Insert: 我要快樂? (by A-Mei)
我真的，真的，很讨厌这个可恨的家。
为了一点小事，就来说我。
为了一点小事，就来找我。
“为了这个家”
他们是如此说的。
但是，在我看来，怎样都是为了自己吧。
他们说我不够爱这个家，
不够关心这个家。
那么他们自己呢？
是否有明白过我的感受呢？
他们有没有想过一直以来，
他们说做的一切对我来说又是什么呢？
他们只想到自己，
自己想要我成为什么。
但他们是否有想过我想不想要这样呢？
是否有想过，听过，我的理由呢？
不。
我忘了一件很重要的事实。
“你没有说话的立场。” by 我姐。
就连今天，
和雪，光，还有CY，
在我房里练舞时，
我那白痴的姐姐带着一大群的人，
就酱开了我的门，
冲进了我的房间，
“观看"。
雪很不爽，不对，是全部人都很不爽。
我自己排第一。
为何？
“太没礼貌了吧！” by 雪。
但是，我不能不承认，这就是我的家人。
所以，我恨。
所以，我气。
所以，我无奈。。。
在这个家，一点立场都没有。
身份，
地位，
他们说到好像我真的有完一切，
但我是一无所有的。
有的，只是一个名。
有的，只是一个姓。
身份，地位，立场什么的，
我有吗？
就以今天来说。
早上，
说好了我需要用到这个房，
不能有任何杂物在地上。
我嫂就一直在哪儿跟我“讨价还价”。
说什么，
“你朋友下午才来对吧？
那么，这 modem 放着先啦~”
工人不用打扫吗？
已经一天没扫了。。。
“哎呀，放心啦~
就算放在哪儿也不会顶住工人打扫得啦~”
但他又知不知道，
工人就是因为这样子儿没法打扫干净。
OK, fine.
我让你。
现在我拔掉，让他打扫。
然后，放回去，让你慢慢下载你要的东西。
等到他们来时才再拔掉。
这也就算了。
忽然，他问我，昨晚帮他 scan 的东西呢？
哈？
你要我 print 出来？
如果是颜色的，我能够了解。
但，他说黑白也可以。
不，他一再强调说黑白也可以。
那么，请问一下，
干吗不要直接去复印呢？
他说，我哥没时间。
哈！
果然如此。
我哥果然除了会玩电脑之外，
他是个百分百的废物。
喝！
废材。
我只好跟他说，我只剩下三张纸。
帮不了他。
所以，就 send 了那些资料给他。
怎知，到了晚上，
他竟然叫人拿了一贴纸给我，
叫我印出来。
我顿时真得火了。
他如果能够叫人家帮他拿纸来，
为何就不要叫人去帮他印呢？
废材。
果然是百分百没用的废材。
Hmph!!!
然后，我又很想问，
他知不知道墨是很贵的呢？
一盒要整百块。
而且，才那么一小盒。
废材。
叫他有空帮我买也没有。
MF...
算了。
这个放去一边。
来说一说下一个。
下午说好要去载他们。
我妈却在那边一直说话。
然后又在那儿看一看他的简讯。
拜托！
人已经在等着了！
勘弁してよ！！！
算了。
然后，在车上又说什么。
“今天是大日子又没帮忙，
你认为你这个态度好吗？”
我可以很肯定得跟你说，
是不好的。
但是，你又认为你这样好吗？
而且，好选不选就选这天。
这不是我想要的好不好？
如果可以，我根本就不想和今天同天啊！
谁要和你一起忙啊？
白痴。
终于，他把我丢在那边。
这是好事。
我终于可以自由一段时间了~
而且，我压根都没想过要他陪。
去吧！
离开我视线。
让我想作呕的东西。
Hmph!!!
