Insert: Transparent (Phantom -Requiem for the Phantom- 2nd OP)
他根本就不在乎你嘛。
干吗还要继续为他付出呢？
就因为对他的思念？
就因为对他的痴情？
就因为对他的爱？
很不明白。
明明是一个不爱你的人，
明明是一个不在乎你的人，
明明是一个对你的死活都不关心的人，
为何还要对他那么好？
他只是在玩你，你看不出吗？
Is love really that blind?
Or we’re just pretending that we do not know anything?
Ignoring and just kept on ignoring.
Even if one really hates you,
Or don’t even acknowledge your presence?
これは最大の嘘だ！
これは最大のトラップだ！
何故お前が解んないの？！
愛、だから、ですか？
唯その理由ですか？！
唯その、馬鹿の理由ですか？！
そんなの物、食べにできるか？！
そんなの物、本とに幸せに有るのか？！
お前より、唯最大の苦しみだろう？！
だったなら、何故？！
何故まだあいつを愛して、気にって、欲しいって？！
It’s just an illusion!
A lie!!
The most foolish feel of all!!!
Why can’t you understand?!
Why are you still in this kind of mess?!
Why don’t you open up your eyes and take a good look at all of this?!
Are you really that stupid,
Or you’re just really that naïve?!
ARGH!!!
---
快断的红线
Genre: Sad Rock
Tone: Confused, anger, sadist
Theme: Unrequited love
Instruments: Piano, Electric Guitar, Bass, Drum
Vocal: Me, I guess?
挣扎30天
痛苦3个月
以为终于等到了
他的答案
浪费了时间
弃下了逻辑
到头还是得不到
他的心
努力了这么久到头来还是一场空
明明在一起却还是会感到寂寞
独自付出一切真情真意没让他感动
只是留下空白的记忆陪着度过
为什么还不死心
他已经说对你没感情
为什么还在原地你不肯前进
捉住那快断的红线
你是否还在期待他会回头向你微笑
说一切都是个玩笑他在考验你
根本不可能
别在幻想了
别在痴情了
别在等待了
看似两个月
只有两星期
在一起的时间
是多么短暂
所有的感情
所有的过去
就算不再提起
每天在回忆
消遣了这么多时间歇斯底里为他想
偏偏他就对你的死活默不关心
曾经好几次都反复想要和他开口
但是就在最后关头你却在摇头
为什么说不出口
“分手”二字有何多痛苦？
为何不要一次过结束这难过
斩断那快断的红线
不要再为他顾虑这么多，马上放手
他不值得你再等候，大步向前走
但是不可能
没勇气放手
不想要放手
不舍得放手
过去的记忆
像CD Repeating
就算不去回忆
还是不停
清晰的旋律
荡漾在脑海里
幻想出的甜蜜
已经没心情再继续
为何还死心塌地
他不是说对你没感情？
为什么不要结束内心的折磨
看着那快断的红线
你是否在希望有奇迹出现把它填补
不理谁的阻扰劝阻继续在等待
就因为你不舍得
所以继续折腾你自己
就因为不想放弃选择了等待
追逐那快断的红线
不管他前面的路多么难受多么辛苦
你就是要走完这段非一般的旅途
不想要放弃
不想要放手
不肯向前走
因为还是爱着他
Monday, October 5, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
:: ドキドキしちゃう Aries Part 13 ::
Insert: 我可以抱你嗎 (by A-Mei)
I don’t get it.
I just don’t get it.
Why are you so cold?
Why do you looked like as if you dislike me?
I’m not sure.
I’m unconfirmed.
I’ve done so much thinking that I just don’t get it.
Just… Why…?
Is it just because of exam?
Or there are other reasons that you couldn’t say to me?
I just wanted to know, what is really wrong?
Is it my fault? Or other stuffs?
Is it personal? Or it’s work?
If it’s my fault, I will try to not do it again.
If it’s not my fault, I wish I could help you.
My heart is slowly being torn into pieces by your attitudes.
I just couldn’t understand.
I nearly show my true emotions to my friends,
When I shouldn’t, because it’s just not me if I’m like that.
And they thought I’m angry of them.
Although, yes,
I’m kinda angry if they’re trying to play me now.
But, it’s just not normal for me to just be angry like that.
“不勉強你再為了我 心不在 留不留都是痛”
Haiz…
I’m just so afraid…
If you’re just playing with me…
If you do not see me as a lover…
Just a normal person, or even a stranger.
But I’m utmost afraid…
If you hate me.
But if you really hate me, I can do nothing about it, right?
There’s no way to tell you to not hate me.
Even I’m not that afraid if you’re not really in love with me.
I mean…
Being hate by your loved one,
Is the most painful thing in the world…
Right?
I don’t even care about whether I could understand you 100% now.
I just want you to tell me, whether you hate me or not.
Although, you did say that you do not hate me.
I’m quite happy by that.
But…
I’m just scared…
That you will someday…
So… Can you tell me?
The reasons that you act like this towards me?
Just…
Why…?
“你也不得已 我會笑笑的離去”
I don’t get it.
I just don’t get it.
Why are you so cold?
Why do you looked like as if you dislike me?
I’m not sure.
I’m unconfirmed.
I’ve done so much thinking that I just don’t get it.
Just… Why…?
Is it just because of exam?
Or there are other reasons that you couldn’t say to me?
I just wanted to know, what is really wrong?
Is it my fault? Or other stuffs?
Is it personal? Or it’s work?
If it’s my fault, I will try to not do it again.
If it’s not my fault, I wish I could help you.
My heart is slowly being torn into pieces by your attitudes.
I just couldn’t understand.
I nearly show my true emotions to my friends,
When I shouldn’t, because it’s just not me if I’m like that.
And they thought I’m angry of them.
Although, yes,
I’m kinda angry if they’re trying to play me now.
But, it’s just not normal for me to just be angry like that.
“不勉強你再為了我 心不在 留不留都是痛”
Haiz…
I’m just so afraid…
If you’re just playing with me…
If you do not see me as a lover…
Just a normal person, or even a stranger.
But I’m utmost afraid…
If you hate me.
But if you really hate me, I can do nothing about it, right?
There’s no way to tell you to not hate me.
Even I’m not that afraid if you’re not really in love with me.
I mean…
Being hate by your loved one,
Is the most painful thing in the world…
Right?
I don’t even care about whether I could understand you 100% now.
I just want you to tell me, whether you hate me or not.
Although, you did say that you do not hate me.
I’m quite happy by that.
But…
I’m just scared…
That you will someday…
So… Can you tell me?
The reasons that you act like this towards me?
Just…
Why…?
“你也不得已 我會笑笑的離去”
:: 気持ち最大悪いAries Part 6 ::
It’s just the next day.
The fuckers are telling me the same thing.
AGAIN.
WTF?!
There’s a reason I say that “I know”.
There’s a reason I say repeat the same 2 words.
Because I’ve already known.
So don’t even start to say a thing.
Don’t even try to repeat what you’re going to say.
There’re all in my mind.
I’ve known what you’re going to say.
So save your energy, never say it out.
Because I don’t want to listen a damn thing that you’re going to say.
