3
Although I received a pet very soon too. ^w^)

The most amazing thing of that fella is that…
The bass’ original price is RM890.
But is cut down to RM770 (I think, or lower than that owO)
OMG… How can that fella did that?!?!
What did that fella said to the shop owner?!?! Owo
I was kind of shocked when I saw the final price…
After adding in all those champlang stuffs…
Like the bags and all that…
It’s not even the original price of the bass!!!
It’s just RM850-+!!!
OMG!!! OwO

Okay, that fella is really a Kami-sama… =w=
Sasuga goshujin-sama… Sugoi!!! ‘w’

After buying the bass,
we decided to go to Giant in Connaught to see the prices.
So we’re in Zen’s car again.
And… All 4 of us are again, in a very lovely matter.
If I can say that?
Well, at least those 2 in front of us are. =w=
Hate them.



Especially when we’re in Giant.



I can’t believe they’re like, kissing in front of me!!!
GRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
And I’m like making a big fuss out of it.
That fella heard me, but didn’t know what’s wrong.
So those 2 were asked to do it again,
Against my damn protest about doing it again.
Don’t want to see it again, I quickly walk out.
I knew they did it, and that fella only “Oh”ed at it.

How unemotional. =w=

So after that, Kou asked that fella.
“Ei, you don’t mind kissing with people?”
“Of course. It’s not the first time anyway.”
Then Kou looked at me one kind, and I nodded.
I knew it for a long time.
Well, that fella told me anyway.
Right after Shirly asked me to ask that fella.
So… That fella told me. Yeah.
Although I acted nothing, but actually I’m kind of…
Jealous.
Yeah. That’s the best word… I think?
Because it’s not something that hurts me, but…
Hmm…
Not sure. It’s kinda sour-ish…
So…
Maybe?
Haiz…

Then I’m alone with Zen for a while,
As Kou and that fella are looking at those prices.
So we’re like talking about our relationships.
“Why do you give out so much to that fella?” He asked.
“Hmm… Dunno? Because… I feel like it?”
“You’ll regret later.”
“Ha, talk about yourself.”
“Haiz. I’m very painful now, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.”
Then we’re going to talk more about it,
But Kou and that fella looked back at us.
They have the “What?” look at us, but we shook it off.
Haha?

“Even if you don’t feel anything for me.”
Heh, that fella will never know how I really felt.
To be by side.
To be together.
“Atashi, mada, anata no soba ni itai.”
To be the one that wants the other to be happy.
To be the one that wished self to be happy,
But knows that its hard to achieve.

Still, I’m happy to be with that fella.
“Just because I’m in love with you”

But…
Hey, do you know?
How much that I love you?
How much that I think of you?
To be held by you…
To be whispered by you…

To be with you…
“Nee, shitteru?”



Ahaha, another song of mine.
Okay, don’t mind that, skip~



~ Doyoubi ~

Then... Saturday, my best day...
(And a small event made it turn into a semi-bad day in the week.)

I'm able to go on a date with that fella!!! Nya~n!!! ^w^

I purposely put on an entirely different me up too.
By making myself look more girlish than usual.
Although in Hip-Hop style XD
That didn't waste my 1 hour effort in picking the best clothing.
(That fella said that I'm kawaii~~~ see below.)
Mwahahahaha~~~
I'm so happy 'bout it.

Of course, I didn't put on the happy face...
Just kept on “Yes! Yosya!! Yatta!!!” in my mind.
Hahas?

When we're in Zen's car, we're acting lovely duey again~
Heheheh~
This time, I'm able to sleep longer in that fella's...
Above chest. X3
And... I'm able to pull the arm closer and feel it with my lips.
Damn!!!
It's so smooth!
Yet the master of the arm said it's not...
And mine's smoother.
Huh...
I do think that that fella's arm is smoother though...

We're on Zen's car, and the music is loud like hell.
I can't hear a single word what Kou is talking 'bout.
Then, we're talking about something,
That makes me chose to listen finish Halo first,
Before answering them.
I think it's something that embarrassed me... X3

Anyway, at the back, we decided to move towards the left,
'cause the sun in on the right,
And that fella hates the sun.
So we sat closer, and that feel is really good~
Heheh~

It's not long until we reach times square car park.
Then, we began to notice that there's animal patterns on the pillars.
We're making so much fun out of it. Haha~

The first thing that I do when I straight come down from the car is...
Hold that fella's arm.
Well, since that fella didn't mind, so I just hold it.
Often, I complimented about the skin,
Saying that it's smooth, and rub mine with it.
OMG, the feel is just so good~
(Okay, please don't think pervy. It's just arm to arm.)
I can nearly imagine myself with love patterns all around my head.
Nya~n~
Can't help but meow'ed out~

Hmm… Basically, we just kept on roaming around without a purpose.
Not really that exciting, if you ask me.
And that fella just stop by any bookstores that was spotted.
Haiz…
But I’m still happy, to be with that fella.
At least I can grab on the arm for the whole day ^w^

But one thing for sure is that…
Most stuffs in the food court is UNEDIBLE.
Okay, maybe not that much, but they sucks =w=
Do not simply buy any food.
Of course, you can try out the Italian Food.
Kou said that it’s nice (although he chose other food that day…)

Some bad foods to note are…
The western food that’s cooked by the Malays,
Which they use the BBQ like thing to grill the foods…
Eww…
Never want to eat that again…



After eating, we went and look for A1 Taylor’s location.
But when we phoned them, they said that they’re near Bkt. Bintang.
Not in times.
=w=
What the heck?!
…Haiz, fine.

