Insert: Saikyou Pare Parade (Suzumiya Haruhi... song? XD Forgot from which album. Lalala~)
Today is the end of EST...
No, not yet SPM.
And...
I found out that I'm really carefree about SPM here...
I JUST CAN'T TREAT IT AS A REAL EXAM!!!
I JUST KEPT ON TREAT IT AS NORMAL EXAM!!!
WHAT SHOULD I DO~~~
>w<
I know.
Retarded.
But who cares~
I'm happy here~
Nyahahahaha~~~
Okay.
I am retard.
Acknowledged.
Well... Many happened these days and the yadda-yadda-yadda...
The most frustrating thing that happened to me now is that...
My nephew is born!
Yes?
No?
Happy?
Sad?
Not sure...
But it's sure a HUGE problem for me.
You see.
Because of the baby,
Everyone changed their places of sleep.
I'm taking the living room for the past 3 days.
Reason?
My parents are sleeping in MY ROOM.
I mean...
WHO WANTS TO SHARE A ROOM WITH THEM?!?!
SO FREAKING ANNOYING!!!!
>w<
No, and no way I'm going to do that.
And so...
I end up staying in the living room.
Nyahaha~
It wasn't that bad, I had to admit.
Better than sleeping with them, that is. =w=
Oh, and you know when the baby is brought to the house?
Right before the first day of my PRECIOUS SPM.
Nya.
It sucks.
Really.
Not because that he's noisy.
It's because we need to change our usual places for sleep.
Jeeeeeeeeee~~~
And from now on until they renovate the house,
I need to sleep with my bro.
>w<
I so do not like it.
Datte... Otoko da... >w>
If it's Kou, it's different.
But this is my brother.
So...
=w=
Haiz...
Whatever!
I'm going to have fun here!
Screw SPM! OAo
Okay, maybe not.
But now...
Just let me have some fun...
Eheheh~
I DID have fun with...
あたしのご主人様～
Maa... Although I'm the only one having fun though.
At least I think so.
>w<
Whatever~~~
I'm going to play the whole day night~~~
NYAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Friday, November 20, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
:: ドキドキしちゃう Aries Part 14 ::
Insert: Transparent (Phantom -Requiem for the Phantom- 2nd OP)
他根本就不在乎你嘛。
干吗还要继续为他付出呢？
就因为对他的思念？
就因为对他的痴情？
就因为对他的爱？
很不明白。
明明是一个不爱你的人，
明明是一个不在乎你的人，
明明是一个对你的死活都不关心的人，
为何还要对他那么好？
他只是在玩你，你看不出吗？
Is love really that blind?
Or we’re just pretending that we do not know anything?
Ignoring and just kept on ignoring.
Even if one really hates you,
Or don’t even acknowledge your presence?
これは最大の嘘だ！
これは最大のトラップだ！
何故お前が解んないの？！
愛、だから、ですか？
唯その理由ですか？！
唯その、馬鹿の理由ですか？！
そんなの物、食べにできるか？！
そんなの物、本とに幸せに有るのか？！
お前より、唯最大の苦しみだろう？！
だったなら、何故？！
何故まだあいつを愛して、気にって、欲しいって？！
It’s just an illusion!
A lie!!
The most foolish feel of all!!!
Why can’t you understand?!
Why are you still in this kind of mess?!
Why don’t you open up your eyes and take a good look at all of this?!
Are you really that stupid,
Or you’re just really that naïve?!
ARGH!!!
---
快断的红线
Genre: Sad Rock
Tone: Confused, anger, sadist
Theme: Unrequited love
Instruments: Piano, Electric Guitar, Bass, Drum
Vocal: Me, I guess?