And that, ruined my mood.
I wanted to watch TV.
But since they talked as if they’re so great.
Fine, let them play mah-joung there.
I go up.
I go post this thing in my blog.
Unleash my emotions and let them go wild.
I’m on the edge now.
But you will never know.
Until I scream it out loud.
In your face.
The fuckers are telling me the same thing.
AGAIN.
WTF?!
There’s a reason I say that “I know”.
There’s a reason I say repeat the same 2 words.
Because I’ve already known.
So don’t even start to say a thing.
Don’t even try to repeat what you’re going to say.
There’re all in my mind.
I’ve known what you’re going to say.
So save your energy, never say it out.
Because I don’t want to listen a damn thing that you’re going to say.
And that, ruined my mood.
I wanted to watch TV.
But since they talked as if they’re so great.
Fine, let them play mah-joung there.
I go up.
I go post this thing in my blog.
Unleash my emotions and let them go wild.
I’m on the edge now.
But you will never know.
Until I scream it out loud.
In your face.
:: 気持ち最大悪いAries Part 5 ::
Insert: Get the Future (by Takahashi Hitomi)
This world has no justice.
Since the day I grew up in this family, I understood this concept of life.
My family treat me like a fool, although I really WAS a fool.
But now I’m an adult.
Can’t they treat me better?
I admit. I’m wrong.
I admit. I’m noisy.
I admit. I’m inconsiderate.
But does that means that you are not?
Does that means that you can just defy my actions?
Does that means that you understood my actions?
Does that means that you have the right to critisize my actions?
When you are actually messing up my place just for your selfishness?
When you are actually ORDERING me to do stuffs for your playfulness?
When you are actually the one that’s WRONG?!
And my brain is none for your insultments.
I have absolutely nothing in intelligence for you to insult.
I am a little slow, yes, but that does not means that I do not know what to do.
So can you please SHUT UP and let me do what I want?
I already tell you I want to leave this house.
I already tell you I can be on my own.
But you insisted to want me be in this house.
But you insisted that I couldn’t take care of myself.
And now you’re telling me I’m noisy?
While you already knew what will happen if you insisted that I’m going to stay here?
And now you’re critisizing me how to take care of myself?
While you never even let me do it?
It was just a game, alright?
Mah-Jong, to be exact.
I know how to play, from the start.
Is just that YOU are the one that ASSUMED that I do not know a single thing.
So I proved that I know the general knowledge.
And what the heck, you praise me as if I’ve got a prize.
It’s just a general knowledge, dude!!
How can it be so hard???
Am I really that brainless in your mind?
But you know what, to me, you are the brainless one.
I’m just playing, training my brain.
You’re there telling me, what to throw and what to eat.
AS IF I REALLY DON’T KNOW.
AS IF I REALLY NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE.
So much things that you have done, in just a short one hour length.
You have critisize me at least 2 times in a game.
You have mocked me at least 3 times in a game.
In total, I could not count but, if one game is 5 minutes, you have already…
Critisize me 24 times.
Mocked me 36 times.
In 12 games.
And what’s next?
You’re going to “teach” me.
Hell, I can be a better teacher than you.
I’m just giving you face, okay.
Don’t think I’m really that stupid, would you?
Just that you’re better than I am, doesn’t mean that you can critisize my actions.
Just because you think that I am a fool, doesn’t mean that I am really a fool.
I can be smarter than you.
I can be richer than you.
I can be anything BETTER than you.
If I want to.
You know, you can be such a JERK some times.
If you weren’t my blood-related family, I’ve already wanted to say this phrase in your face.
“Shut the fuck up, would you?!”
And seriously, I’m on the borderline to yell out this phrase.
This exact phrase.
Although I have yelled for millions of times in my heart.
Just to give you some prides you need as my elders.
I respect you.
But what you’ve done had made me losing the respect.
Each step going down the stairs.
I’m starting to hate you.
To dispise you.
To leave you.
To do whatever that opposes you.
Although I oppose the idea of having that baby in my huge room.
But did they listen? No.
I mean, since when they listen to MY OPINION?
They always talked about THEIR OPINION.
And FORCED their opinions on ME.
So what? I’m going out from the room.
What month is that?
About November to December.
What time is that?
My SPM time.
EXACTLY.
So my mom said “Sorry”.
But did that help?
No.
Because I don’t think anyone in the family even felt to say “sorry”.
Because I was so disliked by them.
I don’t care about being disliked.
The world is already unfair anyway.
This is just the beginning.
I know.
What if I’m back to my room?
I’m going to be with the aunty that’s going to take care of the baby.
AND the baby itself.
But I don’t think they WANT me to stay in the room.
Because whatever I do, is no way good for the baby.
So where I’m going to stay then?
In my parents room.
Along with them.
HECK.
You know what?
Sleeping in the living room’s sofa is far much better than staying in THEIR room.
Imagine my dad’s bomb in the night.
Imagine my mom’s nagging UNTIL night.
Can I sleep in there?
I don’t think so.
Can I even study?
I can NEVER think so.
That is why I told them I want to move out.
They do not approve.
So?
I’m going to stay here like Harry Potter?
Sleeping in a storeroom?
Well, he’s far more better than I do.
At least he gets a real home later.
Me?
I have nothing.
I have no foster parents to pass a house to me.
I’m no legendary child.
I’m just another normal child with no power, no money, no pride.
Although how much do I protest, nothing will go my way.
Even the choice where I want to go study music?
Is something they WANT ME to be.
It’s nothing they do not want me to be.
But when I’m going to study music technology?
They oppose.
Saying, “I just want you to be a normal music teacher.”
Hell.
Is that going to happen in me?
Never.
Even if I will, it’ll be decades after this.
And what’s worse?
They want to interfere with my hair.
Telling me to cut on THEIR style.
Heck.
I don’t need their fashion senses.
Theirs are the WORST to come by.
I don’t even want to trust them.
They just force everything on me.
I’m not gonna let you do whatever stuff that you want with my life.
No, and NEVER.
Singapore? I’m going.
And that will be the final destination that you fools can control.
I’m going to break free after that.
I’m going to soar higher in the sky.
I’m going to melt the chains that you have put on me, eternally.
And I shall NEVER come back.
Trust. My. Words. People.
This world has no justice.
Since the day I grew up in this family, I understood this concept of life.
My family treat me like a fool, although I really WAS a fool.
But now I’m an adult.
Can’t they treat me better?
I admit. I’m wrong.
I admit. I’m noisy.
I admit. I’m inconsiderate.
But does that means that you are not?
Does that means that you can just defy my actions?
Does that means that you understood my actions?
Does that means that you have the right to critisize my actions?
When you are actually messing up my place just for your selfishness?
When you are actually ORDERING me to do stuffs for your playfulness?
When you are actually the one that’s WRONG?!
And my brain is none for your insultments.
I have absolutely nothing in intelligence for you to insult.
I am a little slow, yes, but that does not means that I do not know what to do.
So can you please SHUT UP and let me do what I want?
I already tell you I want to leave this house.
I already tell you I can be on my own.
But you insisted to want me be in this house.
But you insisted that I couldn’t take care of myself.
