:: 気持ち最大悪いAries Part 5 ::

Insert: Get the Future (by Takahashi Hitomi)

This world has no justice.
Since the day I grew up in this family, I understood this concept of life.

My family treat me like a fool, although I really WAS a fool.
But now I’m an adult.
Can’t they treat me better?

I admit. I’m wrong.
I admit. I’m noisy.
I admit. I’m inconsiderate.
But does that means that you are not?
Does that means that you can just defy my actions?
Does that means that you understood my actions?
Does that means that you have the right to critisize my actions?

When you are actually messing up my place just for your selfishness?
When you are actually ORDERING me to do stuffs for your playfulness?
When you are actually the one that’s WRONG?!

And my brain is none for your insultments.
I have absolutely nothing in intelligence for you to insult.
I am a little slow, yes, but that does not means that I do not know what to do.

So can you please SHUT UP and let me do what I want?

I already tell you I want to leave this house.
I already tell you I can be on my own.
But you insisted to want me be in this house.
But you insisted that I couldn’t take care of myself.

And now you’re telling me I’m noisy?
While you already knew what will happen if you insisted that I’m going to stay here?
And now you’re critisizing me how to take care of myself?
While you never even let me do it?



It was just a game, alright?
Mah-Jong, to be exact.
I know how to play, from the start.
Is just that YOU are the one that ASSUMED that I do not know a single thing.
So I proved that I know the general knowledge.
And what the heck, you praise me as if I’ve got a prize.
It’s just a general knowledge, dude!!
How can it be so hard???

Am I really that brainless in your mind?

But you know what, to me, you are the brainless one.

I’m just playing, training my brain.
You’re there telling me, what to throw and what to eat.
AS IF I REALLY DON’T KNOW.
AS IF I REALLY NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE.

So much things that you have done, in just a short one hour length.
You have critisize me at least 2 times in a game.
You have mocked me at least 3 times in a game.
In total, I could not count but, if one game is 5 minutes, you have already…
Critisize me 24 times.
Mocked me 36 times.
In 12 games.

And what’s next?
You’re going to “teach” me.
Hell, I can be a better teacher than you.
I’m just giving you face, okay.
Don’t think I’m really that stupid, would you?

Just that you’re better than I am, doesn’t mean that you can critisize my actions.
Just because you think that I am a fool, doesn’t mean that I am really a fool.
I can be smarter than you.
I can be richer than you.
I can be anything BETTER than you.
If I want to.

You know, you can be such a JERK some times.
If you weren’t my blood-related family, I’ve already wanted to say this phrase in your face.

“Shut the fuck up, would you?!”

And seriously, I’m on the borderline to yell out this phrase.
This exact phrase.
Although I have yelled for millions of times in my heart.
Just to give you some prides you need as my elders.
I respect you.

But what you’ve done had made me losing the respect.
Each step going down the stairs.
I’m starting to hate you.
To dispise you.
To leave you.
To do whatever that opposes you.



Although I oppose the idea of having that baby in my huge room.
But did they listen? No.
I mean, since when they listen to MY OPINION?
They always talked about THEIR OPINION.
And FORCED their opinions on ME.

So what? I’m going out from the room.
What month is that?
About November to December.
What time is that?
My SPM time.
EXACTLY.
So my mom said “Sorry”.
But did that help?
No.
Because I don’t think anyone in the family even felt to say “sorry”.
Because I was so disliked by them.
I don’t care about being disliked.
The world is already unfair anyway.
This is just the beginning.
I know.

What if I’m back to my room?
I’m going to be with the aunty that’s going to take care of the baby.
AND the baby itself.
But I don’t think they WANT me to stay in the room.
Because whatever I do, is no way good for the baby.

So where I’m going to stay then?
In my parents room.
Along with them.

HECK.

You know what?
Sleeping in the living room’s sofa is far much better than staying in THEIR room.
Imagine my dad’s bomb in the night.
Imagine my mom’s nagging UNTIL night.
Can I sleep in there?
I don’t think so.
Can I even study?
I can NEVER think so.

That is why I told them I want to move out.
They do not approve.
So?
I’m going to stay here like Harry Potter?
Sleeping in a storeroom?
Well, he’s far more better than I do.
At least he gets a real home later.
Me?
I have nothing.

I have no foster parents to pass a house to me.
I’m no legendary child.
I’m just another normal child with no power, no money, no pride.
Although how much do I protest, nothing will go my way.
Even the choice where I want to go study music?
Is something they WANT ME to be.
It’s nothing they do not want me to be.
But when I’m going to study music technology?
They oppose.
Saying, “I just want you to be a normal music teacher.”

Hell.
Is that going to happen in me?
Never.
Even if I will, it’ll be decades after this.

And what’s worse?
They want to interfere with my hair.
Telling me to cut on THEIR style.
Heck.
I don’t need their fashion senses.
Theirs are the WORST to come by.
I don’t even want to trust them.
They just force everything on me.



