:: 気持ち悪いAries Part 2 ::

I'm thinking a lot lately, about my own future...

Should I just be a composer? Or be greedy?
Study as a composer, singing in the night, and work as an accountant in the morning...
Wow, I'm sure greedy, and I sure don't have a time to work on anything else. Haha.
And, I will spend my whole day busying about nothing...
Or maybe not, maybe I'll be frustrating, and happy at the same time.
Frustrating about how I can be so busy...
Happy about how much fun I can have in these jobs...

But I can't be all of them at once.
I must choose the best for me.
I can't be greedy.

So, I've decided...
I shall become a composer.
But maybe, at the same time, I will sing.
A compose singer? XD
Okay, that's just lame...



But that's not the main part of my most frustrating stuffs, actually...

The most frustrating stuff of all is actually my family, and nothing more can compare to this damn stupid stuff.

Just because they're blood linked to me.
Just because we live together under the same roof.
Just because I'm the youngest amongst all of them.

Not even the friend's problem is actually affecting me that much. I can always get other fun to ignore those pains or frustrating stuffs that they did towards me.
Or perhaps, it's because I'm actually alone in the first place.

When I'm alone here, nothing is bounded towards me. I do not need to obey anyone, I do not need to care about anyone, just me, alone.
But when I'm with my friends, I do have the obligate to follow their likes, to help them out, just because they're my friends.

Though, seriously, I found it frustrating.

Why must I follow their likes even if I do not have a liking in that specific thing?
Why must I help them out even if I'm actually not good in that kind of thing?

I do not know. I'm just bounded to do so, even without going through my thoughts the body just moved on it's own. To help them, to follow them.
And yet, some just thought that I'm stupid, and doesn't really appreciate it.



Oh well. Guess I'll be alone again when I've graduated from this cursed school. Maybe, in certain way, it'll be the best for me. I don't need anyone to help me out anyway. Because, I know, even if I asked for, they'll use various reasons to keep them out from this kind of trouble. So why even bother to ask?

Of course, that only applies to SOME, and VERY FEW people. Not all people are capable to help me out anyway. So I don't even really bother to ask for their helps, actually.



Geh, guess I can see how I spend the rest of my lives...
Alone, eating Maggie-Mee...
Listening to the music...
Looking at the screen...
Reading manga on one hand...
And mouse on the other hand...

Hmm... That's really a good image... XD
Darn, I'm really sarcastic. Heh.

Oh well...
Not like I really care anyway.
Since I can be very dependent if I'm with another people...
But very independent if I'm alone...

Of course, none knows these.
Because I'm alone, who else can see the fact of it?

Heh... Whatever...