And now you’re telling me I’m noisy?
While you already knew what will happen if you insisted that I’m going to stay here?
And now you’re critisizing me how to take care of myself?
While you never even let me do it?
It was just a game, alright?
Mah-Jong, to be exact.
I know how to play, from the start.
Is just that YOU are the one that ASSUMED that I do not know a single thing.
So I proved that I know the general knowledge.
And what the heck, you praise me as if I’ve got a prize.
It’s just a general knowledge, dude!!
How can it be so hard???
Am I really that brainless in your mind?
But you know what, to me, you are the brainless one.
I’m just playing, training my brain.
You’re there telling me, what to throw and what to eat.
AS IF I REALLY DON’T KNOW.
AS IF I REALLY NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE.
So much things that you have done, in just a short one hour length.
You have critisize me at least 2 times in a game.
You have mocked me at least 3 times in a game.
In total, I could not count but, if one game is 5 minutes, you have already…
Critisize me 24 times.
Mocked me 36 times.
In 12 games.
And what’s next?
You’re going to “teach” me.
Hell, I can be a better teacher than you.
I’m just giving you face, okay.
Don’t think I’m really that stupid, would you?
Just that you’re better than I am, doesn’t mean that you can critisize my actions.
Just because you think that I am a fool, doesn’t mean that I am really a fool.
I can be smarter than you.
I can be richer than you.
I can be anything BETTER than you.
If I want to.
You know, you can be such a JERK some times.
If you weren’t my blood-related family, I’ve already wanted to say this phrase in your face.
“Shut the fuck up, would you?!”
And seriously, I’m on the borderline to yell out this phrase.
This exact phrase.
Although I have yelled for millions of times in my heart.
Just to give you some prides you need as my elders.
I respect you.
But what you’ve done had made me losing the respect.
Each step going down the stairs.
I’m starting to hate you.
To dispise you.
To leave you.
To do whatever that opposes you.
Although I oppose the idea of having that baby in my huge room.
But did they listen? No.
I mean, since when they listen to MY OPINION?
They always talked about THEIR OPINION.
And FORCED their opinions on ME.
So what? I’m going out from the room.
What month is that?
About November to December.
What time is that?
My SPM time.
EXACTLY.
So my mom said “Sorry”.
But did that help?
No.
Because I don’t think anyone in the family even felt to say “sorry”.
Because I was so disliked by them.
I don’t care about being disliked.
The world is already unfair anyway.
This is just the beginning.
I know.
What if I’m back to my room?
I’m going to be with the aunty that’s going to take care of the baby.
AND the baby itself.
But I don’t think they WANT me to stay in the room.
Because whatever I do, is no way good for the baby.
So where I’m going to stay then?
In my parents room.
Along with them.
HECK.
You know what?
Sleeping in the living room’s sofa is far much better than staying in THEIR room.
Imagine my dad’s bomb in the night.
Imagine my mom’s nagging UNTIL night.
Can I sleep in there?
I don’t think so.
Can I even study?
I can NEVER think so.
That is why I told them I want to move out.
They do not approve.
So?
I’m going to stay here like Harry Potter?
Sleeping in a storeroom?
Well, he’s far more better than I do.
At least he gets a real home later.
Me?
I have nothing.
I have no foster parents to pass a house to me.
I’m no legendary child.
I’m just another normal child with no power, no money, no pride.
Although how much do I protest, nothing will go my way.
Even the choice where I want to go study music?
Is something they WANT ME to be.
It’s nothing they do not want me to be.
But when I’m going to study music technology?
They oppose.
Saying, “I just want you to be a normal music teacher.”
Hell.
Is that going to happen in me?
Never.
Even if I will, it’ll be decades after this.
And what’s worse?
They want to interfere with my hair.
Telling me to cut on THEIR style.
Heck.
I don’t need their fashion senses.
Theirs are the WORST to come by.
I don’t even want to trust them.
They just force everything on me.
I’m not gonna let you do whatever stuff that you want with my life.
No, and NEVER.
Singapore? I’m going.
And that will be the final destination that you fools can control.
I’m going to break free after that.
I’m going to soar higher in the sky.
I’m going to melt the chains that you have put on me, eternally.
And I shall NEVER come back.
Trust. My. Words. People.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
:: ドキドキしちゃう Aries Part 12 ::
理由は無い。
打电话向和你说话。。。
理由は無い。
如果真得要我讲出一个理由的话。。。
那就是。。。
我想听到你的声音。。。
就是那么简单。。。
就是那么容易。。。
但是。。。
又是最难，最复杂的一件事。。。
很怕你会觉得很闷。。。
很怕你会觉得我很烦。。。
很怕我会让你感到反感。。。
所以，我选择了只说出重点。
那么我的重点呢？
从哪里来？
只有Club 的事情。。。
很少说我的事情。。。
更少说你的事情。。。
因为。。。
我不想要让你烦。。。
你不想要让我知道（？）。。。
所以。。。
我们的距离。。。
越来越远了。。。
随着考试的压力。。。
随着那些人所给的眼光。。。
我。。。
你。。。
越来越远了。。。
这个假期。。。
见不到你。。。
是我最大的难受。。。
打电话给你，本以为可以好过一点。。。
怎知。。。
你的态度是如此的冷漠。。。
可能你不觉得。
但是，
我的心真得很痛。。。
很痛。。。
但是，你说你只想听到重点，那么。。。
我就只说重点好了。
因为你说。。。
你不想要啰里啰唆的事情，很烦。
所以。。。
我苦笑了。
我就也不让你烦。
因为，我不想要你觉得不爽。。。
不想要有看到你为不重要的东西而烦。
所以。。。
我塑短了一天需要和你说话的时间。。。
从2小时30分。。。
变成了2分钟30秒。。。
是没有计算过没错，
但是，我的心情，就像2分钟30秒般。。。
觉得好短。。。
缺少了很多。。。
但是，这未必不是件好事。。。
因为，为了考试而承受着压力的你，
终于有些休息的时间了。。。
我还是不要打扰你吧。。。
ねえ、ご主人様。。。
あたしの気持いは知ってるの？
可能你知道，可能你不知道。。。
但是，
无论你知不知道，
我还是会说一句话。。。
愛している。
打电话向和你说话。。。
理由は無い。
如果真得要我讲出一个理由的话。。。
那就是。。。
我想听到你的声音。。。
就是那么简单。。。
就是那么容易。。。
但是。。。
又是最难，最复杂的一件事。。。
很怕你会觉得很闷。。。
很怕你会觉得我很烦。。。
很怕我会让你感到反感。。。
所以，我选择了只说出重点。
那么我的重点呢？
从哪里来？
只有Club 的事情。。。
很少说我的事情。。。
更少说你的事情。。。
因为。。。
我不想要让你烦。。。
你不想要让我知道（？）。。。
所以。。。
我们的距离。。。
越来越远了。。。
随着考试的压力。。。
随着那些人所给的眼光。。。
我。。。
你。。。
越来越远了。。。
这个假期。。。
见不到你。。。
是我最大的难受。。。
打电话给你，本以为可以好过一点。。。
怎知。。。
你的态度是如此的冷漠。。。
可能你不觉得。
但是，
我的心真得很痛。。。
很痛。。。
但是，你说你只想听到重点，那么。。。
我就只说重点好了。
因为你说。。。
你不想要啰里啰唆的事情，很烦。
所以。。。
我苦笑了。
我就也不让你烦。
因为，我不想要你觉得不爽。。。
不想要有看到你为不重要的东西而烦。
所以。。。
我塑短了一天需要和你说话的时间。。。
从2小时30分。。。
变成了2分钟30秒。。。
是没有计算过没错，
但是，我的心情，就像2分钟30秒般。。。
觉得好短。。。
缺少了很多。。。
但是，这未必不是件好事。。。
因为，为了考试而承受着压力的你，
终于有些休息的时间了。。。
我还是不要打扰你吧。。。
ねえ、ご主人様。。。
あたしの気持いは知ってるの？
可能你知道，可能你不知道。。。
但是，
无论你知不知道，
我还是会说一句话。。。
愛している。
Sunday, August 16, 2009
:: 今週のAries – 嬉しい ::
Insert: Give Me Up (by Tamaki Nami)
Ahh~ How much I love this song~ XD Okay, skip that.