在那儿，和他们一起，真开心。
直到，是时候去我家练舞的时候。
讨厌。
为何？
太多人了。
浑身不自然。
我朋友都用很“怕”的眼神看着我。
一直指示他们上去，别管他们。
我会呆在那边，称呼一下，已经算很好了。
对这些废物，我真得没想过要讨好他们。
对我来说，他们根本就没舍用处。
然后，练到一半，
我姐就跑上来说，小声一点。
拜托！
好像你们需要平静酱！
你们比我们更大声好不好？
算了，你是长辈，我尽量。
然后，又过不久，带了一大堆亲戚上来。
进来我房，没敲门的那种，
还一进门就说什么：
“我妹有 privacy 嗒！”
MF!
你竟然说得出，
那么为何还要这样？！
神经！
然后，“观看”了满久的，才肯退。
无聊的废材。
然后，7点了，他们要走了。
没办法，我跟他们一起回到 tesco.
然后，我妈驾车。
我已经知道在那之后等着我的是什么。
我妈一定会说什么，
“你看你朋友多么大人！”
“你看你自己还像个小孩！”
“学他们！温柔一点！”
“不要再酱了！”
哇，还果然给我猜中了。
全数说完出来。
那么，我也想要回他。
“每个人都有小孩子的时候。”
“我只是在他们面前才会酱而已。”
“我只是做回自己，而且，你说看到的不是一切。”
“什么叫做我不要酱？你怎么知道他们喜欢的是否就是这样的我？”
但我立不吭声。
为何？
“解释反而显得做作。”
就这样，
我在家中的位置，
都没了。
自由，在哪？
空间，在哪？
正义，在哪？
现在，连我的房间，
已经变成了我哥未来的房间。
我就暂睡在我家的 sofa 上。
整整一个月。
用了我东西，有说谢谢吗？
叫我做事，有真心感谢吗？
说错了我，有向我道歉吗？
把从前想了一遍
谢谢了 伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声 听了都不冷
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
唉。
谁能告诉我，
这世上，
我能栖息的地方，
到底在哪？
我想要的自由，
我想要的快乐，
我想要的平静，
存在吗？
我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨 我早应该割舍
我要快乐 哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的 全都是假的
我的决定是对的
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
SAYONARA MORAL!!!
Insert: 平常心 (By A-Mei)
This song is SO GOOD.
Especially for somebody that need coolness (平静) after the long stress of...
MORAL.
Yes, I choose to forget (我选择忘记).
Goodbye my moral.
Goodbye my long time enemy.
I hate you, and I'm free 50% because of you.
I don't need to memorize you anymore.
I don't need to put you in my memory anymore.
I can finally get rid of you.
I'm telling you this, my good friends who followed my blog.
I hate moral.
I never ever followed one of the stupid NILAIS it wants us to remember.
And now, I shall tell you how I did not follow.
And for the last time, I'm going to type all the nilai out.
- Kepercayaan kepada Tuhan
Dude, I never really pray to the "Sky". And I don't really have a kepercayaan. I have MULTI. If you really want me to state one, I only have a goddess. And that's not the "Sky".
- Amanah
Ehh? You think I'm a responsible child who never do bad things behind my families' eyes? No. And NEVER. And to add on to that point, I STEAL my mother's $$$ for my own happiness. And yes, they DO owe me that. In my mind. Mwahaha~
- Harga Diri
I did not jaga my image that much, don't I? I always act crazy and all, and NEVER EVER care about my image. Because, that will not be ME, and I just want to be ME, the CRAZY ME. So yeah, out you Harga Diri.
- Bertanggungjawab
Once again, I'm not a good child. I never did the homeworks that the teachers gave to me, I never listen to the teachers, and no, I did not jaga baik the tables and chairs. Thank you.
- Hemah Tinggi
Believe me, everyone in this earth DO NOT have this nilai. Especially when they learn how to say the word "FUCK".
- Toleransi
Oh no, I DO NOT tolerate idiotic and annoying people like... KKS. The SQUARE ASS. Uhuh. Or rather, the most annoying fella in the whole wide world, ANG.
- Berdikari
Even if I am, no one acknowledge me as an independent person. Especially in this damned family.