I’m not gonna let you do whatever stuff that you want with my life.
No, and NEVER.

Singapore? I’m going.
And that will be the final destination that you fools can control.
I’m going to break free after that.
I’m going to soar higher in the sky.
I’m going to melt the chains that you have put on me, eternally.
And I shall NEVER come back.

Trust. My. Words. People.

: 嬉しい Aries Part 4 ::

11th May 2009

Insert: Atashi no Machi, Ashita no Machi

Kuso! My iPod no battery! This is why I hate my iPod... Dude, I can't trust that damn battery indicator! It's like, always fake! And the most thing I don't understand is that why it's battery will loss even when I didn't use it? Don't get it... Even in standby mode, the battery shouldn't loss that much! And before reformat it also didn't lose that much, even when I play the songs... Haiz. I want my old one back... I so regretted to format it... Haiz...

By the way, today is the beginning of my exams. Today is BM~ No, I'm not happy. But I hope I won't fail it... Ehh... Hate BM la... I'd rather take German or Japanese. At least I might understand them, you know? I think. I didn't even have time to study for BM... Yesterday, go ST, then go celebrate the stupid Mother's Day thing. Lucky the food were nice. But still... I dislike it. Especially the crab. Never order that one again. Want to eat also Mafan like hell. The liquids were good, but... Nah... Though the bread was nice XD

Then after that, the most hectic thing ever... I'm chatting with Callous! If you think that's normal, I can tell you, it's NOT. Why? We talked about 2 topics at the same time, and we understand what we're talking about! WTH?! If that's normal enough, explain this. We're talking about exam stuffs and BJ + Cal stuff at the same time! I don't understand. She's like, kept on reminding me about that! Izit... Because she wished to have that kiss? If that's so, I can say, she's very good in concealing her feelings... I mean, she can act that normal (or maybe not) in front of everyone about BJ, and BJ himself. It's great?

Hmm... Maybe... When I read back her blog again, I really thought that she liked him... I mean, “I would help you, because I love you”. That phrase. It's seriously confusing me... I seriously thought that she liked one of the guys amongst the group... Specifically BJ. Heh... Weird...

And yes, I know you're reading my blog, miss Callous. I type it out so that you can read. XD Mwahahahaha~ I'm ebal!!!



By the way, am I really that obvious about that fella? I mean, whenever I said that fella's gender, everyone could guess it. Kou also like that, Cal also can guess, even Neko too! It's like, izit that obvious?! Oh Kami-sama... God greif... Haiz...



Anyway, the song of recommendation per entry~ Atashi no Machi, Ashita no Machi~ The OP song for Toshokan Sensou, sang by Takahashi Hitomi. I love the drums, I love her voice, I love the guitars, I love EVERYTHING~

(Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yW2g_ZFPZWY)

Just go listen and you'll get what I mean!!



By the way, the funny thing we made today...

Prepare for trouble
And make it double
To protect the world from devastation
To unite all evils within our nation
To protect the people from truths and love
To reach onto the skies above

Jesse James
Team Rocket blast in the speed of light
Surrender now or prepare to fight
Meowth, that's right!

Ash (Iven): Wat the == again with de lame intro..Haha
Pikachu (Ace): Pika pika! (You're right!) *nods*
Misty (Mel): Haiz... Can't believe they're so lae...
Brock (Ben-jie): Yeah, Ash is the best! *gropes his butt*
Ash: OI!! WAT ARE U DOIN!! GET UR HAND OFF!!! *slap him real HARD!!*
Brock: Ouch~ Even a slap is so gentle~ *pink background* *~.~*
Ash: ..Ahh.Hh....h.h...=="
Pikachu: Pika pika pikachu... (There they go again...)
Misty: Yalah! They lae mah!
Ash: I cant stand it anymore!! *Grrr* Pikachu...would u help me...*Evil smile..Hehehe*
Pikachu: Pika pi... (Whatever) *walks towards Brock* Pika pika (Sorry dude), PIKACHU!!!! *thunderbolt attack*
Brock: Ahhh...*Hangus liao*
Ash: Bahaha..serves u right!!
Misty: Stop de lae things la!!!
Pikachu: Pika pika pipika! (Aiya, I know Misty likes Brock la!)
Misty: WTF?! You LITTLE RAT!!!
Pikachu: Pi...ka...chu?! (What did you say...?!) PI...KA...
Misty: Fick Dich! *attempt to run, but too late*
Pikachu: CHUUUUUUUU!!!!!! *Million Volts struck on Misty*
Misty: ahhhhh....... *mati kiao kiao*
Togepi (Yuki): Chigili pi~ (Omoshiroi desu~) *wave hands around*
Ash: Haha...u oso get shock..Haha..
Pikachu: Pi~ka~ *peace sign*

PS: No more time for stuffs, toodles~ XD