The whole week had a lots of funs, and a lots of troubles.
The good part of this week has… plenty? XD
First of all,
Pn. Lim agreed to let us make the Vampire Knight uniform for us to wear during Hajimari no Aki.
Then, I have finally finished doing, and typing the whole project and handed into Pn. Patricia.
Although she did not said that she approved it, but she’s going to discuss with Pn. Lim.
It means… THIS PROJECT WILL GO WELL!!! YES!!!
Mwahahahaha~~~ My efforts didn’t go wasted!!!
~ Getsuyoubi ~
On Monday, we went to Kou’s house and see him make his experimental toast.
It’s quite nice, yes, but… =w= It requires a lot of time and stuffs… Haiz…
That fella and I were waiting in his room.
What the heck, he told me not to do anything weird!
As if he’s not doing anything weird outside from the room!
With Zen!!! =w=
Grr… I hate him for some reasons…
But thanks to Zen, I have a REALLY good time with that fella~ Nyan~ ^w^
Well, Zen drove us to the Guitar Store to buy the bass.
So on the car, that fella and I were sitting on the back.
We’re like playing and talking…
Then suddenly that fella talked about one topic, and made me go “Nyan”.
The embarrased style of “Nyan”, or the guilty “Nyan”, I forgot…
Then…
I can’t believe that fella let me sleep on!
No, to be exact, I can’t believe that fella put one arm around my neck…
And dragged me to be closer towards the… chest?
Okay, it’s not exactly the chest.
It’s above the chest.
I’m not that short. =w=
Then, that fella go and pet my head, and said:
“He la, he la. (Hokkien? Not sure)”
So I rested my head on that fella’s… above the chest.
(Seriously, what does that part called as? The bone part? =w=)
It feels so good~
But it ends very quickly.
Why?
Thanks to some certain idiots in front of me,
Playing and acting so closely with each other!!!
Makes me feel weird all of the sudden, and blurted out.
“Err… Okay, it’s weird.”
Then that fella replied me while taking the arm back.
“You also know hor.”
Argh! My arm! Ah, no. I mean, that fella’s arm! =w=
It’s not circling me anymore!!! +w+
Grr… I hate you Kou!!! I shall blame you with this!!! \w/
Mrrrraaaaaaaawwwwwwww!!!!!! *glares*
So, we’re in Guitar Store after that.
It’s a bass that we wanted to buy.
But that fella didn’t have much money, so I kind of borrow first.
Well, although that fella DID tell me that returning the money is like…
Several 100 years later.
But I paid for it anyway. Haha.
And I do thought of buying that as a gift… Hahaha…
(And I was scolded for saying so. X3
Although I received a pet very soon too. ^w^)
The most amazing thing of that fella is that…
The bass’ original price is RM890.
But is cut down to RM770 (I think, or lower than that owO)
OMG… How can that fella did that?!?!
What did that fella said to the shop owner?!?! Owo
I was kind of shocked when I saw the final price…
After adding in all those champlang stuffs…
Like the bags and all that…
It’s not even the original price of the bass!!!
It’s just RM850-+!!!
OMG!!! OwO
Okay, that fella is really a Kami-sama… =w=
Sasuga goshujin-sama… Sugoi!!! ‘w’
After buying the bass,
we decided to go to Giant in Connaught to see the prices.
So we’re in Zen’s car again.
And… All 4 of us are again, in a very lovely matter.
If I can say that?
Well, at least those 2 in front of us are. =w=
Hate them.
Especially when we’re in Giant.
I can’t believe they’re like, kissing in front of me!!!
GRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
And I’m like making a big fuss out of it.
That fella heard me, but didn’t know what’s wrong.
So those 2 were asked to do it again,
Against my damn protest about doing it again.
Don’t want to see it again, I quickly walk out.
I knew they did it, and that fella only “Oh”ed at it.
How unemotional. =w=
So after that, Kou asked that fella.
“Ei, you don’t mind kissing with people?”
“Of course. It’s not the first time anyway.”
Then Kou looked at me one kind, and I nodded.
I knew it for a long time.
Well, that fella told me anyway.
Right after Shirly asked me to ask that fella.
So… That fella told me. Yeah.
Although I acted nothing, but actually I’m kind of…
Jealous.
Yeah. That’s the best word… I think?
Because it’s not something that hurts me, but…
Hmm…
Not sure. It’s kinda sour-ish…
So…
Maybe?
Haiz…
Then I’m alone with Zen for a while,
As Kou and that fella are looking at those prices.
So we’re like talking about our relationships.
“Why do you give out so much to that fella?” He asked.
“Hmm… Dunno? Because… I feel like it?”
“You’ll regret later.”
“Ha, talk about yourself.”
“Haiz. I’m very painful now, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.”
Then we’re going to talk more about it,
But Kou and that fella looked back at us.
They have the “What?” look at us, but we shook it off.
Haha?
“Even if you don’t feel anything for me.”
Heh, that fella will never know how I really felt.
To be by side.
To be together.
“Atashi, mada, anata no soba ni itai.”
To be the one that wants the other to be happy.
To be the one that wished self to be happy,
But knows that its hard to achieve.
Still, I’m happy to be with that fella.
“Just because I’m in love with you”
But…
Hey, do you know?
How much that I love you?
How much that I think of you?
To be held by you…
To be whispered by you…
To be with you…
“Nee, shitteru?”
Ahaha, another song of mine.
Okay, don’t mind that, skip~
~ Doyoubi ~
Then... Saturday, my best day...
(And a small event made it turn into a semi-bad day in the week.)
I'm able to go on a date with that fella!!! Nya~n!!! ^w^
I purposely put on an entirely different me up too.
By making myself look more girlish than usual.
Although in Hip-Hop style XD
That didn't waste my 1 hour effort in picking the best clothing.
(That fella said that I'm kawaii~~~ see below.)
Mwahahahaha~~~
I'm so happy 'bout it.
Of course, I didn't put on the happy face...