- Kerajinan
Once again, I am SO NOT RAJIN. I am LAZY!!! Muhahahaha~~~
- Kasih Sayang
Ehh, I'm loving and caring? I don't think so. If I'm really that, I've already donated my whole house of money to the poors and the livings. And, I love violence. So, no kasih no sayang for me.
- Keadilan
I have justice? No. And I must tell, that there's no justice in this world. And I've seen that in my family. Uhuh.
- Rasional
Me? Rational? That's the last thing you'll heard from me.
- Kesederhanaan
Wakaka~ I don't care about other people's importance~ I'm SELFISH!!! Especially towards my family, thank you!
- Kasih Sayang terhadap Keluarga
No way. Never in any way. Just, NO.
- Hormat dan Taat kepada Anggota Keluarga
Again, no way.
- Mengekalkan Tradisi Kekeluargaan
Never do it. No.
- Tanggungjawab terhadap Keluarga
Tanggungjawab towards myself? Yes. Tanggungjawab to them? Go die.
- Menyayangi dan Menghargai Alam Sekitar
I never had the realize to love the nature. If 2012 is going to come, then come! I'm not afraid anyway. People are going to die anyways.
- Keharmonian antara Manusia dengan Alam Sekitar
Err... Not sure what's this harmony between the humans and the AS, so... Basically, I don't care. And I love harmony between the space and the humans more than the nature.
- Kemapanan Alam Sekitar
Ehh~ I don't like these tanggungjawab. Don't push it to me!
- Peka terhadap Isu-Isu Alam Sekitar
Huh? Where got banjir? Where got drought? What?! We're going to fall??? Ahhh~ (Basically, I don't care about isu2 alam sekitar)
- Cinta Akan Negara
NO WAY. There's no way in the earth or the sky I'm going to love my own country. It SUCKS. Sorry you government people, but I seriously hate you all. Thank you.
- Hormat dan Taat kepada Raja dan Negara
I don't even know who's our current raja, so how can I hormat him?
- Sanggup Berkorban untuk Negara
No. There's no way I'm going to korban my computer, or any of my mangas, or any of my money, for the government. No. Way.
- Melindungi Hak Kanak-Kanak
I'm not yet an adult, and no one lindungi my hak. So, no.
- Menghormati Hak Wanita
You know those foul words out there? Those chinese foul words? Those what-Hai and CB and those stuffs? Yeah, THOSE. And FYI, for women, those are insultments. But yet, most people uses it. Wonder why...? And they say they menghormati hak wanita. Uhuh. And I can't do anything about it. Haiz.
- Melindungi Hak Pekerja
Never acknowledge the works of the teachers. Especially that SL. OR the cleaners in the school. Because they never did the jobs right.
- Menghormati Hak Kurang Upaya
I didn't do anything to protect the rights for the OKU, because I just see those people park on the OKU places just like that. Haha?
- Melindungi Hak Individu
Heck, I never care of the other people's importance, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO MONEY. And especially they're total STRANGERS. I LOVE to exploit them. Mwahaha?
- Mematuhi Peraturan dan Undang-undang
Mwahahahaha~ You see those rubbish along the street? 10% of those is my work. Thank you~ (Is that something to be proud of???)
- Kebebasan Bersuara
I don't have the kebebasan AT ALL in my house. So, no. And I love to shut some certain person's mouth for my own sake. Mwahaha...
- Kebebasan Beragama
Is there a kebebasan of beragama in here? I don't see it. Because, Adam just don't get his kebebasan of leaving Islam, just because this is Malaysia. And when you're married to an Islam, you are an Islam, and your child will be an Islam, even if they do not wanted to.
- Penglibatan Diri dalam Pembangunan Negara
I'm so not going to menglibatkan diri in this damned country. SO NOT GOING TO. I'm going out from this country, thank you. And what the heck is Perlembagaan M'***??? I so don't get it.