挣扎30天
痛苦3个月
以为终于等到了
他的答案
浪费了时间
弃下了逻辑
到头还是得不到
他的心
努力了这么久到头来还是一场空
明明在一起却还是会感到寂寞
独自付出一切真情真意没让他感动
只是留下空白的记忆陪着度过
为什么还不死心
他已经说对你没感情
为什么还在原地你不肯前进
捉住那快断的红线
你是否还在期待他会回头向你微笑
说一切都是个玩笑他在考验你
根本不可能
别在幻想了
别在痴情了
别在等待了
看似两个月
只有两星期
在一起的时间
是多么短暂
所有的感情
所有的过去
就算不再提起
每天在回忆
消遣了这么多时间歇斯底里为他想
偏偏他就对你的死活默不关心
曾经好几次都反复想要和他开口
但是就在最后关头你却在摇头
为什么说不出口
“分手”二字有何多痛苦？
为何不要一次过结束这难过
斩断那快断的红线
不要再为他顾虑这么多，马上放手
他不值得你再等候，大步向前走
但是不可能
没勇气放手
不想要放手
不舍得放手
过去的记忆
像CD Repeating
就算不去回忆
还是不停
清晰的旋律
荡漾在脑海里
幻想出的甜蜜
已经没心情再继续
为何还死心塌地
他不是说对你没感情？
为什么不要结束内心的折磨
看着那快断的红线
你是否在希望有奇迹出现把它填补
不理谁的阻扰劝阻继续在等待
就因为你不舍得
所以继续折腾你自己
就因为不想放弃选择了等待
追逐那快断的红线
不管他前面的路多么难受多么辛苦
你就是要走完这段非一般的旅途
不想要放弃
不想要放手
不肯向前走
因为还是爱着他
他根本就不在乎你嘛。
干吗还要继续为他付出呢？
就因为对他的思念？
就因为对他的痴情？
就因为对他的爱？
很不明白。
明明是一个不爱你的人，
明明是一个不在乎你的人，
明明是一个对你的死活都不关心的人，
为何还要对他那么好？
他只是在玩你，你看不出吗？
Is love really that blind?
Or we’re just pretending that we do not know anything?
Ignoring and just kept on ignoring.
Even if one really hates you,
Or don’t even acknowledge your presence?
これは最大の嘘だ！
これは最大のトラップだ！
何故お前が解んないの？！
愛、だから、ですか？
唯その理由ですか？！
唯その、馬鹿の理由ですか？！
そんなの物、食べにできるか？！
そんなの物、本とに幸せに有るのか？！
お前より、唯最大の苦しみだろう？！
だったなら、何故？！
何故まだあいつを愛して、気にって、欲しいって？！
It’s just an illusion!
A lie!!
The most foolish feel of all!!!
Why can’t you understand?!
Why are you still in this kind of mess?!
Why don’t you open up your eyes and take a good look at all of this?!
Are you really that stupid,
Or you’re just really that naïve?!
ARGH!!!
---
快断的红线
Genre: Sad Rock
Tone: Confused, anger, sadist
Theme: Unrequited love
Instruments: Piano, Electric Guitar, Bass, Drum
Vocal: Me, I guess?
挣扎30天
痛苦3个月
以为终于等到了
他的答案
浪费了时间
弃下了逻辑
到头还是得不到
他的心
努力了这么久到头来还是一场空
明明在一起却还是会感到寂寞
独自付出一切真情真意没让他感动
只是留下空白的记忆陪着度过
为什么还不死心
他已经说对你没感情
为什么还在原地你不肯前进
捉住那快断的红线
你是否还在期待他会回头向你微笑
说一切都是个玩笑他在考验你
根本不可能
别在幻想了
别在痴情了
别在等待了
看似两个月
只有两星期
在一起的时间
是多么短暂
所有的感情
所有的过去
就算不再提起
每天在回忆
消遣了这么多时间歇斯底里为他想
偏偏他就对你的死活默不关心
曾经好几次都反复想要和他开口
但是就在最后关头你却在摇头
为什么说不出口
“分手”二字有何多痛苦？
为何不要一次过结束这难过
斩断那快断的红线
不要再为他顾虑这么多，马上放手
他不值得你再等候，大步向前走
但是不可能
没勇气放手
不想要放手
不舍得放手
过去的记忆
像CD Repeating
就算不去回忆
还是不停
清晰的旋律
荡漾在脑海里
幻想出的甜蜜
已经没心情再继续
为何还死心塌地
他不是说对你没感情？
为什么不要结束内心的折磨
看着那快断的红线
你是否在希望有奇迹出现把它填补
不理谁的阻扰劝阻继续在等待
就因为你不舍得
所以继续折腾你自己
就因为不想放弃选择了等待
追逐那快断的红线
不管他前面的路多么难受多么辛苦
你就是要走完这段非一般的旅途
不想要放弃
不想要放手
不肯向前走
因为还是爱着他
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
:: ドキドキしちゃう Aries Part 13 ::
Insert: 我可以抱你嗎 (by A-Mei)
I don’t get it.
I just don’t get it.
Why are you so cold?
Why do you looked like as if you dislike me?
I’m not sure.
I’m unconfirmed.
I’ve done so much thinking that I just don’t get it.
Just… Why…?