Just kept on “Yes! Yosya!! Yatta!!!” in my mind.
Hahas?
When we're in Zen's car, we're acting lovely duey again~
Heheheh~
This time, I'm able to sleep longer in that fella's...
Above chest. X3
And... I'm able to pull the arm closer and feel it with my lips.
Damn!!!
It's so smooth!
Yet the master of the arm said it's not...
And mine's smoother.
Huh...
I do think that that fella's arm is smoother though...
We're on Zen's car, and the music is loud like hell.
I can't hear a single word what Kou is talking 'bout.
Then, we're talking about something,
That makes me chose to listen finish Halo first,
Before answering them.
I think it's something that embarrassed me... X3
Anyway, at the back, we decided to move towards the left,
'cause the sun in on the right,
And that fella hates the sun.
So we sat closer, and that feel is really good~
Heheh~
It's not long until we reach times square car park.
Then, we began to notice that there's animal patterns on the pillars.
We're making so much fun out of it. Haha~
The first thing that I do when I straight come down from the car is...
Hold that fella's arm.
Well, since that fella didn't mind, so I just hold it.
Often, I complimented about the skin,
Saying that it's smooth, and rub mine with it.
OMG, the feel is just so good~
(Okay, please don't think pervy. It's just arm to arm.)
I can nearly imagine myself with love patterns all around my head.
Nya~n~
Can't help but meow'ed out~
Hmm… Basically, we just kept on roaming around without a purpose.
Not really that exciting, if you ask me.
And that fella just stop by any bookstores that was spotted.
Haiz…
But I’m still happy, to be with that fella.
At least I can grab on the arm for the whole day ^w^
But one thing for sure is that…
Most stuffs in the food court is UNEDIBLE.
Okay, maybe not that much, but they sucks =w=
Do not simply buy any food.
Of course, you can try out the Italian Food.
Kou said that it’s nice (although he chose other food that day…)
Some bad foods to note are…
The western food that’s cooked by the Malays,
Which they use the BBQ like thing to grill the foods…
Eww…
Never want to eat that again…
After eating, we went and look for A1 Taylor’s location.
But when we phoned them, they said that they’re near Bkt. Bintang.
Not in times.
=w=
What the heck?!
…Haiz, fine.
Well, we ended up in the place where the Japanese Food Fare is held.
Yay~ I grabbed plenty stuffs there~
Mwahahahaha~
I grabbed a lot of chocos, the ingredients to cook cold soba…
And I grab the foods without any limit. =w=
Whatever I see the stuffs that I wanted,
I just grab it and threw them into the basket…
That fella looked at me like this. O0O
Ahahaha… >w>
Ended up… The total is…
RM170++
OMG… OwO
I shocked at that moment…
What’s more heartbreaking than that is…
I accidentally broke a huge glass of wine that cost RM62++
TwT
There goes my items… Giving back to the person…
5555~ TwT
And that basically turn the day quite bad.
But we quickly get over it.
We decided to choose a place to calculate the prices for everything.
So we went to Old Town and take a break there.
The best thing is…
Kou decided to belanja us ^w^
Sankyu ne, Kou~
Still…
I can’t believe that fella ate the egg yorks without anything…
And the worst thing about it is the egg whites are not being eaten…
And what’s next?
Kou and I grabbed the plate away, and stopped the crime (?!).
The law of eating the half-boiled egg is to add the spices in…
WHEN IT’S HALF RAW!!! =w=
This egg… It’s like… 80% cooked…
Haiz…
But it’s still nice. Somehow…
Eggs are always nice… I think?
Yeah…
After the short break, we decided to go back to LM.
We’re in Zen’s car again.
Phew… I’m so tired…
Feel like sleeping…
Then…
I’m in that fella’s embrace again.
Ahhh… This feel is just so nice…
I can smell the scent of the shampoo from here.
Ehehe~ ^///^
Then I asked that fella…
“Do you know why I dressed up like this today?”
“Hmm… Is it because you heard I said something?”
“Mmm… you said a lot of things…
Like…
‘You wear like this will be very kawaii…”
“Yeah. It is cute.”
Nya~n~ I’m smiling inside my heart that moment~
There's more stuffs after that, but I don't want to spread it out...
Not now.
Eheheh~
When we arrived in Leisure, we went to find that fella’s brother.
Well, that fella got no one to fetch back,
So is forced to stay in Leisure until 9.30p.m.
Of course, I wished to stay back beside,
So I phoned my bro and tell him I’m staying.
Since that time is about 6 something,
And that fella’s brother is going to watch a movie,
We decided to watch a movie too.
灵灵狗。
It’s a very hilarious comedy~
But it lacks of a plot, seriously.
Though I have fun in there…
Once again, the arm is embracing me,
Half way through, that fella looked at me,
“Erm… You… Haiz. Nevermind la. You’ll be freeze to death.”
I think I know what does it means, so I hold on the hand.
Wow… It’s so freezing cold…
So I decided to warm it up, although that fella did warned.
“Don’t touch me, it’s very cold. You’ll freeze to death.”
I did not say another single word, but just grabbed on the hand.
Trying to warm it up.
Until I realize my hands wasn’t enough.
And I have this thought of…
Putting it into my chest. @///@
Okay, that’s not going to happen.
So instead of that, I just use my face to warm it up.
Haha?
Better than using the chest, right? >w>
After the very hilarious movie, we went out.
Still, I'm not satisfied with this...
I wished to have more...
And more...
And more...
Am I a bit greedy?
=w=
I guess so...
~ Mainichi… ~
Speaking of which,
I’m very curious about whether that fella mind me to hold hands with.
I sms’ed like this (Of course I took out all the not important details)
“Hey, do you mind if I hold hands?”
Immediately, I got the reply…
“With who?”
Huh… I was sleeping already… (I expect no reply…)
“With you la who else!”
“Why should I mind?
Wei, you actually want more is it?
If not why Kou ask so?
Well, when I say I don’t mind I mean it.”
The next thing I do, is to phone, and said.
“Kou is just kidding la. Don’t take it serious!”
But then, I was asked back.
“Even though it's a joke, don't you want it?”
Well, of course I wanted it!!!
Who the heck do not want a kiss from their loved one?!
=w=
But...
Want is want...
Whether you can do it, it's still a problem.
“What 'can do it'? If you really want, I'm fine with it.”
Maybe, you're fine with it.
But... I'm not.
I don't know.
When I knew that I'm allowed to, I'm happy.
Yet, it felt different.
I just can't allow myself to do this.
Don't ask why...
Because I don't know.
Perhaps...
Maybe it's because that fella is not serious?
Or maybe that fella think that is serious enough,
But it's not, actually.
To me, that fella is just half-experimenting.
Maybe that's why I chose to be in a distance.
Maybe that's why I chose to not think of those stuffs...
But the funny thing about us is that...
We actually talked about what will happen to us in the future.
Owo
I know.
It's weird.
And...
The conversation and discussion is weird, too...
I even told that fella 'bout the stuffs of my family...
(Hmm… Those stuffs I’ve noted in the blog.)
And...
Talked until midnight 1a.m...
=w=
Uhuh...