- Sikap Keterbukaan
Bersedia to give comments? Yeah. Bersedia to accept them? Yeah. But mengikuti the norma of our people? No. We use vulgar words. We use so much stuffs that most people can't accept them. And that's not part of this nilai. Mwahaha?
- Hidup Bersama Secara Aman
That's one thing that never going to happen. Especially with my family. No aman for me. NO PEACE AT ALL. In this neighborhood, there's so much noises. And no, that's not peace.
- Saling Membantu dan Bekerjasama
Sometimes, I just can't find myself to bekerjasama. So, no.
- Saling Menghormati Antara Negara
Sorry, but I don't even respect my own country, so seriously not our neighbor country too, I********.
Phew, 36 nilai. And violating every and single one of those.
Good job me! (Eh???)
So finally, I can have a serene time,
Without memorizing those nilai,
Slowly get them out from my mind,
Drinking PLAIN WATER,
And enjoy all my superb musics.
Mwahahahaha~
(MV: Aren't you forgetting that you still need to read Science?)
...Shit.
This song is SO GOOD.
Especially for somebody that need coolness (平静) after the long stress of...
MORAL.
Yes, I choose to forget (我选择忘记).
Goodbye my moral.
Goodbye my long time enemy.
I hate you, and I'm free 50% because of you.
I don't need to memorize you anymore.
I don't need to put you in my memory anymore.
I can finally get rid of you.
I'm telling you this, my good friends who followed my blog.
I hate moral.
I never ever followed one of the stupid NILAIS it wants us to remember.
And now, I shall tell you how I did not follow.
And for the last time, I'm going to type all the nilai out.
- Kepercayaan kepada Tuhan
Dude, I never really pray to the "Sky". And I don't really have a kepercayaan. I have MULTI. If you really want me to state one, I only have a goddess. And that's not the "Sky".
- Amanah
Ehh? You think I'm a responsible child who never do bad things behind my families' eyes? No. And NEVER. And to add on to that point, I STEAL my mother's $$$ for my own happiness. And yes, they DO owe me that. In my mind. Mwahaha~
- Harga Diri
I did not jaga my image that much, don't I? I always act crazy and all, and NEVER EVER care about my image. Because, that will not be ME, and I just want to be ME, the CRAZY ME. So yeah, out you Harga Diri.
- Bertanggungjawab
Once again, I'm not a good child. I never did the homeworks that the teachers gave to me, I never listen to the teachers, and no, I did not jaga baik the tables and chairs. Thank you.
- Hemah Tinggi
Believe me, everyone in this earth DO NOT have this nilai. Especially when they learn how to say the word "FUCK".
- Toleransi
Oh no, I DO NOT tolerate idiotic and annoying people like... KKS. The SQUARE ASS. Uhuh. Or rather, the most annoying fella in the whole wide world, ANG.
- Berdikari
Even if I am, no one acknowledge me as an independent person. Especially in this damned family.
- Kerajinan
Once again, I am SO NOT RAJIN. I am LAZY!!! Muhahahaha~~~
- Kasih Sayang
Ehh, I'm loving and caring? I don't think so. If I'm really that, I've already donated my whole house of money to the poors and the livings. And, I love violence. So, no kasih no sayang for me.
- Keadilan
I have justice? No. And I must tell, that there's no justice in this world. And I've seen that in my family. Uhuh.
- Rasional
Me? Rational? That's the last thing you'll heard from me.
- Kesederhanaan
Wakaka~ I don't care about other people's importance~ I'm SELFISH!!! Especially towards my family, thank you!
- Kasih Sayang terhadap Keluarga
No way. Never in any way. Just, NO.
- Hormat dan Taat kepada Anggota Keluarga
Again, no way.
- Mengekalkan Tradisi Kekeluargaan
Never do it. No.
- Tanggungjawab terhadap Keluarga
Tanggungjawab towards myself? Yes. Tanggungjawab to them? Go die.
- Menyayangi dan Menghargai Alam Sekitar
I never had the realize to love the nature. If 2012 is going to come, then come! I'm not afraid anyway. People are going to die anyways.
