Insert: Pride of Glory (by Mizuki Nana)
‘Kay. I really hate my family. My parents. My siblings.
All of them
Hate.
Hate.
Hate.
Nikui.
Kirai.
Koroshitai.
Nani mo nai.
Tada atashi hitori.
Every and each of them are tricksters.
Hate.
Hate.
Hate.
Why do I hate them?
Thanks to my good-for-nothing sis-in-law,
As she’s going to give birth to a niece or a nephew,
I’m going to be force out from this big room,
Where I can originally planned this place out from my blueprint.
But now, my hopes are all gone.
My damned parents – no,
To be exact, my mom.
Her determination of letting my bro into this big room.
Where can I live from now on?
That wretched place of his.
Okay, fine.
Since I’m able to use the internet for days and weeks without his damned permission anymore.
But no.
That’s not the point.
What about my stuffs?
My books, and equipments, my keyboard, my clothes?
Heck, I have no place to put ‘em anymore.
Where will they go?
80%, the storeroom.
Great. Very, great.
My mangas.
My reference.
My music books.
All gone into the storeroom.
Then, my future drum set?
Gone, too.
Not enough space, as said.
So how?
Can I move out?
No.
“Wah, you got wings already la?
Can fly already la?”
Yeah, so how?!
What’s wrong with that?!
Do you have a damned problem?!
Okay, let’s say.
I have the money problem.
Dude, I can do part times!
I’m not a damn kid anymore!
Then, food problem, you say?
Heck, I can cook that good-for-nothing Soba by myself!
Just for once of failure!
What’s next? Cleaning?
Hell, I can clean it myself.
I don’t need you to do it for me.
I don’t care if it’s only me.
I JUST WANT TO BE DAMNED ALONE FROM YOU ALL!!!
FOR GODDESS SAKE!!!
Then, what I’m going to study?
Music.
Okay, fine.
Teacher suggested me to study here first before going elsewhere,
Then since I’m going to study arrangements and composings,
He suggested me to take that piano up to my room,
And learn the drums.
No.
Nonono.
Why?
Because I’m going to give out my big room, and I do not have space anymore.
And if that’s not the main reason, then this is:
“The piano is hard to carry up! We need to hire pros.”
Then hire la dammit!!!
If you do not want to give up a single penny, then fine.
I’ll do it.
Even when I’ve loss my RM63+- to pay up for that damned broken bottle,
Even when I’ve given up my RM900 for that bass,
I’m still willing to hiring people to get that piano up.
SO THAT I DON’T NEED TO SEE YOUR DAMNED FACE,
EVERYTIME I PLAY.
SO THAT I DON’T NEED YOUR DAMNED PERMISSION,
EVERYTIME I PLAY.
SO THAT I DON’T NEED TO HOLD BACK,
EVERYTIME I PLAY.
So that I can be alone.
Yes, the main reason.
And so, my mum was like making a big fuss.
“Study music, so troublesome.
Need to buy this buy that.
Do this do that.
Your brother and sister don’t even need all of these!
Just go and study accounts then can already!”
Yeah, right!
Then why on the first place you put me for taking piano courses?
Then why on the first place you wanted me to be a musician?
A music teacher?
Blah, blah, blah?!
Then when I want to be in econ classes, you’re making another fuss?!
And now, thanks to that I’m good in accounting,
you want me to take accounting?!
So that I can help the family out?!
By when I decided to study fully in music?!?!
To be exact, from the beginning…
YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE INTERFERE IN WHATEVER I WANTED.
YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE INFLUENCE IN WHATEVER I LIKED.
YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE ALL OF THOSE.
AND MADE ME WHAT I AM NOW.
And thanks to your overprotective,
You made me what you can’t believe now.
A useless human, who can’t do housechores, who can’t cook,
Who can do nothing but making a fuss.
Who’s fault is that to blame?
Who’s responsible when they restrict the person to do so?
Who’s the wrong over here?
Why can’t you be a lil’ open up and let me do whatever I wanted?
But not whatever YOU wanted?
Why can’t you do that?
No.
No one, none parents, in this world, would do so.
They would try to restrict, and force their child to do else stuffs.
There’s no such parent that could even 100% understood their children.
No, and never.
Trust me.
BECAUSE THEY JUST LIKE TO CONTROL.
BECAUSE THEY JUST LIKE TO MAKE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE.
BECAUSE OF THEIR DAMNED STYLE OF LOVE.
BECAUSE THEY JUST BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES.
NOT THEIR CHILD.
NOT THE TEACHERS.
NOT THE PROS.
NOT THE TRUTH.
BUT ONLY THEM AND ONLY THEMSELVES.
AND THEY DO NOT THINK OF THE TRUE SEQUENCES,
OF WHAT THEY'RE DOING,
TOWARDS US.
TOWARDS THEIR CHILD.
AND WHAT’S GOING TO BE OF THEIR CHILD.
No, and never.
Seriously, get a damned life!
You’ll be absolutely okay without me, right?
Why should you even care for it?
I don’t care about you anyway?!
Hell, don’t interfere with my life!!
How I will become is all my doing, not yours!
I don’t need your help.
I don’t need explain to you.
I don’t need YOU.
Just GDFDGTHD!!!!!!
GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Yet.
I can't stand up against them.
I can't tell them how much I hate them.
Why?
Perhaps I'm kind.
Perhaps I'm just a good kid.
But I know the main reason.
I'm a coward.
I knew that all along.
And that's why, I just chose to remain silence.
Even though they said the wrong thing,
Even though they misunderstood my true intention,
Even though they assumed that I'm like that,
Even though...
I nothing like that at all.
And so, I remain silence.
But then, they would scold me for remain silence.
Then how 'bout I talk back towards them?
They would scold even much.
And they would say...
“你越长越大，越来越不礼貌。”
Uhuh.
So that's how you see me eh?
No matter how much I follow what you told me to do eh?
And so I did.
And this is what I get?
Good.
Perfectly good.
I can still remember that day when my sister said this.
“你没有立场说话。”
Huh.
Then I wished to say.
If I'm not in the position to talk,
Then what is your position to say about me?
But I did not say a word.
Just because I'm afraid...
Or perhaps, I just don't feel like talking back to these idiots...
Because they just won't understand a single thing that I said.
Because they just won't consider whatever that I've said.
Because they just won't LISTEN.
And so, again, I remain silence.
They said silence is bliss.
Well, at least my friends said that >w>
And so, I will remain silence.
Even when they asked of me, I will not say a word.
Until they really forced me to it.
Or...
Maybe I will say a lil'.
The me lately.
Maybe I've grew with some courage inside of me.
Thanks to Kou and Yuki, perhaps?
Since they encourage me to talk? =w=
Uhuh...
Or perhaps not.
Perhaps I'm just... Rebellious since I am born to this world.
But I just don't have the opportunity to talk about it.
Hmm...
Either way, I'm just dislike this family.
More to the level of HATE.
Phew...
I talked a lot.
I mean, I wrote a lot.
Yet, it's not the end of the story.
Behind this wretched family that I'm born into.
Peace out at the moment...
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