Is it just because of exam?
Or there are other reasons that you couldn’t say to me?
I just wanted to know, what is really wrong?
Is it my fault? Or other stuffs?
Is it personal? Or it’s work?
If it’s my fault, I will try to not do it again.
If it’s not my fault, I wish I could help you.
My heart is slowly being torn into pieces by your attitudes.
I just couldn’t understand.
I nearly show my true emotions to my friends,
When I shouldn’t, because it’s just not me if I’m like that.
And they thought I’m angry of them.
Although, yes,
I’m kinda angry if they’re trying to play me now.
But, it’s just not normal for me to just be angry like that.
“不勉強你再為了我 心不在 留不留都是痛”
Haiz…
I’m just so afraid…
If you’re just playing with me…
If you do not see me as a lover…
Just a normal person, or even a stranger.
But I’m utmost afraid…
If you hate me.
But if you really hate me, I can do nothing about it, right?
There’s no way to tell you to not hate me.
Even I’m not that afraid if you’re not really in love with me.
I mean…
Being hate by your loved one,
Is the most painful thing in the world…
Right?
I don’t even care about whether I could understand you 100% now.
I just want you to tell me, whether you hate me or not.
Although, you did say that you do not hate me.
I’m quite happy by that.
But…
I’m just scared…
That you will someday…
So… Can you tell me?
The reasons that you act like this towards me?
Just…
Why…?
“你也不得已 我會笑笑的離去”
I don’t get it.
I just don’t get it.
Why are you so cold?
Why do you looked like as if you dislike me?
I’m not sure.
I’m unconfirmed.
I’ve done so much thinking that I just don’t get it.
Just… Why…?
Is it just because of exam?
Or there are other reasons that you couldn’t say to me?
I just wanted to know, what is really wrong?
Is it my fault? Or other stuffs?
Is it personal? Or it’s work?
If it’s my fault, I will try to not do it again.
If it’s not my fault, I wish I could help you.
My heart is slowly being torn into pieces by your attitudes.
I just couldn’t understand.
I nearly show my true emotions to my friends,
When I shouldn’t, because it’s just not me if I’m like that.
And they thought I’m angry of them.
Although, yes,
I’m kinda angry if they’re trying to play me now.
But, it’s just not normal for me to just be angry like that.
“不勉強你再為了我 心不在 留不留都是痛”
Haiz…
I’m just so afraid…
If you’re just playing with me…
If you do not see me as a lover…
Just a normal person, or even a stranger.
But I’m utmost afraid…
If you hate me.
But if you really hate me, I can do nothing about it, right?
There’s no way to tell you to not hate me.
Even I’m not that afraid if you’re not really in love with me.
I mean…
Being hate by your loved one,
Is the most painful thing in the world…
Right?
I don’t even care about whether I could understand you 100% now.
I just want you to tell me, whether you hate me or not.
Although, you did say that you do not hate me.
I’m quite happy by that.
But…
I’m just scared…
That you will someday…
So… Can you tell me?
The reasons that you act like this towards me?
Just…
Why…?
“你也不得已 我會笑笑的離去”
Saturday, August 22, 2009
:: ドキドキしちゃう Aries Part 12 ::
理由は無い。
打电话向和你说话。。。
理由は無い。
如果真得要我讲出一个理由的话。。。
那就是。。。