So damn tired the next day…
~ Kyou: 11/8 ~
Then today…
I ponteng my class alongside with that fella,
In my empty class.
In the outside, we looked like we’re discussing about club stuffs.
But in the inside, we’re actually talking about…
“What the stuffs that you don’t eat?”
“Ello miss, the stuffs I don’t eat are a lot okay?”
“I know. Okay la. Then… What’re the stuffs you eat?”
“Erm… Ahaha… Think a lil’, those I eat are a lot too…”
=w= What the… Okay…?
“Hmm… I eat… Maybe… Prawns? Ahh, prawns are good~
You peel the shells, and eat it like that, it’s really good~”
By the time that fella mentioned prawn, I’ve already write it down.
The procedure of how to prepare the prawn, I’ve also written down.
Every words and every important details, I did not missed out.
Since when I’m so fond of cooking?
Well…
As soon as I knew that that fella likes the Cold Soba I made,
I have this thought of:
“Okay, I’m going to make for that fella everyday.”
Perhaps… I’m really fond of that fella.
And that’s why… I did so much about it…
But then, I was asked.
“Actually… Why do you want to do so much?
Why do you want to go through all the troubles?”
“Hmm? Just… For fun?”
For fun, is not an answer, actually…
“I did it just for you.”
This is my true answer.
But… I don’t know why, I just twist my answer.
Hmm…
Can’t I be straightforward towards that fella?
I don’t know…
Perhaps, I’m still afraid.
Afraid of that fella, afraid of myself.
Or…
Hmm…
Maybe it’s because the environment doesn’t allow me to be straightforward?
Just because…
There’s a lot of students around there when I’m being asked?
Hmm…
Maybe…
Still…
I can’t help but thinking…
Am I worthy to be alongside that fella?
Can I protect that fella?
Does that fella liked me back?
Or just being “coorperative” with me, play this “game” with me?
Or…
That fella just don’t mind me at all?
Haiz…
I really do not know…
I’m so damn blurred…
Perhaps someone around me can give me the answer.
If they knew who that fella is,
If they knew all about that fella,
If they knew the whole situation.
But the point is, no one knows about it.
So no one can give me the answer.
No one but that fella.
No, I don’t think that fella even know what self is thinking.
So I’m alone again.
To think this by my own self…
Although it’s a good thing, somehow…
Haiz…
I’m not going to sleep tonight…
But…
At least I can phone that fella?
Hmm…
Haha, peace out for now~
> Nee, Shitteru?
Genre: Pop
Tone: Kinda sour-ish
Theme: Confused love???
Instruments: Electric Guitar, Drum, Bass, Keyboard
Vocal: Me
ねえ、知ってる？
貴方の事をどんな好きで？
何時までも
貴方の事を考えて
朝から夜に
何処までも貴方の事を
あたしの心にずっと考えて
今、貴方を会いたいよ
貴方と一緒欲しいよ
こんな近くでも
如何して遠い見たいの？
何故、一緒に駄目だよ？
まだ恋人じゃないの？
訊ねる欲しいよ
でも怖かったよ
ねえ、知ってる？
ねえ、知ってる？
貴方の事をどんな気にって？
何処までも
あたしだけと一緒欲しいよ
多分嫉妬でしょ？
貴方とあたし以外の人一緒
だってその時あたし不安に感じた
今、あたし達の関係は
一体何だろうか？
こんな近くでも
まだ遠い見たいよ
何故、説明に駄目だよ？
あたし本とに知らないよ
あと少しの日々
もう時間ないだよ
ねえ、知ってる？
ねえ、あたしの言葉は
届けたい出きるか？
その時貴方の
答え何だろうか？
今、貴方を会いたいよ
貴方と一緒欲しいよ
こんな近くでも
如何して遠い見たいの？
何故、一緒に駄目だよ？
まだ恋人じゃないの？
訊ねる欲しいよ
でも怖かったよ
今、あたし達の関係は
一体何だろうか？
こんな近くでも
まだ遠い見たいよ
何故、説明に駄目だよ？
あたし本とに知らないよ
あと少しの日々
もう時間ないだよ
ねえ、知ってる？
ねえ、知ってる？
あたしの思いを
ねえ、知ってる？
Ahh~ How much I love this song~ XD Okay, skip that.
The whole week had a lots of funs, and a lots of troubles.
The good part of this week has… plenty? XD
First of all,
Pn. Lim agreed to let us make the Vampire Knight uniform for us to wear during Hajimari no Aki.
Then, I have finally finished doing, and typing the whole project and handed into Pn. Patricia.
Although she did not said that she approved it, but she’s going to discuss with Pn. Lim.
It means… THIS PROJECT WILL GO WELL!!! YES!!!
Mwahahahaha~~~ My efforts didn’t go wasted!!!
~ Getsuyoubi ~
On Monday, we went to Kou’s house and see him make his experimental toast.
It’s quite nice, yes, but… =w= It requires a lot of time and stuffs… Haiz…
That fella and I were waiting in his room.
What the heck, he told me not to do anything weird!
As if he’s not doing anything weird outside from the room!
With Zen!!! =w=
Grr… I hate him for some reasons…
But thanks to Zen, I have a REALLY good time with that fella~ Nyan~ ^w^
Well, Zen drove us to the Guitar Store to buy the bass.
So on the car, that fella and I were sitting on the back.
We’re like playing and talking…
Then suddenly that fella talked about one topic, and made me go “Nyan”.
The embarrased style of “Nyan”, or the guilty “Nyan”, I forgot…
Then…
I can’t believe that fella let me sleep on!
No, to be exact, I can’t believe that fella put one arm around my neck…
And dragged me to be closer towards the… chest?
Okay, it’s not exactly the chest.
It’s above the chest.
I’m not that short. =w=
Then, that fella go and pet my head, and said:
“He la, he la. (Hokkien? Not sure)”
So I rested my head on that fella’s… above the chest.
(Seriously, what does that part called as? The bone part? =w=)
It feels so good~
But it ends very quickly.
Why?
Thanks to some certain idiots in front of me,
Playing and acting so closely with each other!!!
Makes me feel weird all of the sudden, and blurted out.
“Err… Okay, it’s weird.”
Then that fella replied me while taking the arm back.
“You also know hor.”
Argh! My arm! Ah, no. I mean, that fella’s arm! =w=
It’s not circling me anymore!!! +w+
Grr… I hate you Kou!!! I shall blame you with this!!! \w/
Mrrrraaaaaaaawwwwwwww!!!!!! *glares*
So, we’re in Guitar Store after that.
It’s a bass that we wanted to buy.
But that fella didn’t have much money, so I kind of borrow first.
Well, although that fella DID tell me that returning the money is like…
Several 100 years later.
But I paid for it anyway. Haha.
And I do thought of buying that as a gift… Hahaha…
(And I was scolded for saying so. X3
Although I received a pet very soon too. ^w^)
The most amazing thing of that fella is that…
The bass’ original price is RM890.
But is cut down to RM770 (I think, or lower than that owO)
OMG… How can that fella did that?!?!
What did that fella said to the shop owner?!?! Owo
I was kind of shocked when I saw the final price…
After adding in all those champlang stuffs…
Like the bags and all that…
It’s not even the original price of the bass!!!