- Keharmonian antara Manusia dengan Alam Sekitar
Err... Not sure what's this harmony between the humans and the AS, so... Basically, I don't care. And I love harmony between the space and the humans more than the nature.
- Kemapanan Alam Sekitar
Ehh~ I don't like these tanggungjawab. Don't push it to me!
- Peka terhadap Isu-Isu Alam Sekitar
Huh? Where got banjir? Where got drought? What?! We're going to fall??? Ahhh~ (Basically, I don't care about isu2 alam sekitar)
- Cinta Akan Negara
NO WAY. There's no way in the earth or the sky I'm going to love my own country. It SUCKS. Sorry you government people, but I seriously hate you all. Thank you.
- Hormat dan Taat kepada Raja dan Negara
I don't even know who's our current raja, so how can I hormat him?
- Sanggup Berkorban untuk Negara
No. There's no way I'm going to korban my computer, or any of my mangas, or any of my money, for the government. No. Way.
- Melindungi Hak Kanak-Kanak
I'm not yet an adult, and no one lindungi my hak. So, no.
- Menghormati Hak Wanita
You know those foul words out there? Those chinese foul words? Those what-Hai and CB and those stuffs? Yeah, THOSE. And FYI, for women, those are insultments. But yet, most people uses it. Wonder why...? And they say they menghormati hak wanita. Uhuh. And I can't do anything about it. Haiz.
- Melindungi Hak Pekerja
Never acknowledge the works of the teachers. Especially that SL. OR the cleaners in the school. Because they never did the jobs right.
- Menghormati Hak Kurang Upaya
I didn't do anything to protect the rights for the OKU, because I just see those people park on the OKU places just like that. Haha?
- Melindungi Hak Individu
Heck, I never care of the other people's importance, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO MONEY. And especially they're total STRANGERS. I LOVE to exploit them. Mwahaha?
- Mematuhi Peraturan dan Undang-undang
Mwahahahaha~ You see those rubbish along the street? 10% of those is my work. Thank you~ (Is that something to be proud of???)
- Kebebasan Bersuara
I don't have the kebebasan AT ALL in my house. So, no. And I love to shut some certain person's mouth for my own sake. Mwahaha...
- Kebebasan Beragama
Is there a kebebasan of beragama in here? I don't see it. Because, Adam just don't get his kebebasan of leaving Islam, just because this is Malaysia. And when you're married to an Islam, you are an Islam, and your child will be an Islam, even if they do not wanted to.
- Penglibatan Diri dalam Pembangunan Negara
I'm so not going to menglibatkan diri in this damned country. SO NOT GOING TO. I'm going out from this country, thank you. And what the heck is Perlembagaan M'***??? I so don't get it.
- Sikap Keterbukaan
Bersedia to give comments? Yeah. Bersedia to accept them? Yeah. But mengikuti the norma of our people? No. We use vulgar words. We use so much stuffs that most people can't accept them. And that's not part of this nilai. Mwahaha?
- Hidup Bersama Secara Aman
That's one thing that never going to happen. Especially with my family. No aman for me. NO PEACE AT ALL. In this neighborhood, there's so much noises. And no, that's not peace.
- Saling Membantu dan Bekerjasama
Sometimes, I just can't find myself to bekerjasama. So, no.
- Saling Menghormati Antara Negara
Sorry, but I don't even respect my own country, so seriously not our neighbor country too, I********.
Phew, 36 nilai. And violating every and single one of those.
Good job me! (Eh???)
So finally, I can have a serene time,
Without memorizing those nilai,
Slowly get them out from my mind,
Drinking PLAIN WATER,
And enjoy all my superb musics.
Mwahahahaha~
(MV: Aren't you forgetting that you still need to read Science?)
...Shit.
Friday, November 20, 2009
:: 多いさしぶりですだ！Aries ::
Insert: Saikyou Pare Parade (Suzumiya Haruhi... song? XD Forgot from which album. Lalala~)
Today is the end of EST...