我想听到你的声音。。。
就是那么简单。。。
就是那么容易。。。
但是。。。
又是最难，最复杂的一件事。。。
很怕你会觉得很闷。。。
很怕你会觉得我很烦。。。
很怕我会让你感到反感。。。
所以，我选择了只说出重点。
那么我的重点呢？
从哪里来？
只有Club 的事情。。。
很少说我的事情。。。
更少说你的事情。。。
因为。。。
我不想要让你烦。。。
你不想要让我知道（？）。。。
所以。。。
我们的距离。。。
越来越远了。。。
随着考试的压力。。。
随着那些人所给的眼光。。。
我。。。
你。。。
越来越远了。。。
这个假期。。。
见不到你。。。
是我最大的难受。。。
打电话给你，本以为可以好过一点。。。
怎知。。。
你的态度是如此的冷漠。。。
可能你不觉得。
但是，
我的心真得很痛。。。
很痛。。。
但是，你说你只想听到重点，那么。。。
我就只说重点好了。
因为你说。。。
你不想要啰里啰唆的事情，很烦。
所以。。。
我苦笑了。
我就也不让你烦。
因为，我不想要你觉得不爽。。。
不想要有看到你为不重要的东西而烦。
所以。。。
我塑短了一天需要和你说话的时间。。。
从2小时30分。。。
变成了2分钟30秒。。。
是没有计算过没错，
但是，我的心情，就像2分钟30秒般。。。
觉得好短。。。
缺少了很多。。。
但是，这未必不是件好事。。。
因为，为了考试而承受着压力的你，
终于有些休息的时间了。。。
我还是不要打扰你吧。。。
ねえ、ご主人様。。。
あたしの気持いは知ってるの？
可能你知道，可能你不知道。。。
但是，
无论你知不知道，
我还是会说一句话。。。
愛している。
打电话向和你说话。。。
理由は無い。
如果真得要我讲出一个理由的话。。。
那就是。。。
我想听到你的声音。。。
就是那么简单。。。
就是那么容易。。。
但是。。。
又是最难，最复杂的一件事。。。
很怕你会觉得很闷。。。
很怕你会觉得我很烦。。。
很怕我会让你感到反感。。。
所以，我选择了只说出重点。
那么我的重点呢？
从哪里来？
只有Club 的事情。。。
很少说我的事情。。。
更少说你的事情。。。
因为。。。
我不想要让你烦。。。
你不想要让我知道（？）。。。
所以。。。
我们的距离。。。
越来越远了。。。
随着考试的压力。。。
随着那些人所给的眼光。。。
我。。。
你。。。
越来越远了。。。
这个假期。。。
见不到你。。。
是我最大的难受。。。
打电话给你，本以为可以好过一点。。。
怎知。。。
你的态度是如此的冷漠。。。
可能你不觉得。
但是，
我的心真得很痛。。。
很痛。。。
但是，你说你只想听到重点，那么。。。
我就只说重点好了。
因为你说。。。
你不想要啰里啰唆的事情，很烦。
所以。。。
我苦笑了。
我就也不让你烦。
因为，我不想要你觉得不爽。。。
不想要有看到你为不重要的东西而烦。
所以。。。
我塑短了一天需要和你说话的时间。。。
从2小时30分。。。
变成了2分钟30秒。。。
是没有计算过没错，
但是，我的心情，就像2分钟30秒般。。。
觉得好短。。。
缺少了很多。。。
但是，这未必不是件好事。。。
因为，为了考试而承受着压力的你，
终于有些休息的时间了。。。
我还是不要打扰你吧。。。
ねえ、ご主人様。。。
あたしの気持いは知ってるの？
可能你知道，可能你不知道。。。
但是，
无论你知不知道，
我还是会说一句话。。。
愛している。
Sunday, August 16, 2009
:: 今週のAries – 嬉しい ::
Insert: Give Me Up (by Tamaki Nami)
Ahh~ How much I love this song~ XD Okay, skip that.
The whole week had a lots of funs, and a lots of troubles.
The good part of this week has… plenty? XD
First of all,
Pn. Lim agreed to let us make the Vampire Knight uniform for us to wear during Hajimari no Aki.
Then, I have finally finished doing, and typing the whole project and handed into Pn. Patricia.
Although she did not said that she approved it, but she’s going to discuss with Pn. Lim.
It means… THIS PROJECT WILL GO WELL!!! YES!!!
Mwahahahaha~~~ My efforts didn’t go wasted!!!
~ Getsuyoubi ~
On Monday, we went to Kou’s house and see him make his experimental toast.
It’s quite nice, yes, but… =w= It requires a lot of time and stuffs… Haiz…
That fella and I were waiting in his room.
What the heck, he told me not to do anything weird!
As if he’s not doing anything weird outside from the room!
With Zen!!! =w=
Grr… I hate him for some reasons…
But thanks to Zen, I have a REALLY good time with that fella~ Nyan~ ^w^
Well, Zen drove us to the Guitar Store to buy the bass.
So on the car, that fella and I were sitting on the back.
We’re like playing and talking…
Then suddenly that fella talked about one topic, and made me go “Nyan”.
The embarrased style of “Nyan”, or the guilty “Nyan”, I forgot…
Then…
I can’t believe that fella let me sleep on!
No, to be exact, I can’t believe that fella put one arm around my neck…
And dragged me to be closer towards the… chest?
Okay, it’s not exactly the chest.
It’s above the chest.
I’m not that short. =w=
Then, that fella go and pet my head, and said:
“He la, he la. (Hokkien? Not sure)”
So I rested my head on that fella’s… above the chest.