It’s just RM850-+!!!
OMG!!! OwO
Okay, that fella is really a Kami-sama… =w=
Sasuga goshujin-sama… Sugoi!!! ‘w’
After buying the bass,
we decided to go to Giant in Connaught to see the prices.
So we’re in Zen’s car again.
And… All 4 of us are again, in a very lovely matter.
If I can say that?
Well, at least those 2 in front of us are. =w=
Hate them.
Especially when we’re in Giant.
I can’t believe they’re like, kissing in front of me!!!
GRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
And I’m like making a big fuss out of it.
That fella heard me, but didn’t know what’s wrong.
So those 2 were asked to do it again,
Against my damn protest about doing it again.
Don’t want to see it again, I quickly walk out.
I knew they did it, and that fella only “Oh”ed at it.
How unemotional. =w=
So after that, Kou asked that fella.
“Ei, you don’t mind kissing with people?”
“Of course. It’s not the first time anyway.”
Then Kou looked at me one kind, and I nodded.
I knew it for a long time.
Well, that fella told me anyway.
Right after Shirly asked me to ask that fella.
So… That fella told me. Yeah.
Although I acted nothing, but actually I’m kind of…
Jealous.
Yeah. That’s the best word… I think?
Because it’s not something that hurts me, but…
Hmm…
Not sure. It’s kinda sour-ish…
So…
Maybe?
Haiz…
Then I’m alone with Zen for a while,
As Kou and that fella are looking at those prices.
So we’re like talking about our relationships.
“Why do you give out so much to that fella?” He asked.
“Hmm… Dunno? Because… I feel like it?”
“You’ll regret later.”
“Ha, talk about yourself.”
“Haiz. I’m very painful now, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.”
Then we’re going to talk more about it,
But Kou and that fella looked back at us.
They have the “What?” look at us, but we shook it off.
Haha?
“Even if you don’t feel anything for me.”
Heh, that fella will never know how I really felt.
To be by side.
To be together.
“Atashi, mada, anata no soba ni itai.”
To be the one that wants the other to be happy.
To be the one that wished self to be happy,
But knows that its hard to achieve.
Still, I’m happy to be with that fella.
“Just because I’m in love with you”
But…
Hey, do you know?
How much that I love you?
How much that I think of you?
To be held by you…
To be whispered by you…
To be with you…
“Nee, shitteru?”
Ahaha, another song of mine.
Okay, don’t mind that, skip~
~ Doyoubi ~
Then... Saturday, my best day...
(And a small event made it turn into a semi-bad day in the week.)
I'm able to go on a date with that fella!!! Nya~n!!! ^w^
I purposely put on an entirely different me up too.
By making myself look more girlish than usual.
Although in Hip-Hop style XD
That didn't waste my 1 hour effort in picking the best clothing.
(That fella said that I'm kawaii~~~ see below.)
Mwahahahaha~~~
I'm so happy 'bout it.
Of course, I didn't put on the happy face...
Just kept on “Yes! Yosya!! Yatta!!!” in my mind.
Hahas?
When we're in Zen's car, we're acting lovely duey again~
Heheheh~
This time, I'm able to sleep longer in that fella's...
Above chest. X3
And... I'm able to pull the arm closer and feel it with my lips.
Damn!!!
It's so smooth!
Yet the master of the arm said it's not...
And mine's smoother.
Huh...
I do think that that fella's arm is smoother though...
We're on Zen's car, and the music is loud like hell.
I can't hear a single word what Kou is talking 'bout.
Then, we're talking about something,
That makes me chose to listen finish Halo first,
Before answering them.
I think it's something that embarrassed me... X3
Anyway, at the back, we decided to move towards the left,
'cause the sun in on the right,
And that fella hates the sun.
So we sat closer, and that feel is really good~
Heheh~
It's not long until we reach times square car park.
Then, we began to notice that there's animal patterns on the pillars.
We're making so much fun out of it. Haha~
The first thing that I do when I straight come down from the car is...
Hold that fella's arm.
Well, since that fella didn't mind, so I just hold it.
Often, I complimented about the skin,
Saying that it's smooth, and rub mine with it.
OMG, the feel is just so good~
(Okay, please don't think pervy. It's just arm to arm.)
I can nearly imagine myself with love patterns all around my head.
Nya~n~
Can't help but meow'ed out~
Hmm… Basically, we just kept on roaming around without a purpose.
Not really that exciting, if you ask me.
And that fella just stop by any bookstores that was spotted.
Haiz…
But I’m still happy, to be with that fella.
At least I can grab on the arm for the whole day ^w^
But one thing for sure is that…
Most stuffs in the food court is UNEDIBLE.
Okay, maybe not that much, but they sucks =w=
Do not simply buy any food.
Of course, you can try out the Italian Food.
Kou said that it’s nice (although he chose other food that day…)
Some bad foods to note are…
The western food that’s cooked by the Malays,
Which they use the BBQ like thing to grill the foods…
Eww…
Never want to eat that again…
After eating, we went and look for A1 Taylor’s location.
But when we phoned them, they said that they’re near Bkt. Bintang.
Not in times.
=w=
What the heck?!
…Haiz, fine.
Well, we ended up in the place where the Japanese Food Fare is held.
Yay~ I grabbed plenty stuffs there~
Mwahahahaha~
I grabbed a lot of chocos, the ingredients to cook cold soba…
And I grab the foods without any limit. =w=
Whatever I see the stuffs that I wanted,
I just grab it and threw them into the basket…
That fella looked at me like this. O0O
Ahahaha… >w>
Ended up… The total is…
RM170++
OMG… OwO
I shocked at that moment…
What’s more heartbreaking than that is…
I accidentally broke a huge glass of wine that cost RM62++
TwT
There goes my items… Giving back to the person…
5555~ TwT
And that basically turn the day quite bad.
But we quickly get over it.
We decided to choose a place to calculate the prices for everything.
So we went to Old Town and take a break there.
The best thing is…
Kou decided to belanja us ^w^
Sankyu ne, Kou~
Still…
I can’t believe that fella ate the egg yorks without anything…
And the worst thing about it is the egg whites are not being eaten…
And what’s next?
Kou and I grabbed the plate away, and stopped the crime (?!).
The law of eating the half-boiled egg is to add the spices in…
WHEN IT’S HALF RAW!!! =w=
This egg… It’s like… 80% cooked…
Haiz…
But it’s still nice. Somehow…
Eggs are always nice… I think?
Yeah…
After the short break, we decided to go back to LM.
We’re in Zen’s car again.
Phew… I’m so tired…
Feel like sleeping…
Then…
I’m in that fella’s embrace again.
Ahhh… This feel is just so nice…
I can smell the scent of the shampoo from here.
Ehehe~ ^///^
Then I asked that fella…
“Do you know why I dressed up like this today?”
“Hmm… Is it because you heard I said something?”
“Mmm… you said a lot of things…
Like…
‘You wear like this will be very kawaii…”
“Yeah. It is cute.”
Nya~n~ I’m smiling inside my heart that moment~
There's more stuffs after that, but I don't want to spread it out...