No, not yet SPM.
And...
I found out that I'm really carefree about SPM here...
I JUST CAN'T TREAT IT AS A REAL EXAM!!!
I JUST KEPT ON TREAT IT AS NORMAL EXAM!!!
WHAT SHOULD I DO~~~
>w<
I know.
Retarded.
But who cares~
I'm happy here~
Nyahahahaha~~~
Okay.
I am retard.
Acknowledged.
Well... Many happened these days and the yadda-yadda-yadda...
The most frustrating thing that happened to me now is that...
My nephew is born!
Yes?
No?
Happy?
Sad?
Not sure...
But it's sure a HUGE problem for me.
You see.
Because of the baby,
Everyone changed their places of sleep.
I'm taking the living room for the past 3 days.
Reason?
My parents are sleeping in MY ROOM.
I mean...
WHO WANTS TO SHARE A ROOM WITH THEM?!?!
SO FREAKING ANNOYING!!!!
>w<
No, and no way I'm going to do that.
And so...
I end up staying in the living room.
Nyahaha~
It wasn't that bad, I had to admit.
Better than sleeping with them, that is. =w=
Oh, and you know when the baby is brought to the house?
Right before the first day of my PRECIOUS SPM.
Nya.
It sucks.
Really.
Not because that he's noisy.
It's because we need to change our usual places for sleep.
Jeeeeeeeeee~~~
And from now on until they renovate the house,
I need to sleep with my bro.
>w<
I so do not like it.
Datte... Otoko da... >w>
If it's Kou, it's different.
But this is my brother.
So...
=w=
Haiz...
Whatever!
I'm going to have fun here!
Screw SPM! OAo
Okay, maybe not.
But now...
Just let me have some fun...
Eheheh~
I DID have fun with...
あたしのご主人様～
Maa... Although I'm the only one having fun though.
At least I think so.
>w<
Whatever~~~
I'm going to play the whole day night~~~
NYAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~
Today is the end of EST...
No, not yet SPM.
And...
I found out that I'm really carefree about SPM here...
I JUST CAN'T TREAT IT AS A REAL EXAM!!!
I JUST KEPT ON TREAT IT AS NORMAL EXAM!!!
WHAT SHOULD I DO~~~
>w<
I know.
Retarded.
But who cares~
I'm happy here~
Nyahahahaha~~~
Okay.
I am retard.
Acknowledged.
Well... Many happened these days and the yadda-yadda-yadda...
The most frustrating thing that happened to me now is that...
My nephew is born!
Yes?
No?
Happy?
Sad?
Not sure...
But it's sure a HUGE problem for me.
You see.
Because of the baby,
Everyone changed their places of sleep.
I'm taking the living room for the past 3 days.
Reason?
My parents are sleeping in MY ROOM.
I mean...
WHO WANTS TO SHARE A ROOM WITH THEM?!?!
SO FREAKING ANNOYING!!!!
>w<
No, and no way I'm going to do that.
And so...
I end up staying in the living room.
Nyahaha~
It wasn't that bad, I had to admit.
Better than sleeping with them, that is. =w=
Oh, and you know when the baby is brought to the house?
Right before the first day of my PRECIOUS SPM.
Nya.
It sucks.
Really.
Not because that he's noisy.
It's because we need to change our usual places for sleep.
Jeeeeeeeeee~~~
And from now on until they renovate the house,
I need to sleep with my bro.
>w<
I so do not like it.
Datte... Otoko da... >w>
If it's Kou, it's different.
But this is my brother.
So...
=w=
Haiz...
Whatever!
I'm going to have fun here!
Screw SPM! OAo
Okay, maybe not.
But now...
Just let me have some fun...
Eheheh~
I DID have fun with...
あたしのご主人様～
Maa... Although I'm the only one having fun though.
At least I think so.
>w<
Whatever~~~
I'm going to play the whole day night~~~
NYAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~
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