Well, we ended up in the place where the Japanese Food Fare is held.
Yay~ I grabbed plenty stuffs there~
Mwahahahaha~
I grabbed a lot of chocos, the ingredients to cook cold soba…
And I grab the foods without any limit. =w=
Whatever I see the stuffs that I wanted,
I just grab it and threw them into the basket…
That fella looked at me like this. O0O
Ahahaha… >w>
Ended up… The total is…
RM170++
OMG… OwO
I shocked at that moment…
What’s more heartbreaking than that is…
I accidentally broke a huge glass of wine that cost RM62++
TwT
There goes my items… Giving back to the person…
5555~ TwT

And that basically turn the day quite bad.
But we quickly get over it.
We decided to choose a place to calculate the prices for everything.
So we went to Old Town and take a break there.
The best thing is…
Kou decided to belanja us ^w^
Sankyu ne, Kou~

Still…

I can’t believe that fella ate the egg yorks without anything…
And the worst thing about it is the egg whites are not being eaten…
And what’s next?
Kou and I grabbed the plate away, and stopped the crime (?!).
The law of eating the half-boiled egg is to add the spices in…
WHEN IT’S HALF RAW!!! =w=
This egg… It’s like… 80% cooked…
Haiz…
But it’s still nice. Somehow…
Eggs are always nice… I think?
Yeah…



After the short break, we decided to go back to LM.
We’re in Zen’s car again.
Phew… I’m so tired…
Feel like sleeping…
Then…
I’m in that fella’s embrace again.
Ahhh… This feel is just so nice…
I can smell the scent of the shampoo from here.
Ehehe~ ^///^

Then I asked that fella…
“Do you know why I dressed up like this today?”
“Hmm… Is it because you heard I said something?”
“Mmm… you said a lot of things…
Like…
‘You wear like this will be very kawaii…”
“Yeah. It is cute.”
Nya~n~ I’m smiling inside my heart that moment~

There's more stuffs after that, but I don't want to spread it out...
Not now.
Eheheh~



When we arrived in Leisure, we went to find that fella’s brother.
Well, that fella got no one to fetch back,
So is forced to stay in Leisure until 9.30p.m.
Of course, I wished to stay back beside,
So I phoned my bro and tell him I’m staying.
Since that time is about 6 something,
And that fella’s brother is going to watch a movie,
We decided to watch a movie too.
灵灵狗。
It’s a very hilarious comedy~
But it lacks of a plot, seriously.

Though I have fun in there…
Once again, the arm is embracing me,
Half way through, that fella looked at me,
“Erm… You… Haiz. Nevermind la. You’ll be freeze to death.”
I think I know what does it means, so I hold on the hand.
Wow… It’s so freezing cold…
So I decided to warm it up, although that fella did warned.
“Don’t touch me, it’s very cold. You’ll freeze to death.”
I did not say another single word, but just grabbed on the hand.
Trying to warm it up.
Until I realize my hands wasn’t enough.
And I have this thought of…
Putting it into my chest. @///@
Okay, that’s not going to happen.
So instead of that, I just use my face to warm it up.
Haha?
Better than using the chest, right? >w>

After the very hilarious movie, we went out.
Still, I'm not satisfied with this...
I wished to have more...
And more...
And more...
Am I a bit greedy?
=w=
I guess so...



~ Mainichi… ~

Speaking of which,
I’m very curious about whether that fella mind me to hold hands with.
I sms’ed like this (Of course I took out all the not important details)
“Hey, do you mind if I hold hands?”
Immediately, I got the reply…
“With who?”
Huh… I was sleeping already… (I expect no reply…)
“With you la who else!”
“Why should I mind?
Wei, you actually want more is it?
If not why Kou ask so?
Well, when I say I don’t mind I mean it.”
The next thing I do, is to phone, and said.
“Kou is just kidding la. Don’t take it serious!”
But then, I was asked back.
“Even though it's a joke, don't you want it?”
Well, of course I wanted it!!!
Who the heck do not want a kiss from their loved one?!
=w=

But...
Want is want...
Whether you can do it, it's still a problem.
“What 'can do it'? If you really want, I'm fine with it.”
Maybe, you're fine with it.
But... I'm not.
I don't know.
When I knew that I'm allowed to, I'm happy.
Yet, it felt different.
I just can't allow myself to do this.
Don't ask why...