Not now.
Eheheh~
When we arrived in Leisure, we went to find that fella’s brother.
Well, that fella got no one to fetch back,
So is forced to stay in Leisure until 9.30p.m.
Of course, I wished to stay back beside,
So I phoned my bro and tell him I’m staying.
Since that time is about 6 something,
And that fella’s brother is going to watch a movie,
We decided to watch a movie too.
灵灵狗。
It’s a very hilarious comedy~
But it lacks of a plot, seriously.
Though I have fun in there…
Once again, the arm is embracing me,
Half way through, that fella looked at me,
“Erm… You… Haiz. Nevermind la. You’ll be freeze to death.”
I think I know what does it means, so I hold on the hand.
Wow… It’s so freezing cold…
So I decided to warm it up, although that fella did warned.
“Don’t touch me, it’s very cold. You’ll freeze to death.”
I did not say another single word, but just grabbed on the hand.
Trying to warm it up.
Until I realize my hands wasn’t enough.
And I have this thought of…
Putting it into my chest. @///@
Okay, that’s not going to happen.
So instead of that, I just use my face to warm it up.
Haha?
Better than using the chest, right? >w>
After the very hilarious movie, we went out.
Still, I'm not satisfied with this...
I wished to have more...
And more...
And more...
Am I a bit greedy?
=w=
I guess so...
~ Mainichi… ~
Speaking of which,
I’m very curious about whether that fella mind me to hold hands with.
I sms’ed like this (Of course I took out all the not important details)
“Hey, do you mind if I hold hands?”
Immediately, I got the reply…
“With who?”
Huh… I was sleeping already… (I expect no reply…)
“With you la who else!”
“Why should I mind?
Wei, you actually want more is it?
If not why Kou ask so?
Well, when I say I don’t mind I mean it.”
The next thing I do, is to phone, and said.
“Kou is just kidding la. Don’t take it serious!”
But then, I was asked back.
“Even though it's a joke, don't you want it?”
Well, of course I wanted it!!!
Who the heck do not want a kiss from their loved one?!
=w=
But...
Want is want...
Whether you can do it, it's still a problem.
“What 'can do it'? If you really want, I'm fine with it.”
Maybe, you're fine with it.
But... I'm not.
I don't know.
When I knew that I'm allowed to, I'm happy.
Yet, it felt different.
I just can't allow myself to do this.
Don't ask why...
Because I don't know.
Perhaps...
Maybe it's because that fella is not serious?
Or maybe that fella think that is serious enough,
But it's not, actually.
To me, that fella is just half-experimenting.
Maybe that's why I chose to be in a distance.
Maybe that's why I chose to not think of those stuffs...
But the funny thing about us is that...
We actually talked about what will happen to us in the future.
Owo
I know.
It's weird.
And...
The conversation and discussion is weird, too...
I even told that fella 'bout the stuffs of my family...
(Hmm… Those stuffs I’ve noted in the blog.)
And...
Talked until midnight 1a.m...
=w=
Uhuh...
So damn tired the next day…
~ Kyou: 11/8 ~
Then today…
I ponteng my class alongside with that fella,
In my empty class.
In the outside, we looked like we’re discussing about club stuffs.
But in the inside, we’re actually talking about…
“What the stuffs that you don’t eat?”
“Ello miss, the stuffs I don’t eat are a lot okay?”
“I know. Okay la. Then… What’re the stuffs you eat?”
“Erm… Ahaha… Think a lil’, those I eat are a lot too…”
=w= What the… Okay…?
“Hmm… I eat… Maybe… Prawns? Ahh, prawns are good~
You peel the shells, and eat it like that, it’s really good~”
By the time that fella mentioned prawn, I’ve already write it down.
The procedure of how to prepare the prawn, I’ve also written down.
Every words and every important details, I did not missed out.
Since when I’m so fond of cooking?
Well…
As soon as I knew that that fella likes the Cold Soba I made,
I have this thought of:
“Okay, I’m going to make for that fella everyday.”
Perhaps… I’m really fond of that fella.
And that’s why… I did so much about it…
But then, I was asked.
“Actually… Why do you want to do so much?
Why do you want to go through all the troubles?”
“Hmm? Just… For fun?”
For fun, is not an answer, actually…
“I did it just for you.”
This is my true answer.
But… I don’t know why, I just twist my answer.
Hmm…
Can’t I be straightforward towards that fella?
I don’t know…
Perhaps, I’m still afraid.
Afraid of that fella, afraid of myself.
Or…
Hmm…
Maybe it’s because the environment doesn’t allow me to be straightforward?
Just because…
There’s a lot of students around there when I’m being asked?
Hmm…
Maybe…
Still…
I can’t help but thinking…
Am I worthy to be alongside that fella?
Can I protect that fella?
Does that fella liked me back?
Or just being “coorperative” with me, play this “game” with me?
Or…
That fella just don’t mind me at all?
Haiz…
I really do not know…
I’m so damn blurred…
Perhaps someone around me can give me the answer.
If they knew who that fella is,
If they knew all about that fella,
If they knew the whole situation.
But the point is, no one knows about it.
So no one can give me the answer.
No one but that fella.
No, I don’t think that fella even know what self is thinking.
So I’m alone again.
To think this by my own self…
Although it’s a good thing, somehow…
Haiz…
I’m not going to sleep tonight…
But…
At least I can phone that fella?
Hmm…
Haha, peace out for now~
> Nee, Shitteru?
Genre: Pop
Tone: Kinda sour-ish
Theme: Confused love???
Instruments: Electric Guitar, Drum, Bass, Keyboard
Vocal: Me
ねえ、知ってる？
貴方の事をどんな好きで？
何時までも
貴方の事を考えて
朝から夜に
何処までも貴方の事を
あたしの心にずっと考えて
今、貴方を会いたいよ
貴方と一緒欲しいよ
こんな近くでも
如何して遠い見たいの？
何故、一緒に駄目だよ？
まだ恋人じゃないの？
訊ねる欲しいよ
でも怖かったよ
ねえ、知ってる？
ねえ、知ってる？
貴方の事をどんな気にって？
何処までも
あたしだけと一緒欲しいよ
多分嫉妬でしょ？
貴方とあたし以外の人一緒
だってその時あたし不安に感じた
今、あたし達の関係は
一体何だろうか？
こんな近くでも
まだ遠い見たいよ
何故、説明に駄目だよ？
あたし本とに知らないよ
あと少しの日々
もう時間ないだよ
ねえ、知ってる？
ねえ、あたしの言葉は
届けたい出きるか？
その時貴方の
答え何だろうか？
今、貴方を会いたいよ
貴方と一緒欲しいよ
こんな近くでも
如何して遠い見たいの？
何故、一緒に駄目だよ？
まだ恋人じゃないの？
訊ねる欲しいよ
でも怖かったよ
今、あたし達の関係は
一体何だろうか？
こんな近くでも
まだ遠い見たいよ
何故、説明に駄目だよ？
あたし本とに知らないよ
あと少しの日々
もう時間ないだよ
ねえ、知ってる？
ねえ、知ってる？
あたしの思いを
ねえ、知ってる？
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