Because I don't know.

Perhaps...
Maybe it's because that fella is not serious?
Or maybe that fella think that is serious enough,
But it's not, actually.
To me, that fella is just half-experimenting.
Maybe that's why I chose to be in a distance.
Maybe that's why I chose to not think of those stuffs...



But the funny thing about us is that...
We actually talked about what will happen to us in the future.
Owo
I know.
It's weird.
And...
The conversation and discussion is weird, too...
I even told that fella 'bout the stuffs of my family...
(Hmm… Those stuffs I’ve noted in the blog.)
And...
Talked until midnight 1a.m...
=w=
Uhuh...

So damn tired the next day…



~ Kyou: 11/8 ~

Then today…
I ponteng my class alongside with that fella,
In my empty class.

In the outside, we looked like we’re discussing about club stuffs.
But in the inside, we’re actually talking about…

“What the stuffs that you don’t eat?”
“Ello miss, the stuffs I don’t eat are a lot okay?”
“I know. Okay la. Then… What’re the stuffs you eat?”
“Erm… Ahaha… Think a lil’, those I eat are a lot too…”
=w= What the… Okay…?
“Hmm… I eat… Maybe… Prawns? Ahh, prawns are good~
You peel the shells, and eat it like that, it’s really good~”

By the time that fella mentioned prawn, I’ve already write it down.
The procedure of how to prepare the prawn, I’ve also written down.
Every words and every important details, I did not missed out.

Since when I’m so fond of cooking?
Well…
As soon as I knew that that fella likes the Cold Soba I made,
I have this thought of:
“Okay, I’m going to make for that fella everyday.”

Perhaps… I’m really fond of that fella.
And that’s why… I did so much about it…

But then, I was asked.
“Actually… Why do you want to do so much?
Why do you want to go through all the troubles?”
“Hmm? Just… For fun?”
For fun, is not an answer, actually…
“I did it just for you.”
This is my true answer.
But… I don’t know why, I just twist my answer.

Hmm…
Can’t I be straightforward towards that fella?
I don’t know…
Perhaps, I’m still afraid.
Afraid of that fella, afraid of myself.
Or…
Hmm…
Maybe it’s because the environment doesn’t allow me to be straightforward?
Just because…
There’s a lot of students around there when I’m being asked?
Hmm…
Maybe…



Still…
I can’t help but thinking…
Am I worthy to be alongside that fella?
Can I protect that fella?
Does that fella liked me back?
Or just being “coorperative” with me, play this “game” with me?
Or…
That fella just don’t mind me at all?

Haiz…
I really do not know…
I’m so damn blurred…
Perhaps someone around me can give me the answer.
If they knew who that fella is,
If they knew all about that fella,
If they knew the whole situation.

But the point is, no one knows about it.

So no one can give me the answer.
No one but that fella.
No, I don’t think that fella even know what self is thinking.

So I’m alone again.
To think this by my own self…
Although it’s a good thing, somehow…

Haiz…

I’m not going to sleep tonight…

But…
At least I can phone that fella?
Hmm…



Haha, peace out for now~



> Nee, Shitteru?


Genre: Pop
Tone: Kinda sour-ish
Theme: Confused love???
Instruments: Electric Guitar, Drum, Bass, Keyboard
Vocal: Me

ねえ、知ってる?
貴方の事をどんな好きで?
何時までも
貴方の事を考えて

朝から夜に
何処までも貴方の事を
あたしの心にずっと考えて

今、貴方を会いたいよ
貴方と一緒欲しいよ
こんな近くでも
如何して遠い見たいの?

何故、一緒に駄目だよ?
まだ恋人じゃないの?
訊ねる欲しいよ
でも怖かったよ
ねえ、知ってる?

ねえ、知ってる?
貴方の事をどんな気にって?
何処までも
あたしだけと一緒欲しいよ

多分嫉妬でしょ?
貴方とあたし以外の人一緒
だってその時あたし不安に感じた

今、あたし達の関係は
一体何だろうか?
こんな近くでも
まだ遠い見たいよ

何故、説明に駄目だよ?
あたし本とに知らないよ
あと少しの日々
もう時間ないだよ
ねえ、知ってる?

ねえ、あたしの言葉は
届けたい出きるか?
その時貴方の
答え何だろうか?

今、貴方を会いたいよ
貴方と一緒欲しいよ
こんな近くでも
如何して遠い見たいの?

何故、一緒に駄目だよ?
まだ恋人じゃないの?
訊ねる欲しいよ
でも怖かったよ

今、あたし達の関係は
一体何だろうか?
こんな近くでも
まだ遠い見たいよ

何故、説明に駄目だよ?
あたし本とに知らないよ
あと少しの日々
もう時間ないだよ
ねえ、知ってる?

ねえ、知ってる?

あたしの思いを

ねえ、知ってる?