(Seriously, what does that part called as? The bone part? =w=)
It feels so good~
But it ends very quickly.
Why?
Thanks to some certain idiots in front of me,
Playing and acting so closely with each other!!!
Makes me feel weird all of the sudden, and blurted out.
“Err… Okay, it’s weird.”
Then that fella replied me while taking the arm back.
“You also know hor.”
Argh! My arm! Ah, no. I mean, that fella’s arm! =w=
It’s not circling me anymore!!! +w+
Grr… I hate you Kou!!! I shall blame you with this!!! \w/
Mrrrraaaaaaaawwwwwwww!!!!!! *glares*
So, we’re in Guitar Store after that.
It’s a bass that we wanted to buy.
But that fella didn’t have much money, so I kind of borrow first.
Well, although that fella DID tell me that returning the money is like…
Several 100 years later.
But I paid for it anyway. Haha.
And I do thought of buying that as a gift… Hahaha…
(And I was scolded for saying so. X3
Although I received a pet very soon too. ^w^)
The most amazing thing of that fella is that…
The bass’ original price is RM890.
But is cut down to RM770 (I think, or lower than that owO)
OMG… How can that fella did that?!?!
What did that fella said to the shop owner?!?! Owo
I was kind of shocked when I saw the final price…
After adding in all those champlang stuffs…
Like the bags and all that…
It’s not even the original price of the bass!!!
It’s just RM850-+!!!
OMG!!! OwO
Okay, that fella is really a Kami-sama… =w=
Sasuga goshujin-sama… Sugoi!!! ‘w’
After buying the bass,
we decided to go to Giant in Connaught to see the prices.
So we’re in Zen’s car again.
And… All 4 of us are again, in a very lovely matter.
If I can say that?
Well, at least those 2 in front of us are. =w=
Hate them.
Especially when we’re in Giant.
I can’t believe they’re like, kissing in front of me!!!
GRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
And I’m like making a big fuss out of it.
That fella heard me, but didn’t know what’s wrong.
So those 2 were asked to do it again,
Against my damn protest about doing it again.
Don’t want to see it again, I quickly walk out.
I knew they did it, and that fella only “Oh”ed at it.
How unemotional. =w=
So after that, Kou asked that fella.
“Ei, you don’t mind kissing with people?”
“Of course. It’s not the first time anyway.”
Then Kou looked at me one kind, and I nodded.
I knew it for a long time.
Well, that fella told me anyway.
Right after Shirly asked me to ask that fella.
So… That fella told me. Yeah.
Although I acted nothing, but actually I’m kind of…
Jealous.
Yeah. That’s the best word… I think?
Because it’s not something that hurts me, but…
Hmm…
Not sure. It’s kinda sour-ish…
So…
Maybe?
Haiz…
Then I’m alone with Zen for a while,
As Kou and that fella are looking at those prices.
So we’re like talking about our relationships.
“Why do you give out so much to that fella?” He asked.
“Hmm… Dunno? Because… I feel like it?”
“You’ll regret later.”
“Ha, talk about yourself.”
“Haiz. I’m very painful now, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.”
Then we’re going to talk more about it,
But Kou and that fella looked back at us.
They have the “What?” look at us, but we shook it off.
Haha?
“Even if you don’t feel anything for me.”
Heh, that fella will never know how I really felt.
To be by side.
To be together.
“Atashi, mada, anata no soba ni itai.”
To be the one that wants the other to be happy.
To be the one that wished self to be happy,
But knows that its hard to achieve.
Still, I’m happy to be with that fella.
“Just because I’m in love with you”
But…
Hey, do you know?
How much that I love you?
How much that I think of you?
To be held by you…
To be whispered by you…
To be with you…
“Nee, shitteru?”
Ahaha, another song of mine.
Okay, don’t mind that, skip~
~ Doyoubi ~
Then... Saturday, my best day...
(And a small event made it turn into a semi-bad day in the week.)
I'm able to go on a date with that fella!!! Nya~n!!! ^w^
I purposely put on an entirely different me up too.
By making myself look more girlish than usual.
Although in Hip-Hop style XD
That didn't waste my 1 hour effort in picking the best clothing.
(That fella said that I'm kawaii~~~ see below.)
Mwahahahaha~~~
I'm so happy 'bout it.
Of course, I didn't put on the happy face...
Just kept on “Yes! Yosya!! Yatta!!!” in my mind.
Hahas?
When we're in Zen's car, we're acting lovely duey again~
Heheheh~
This time, I'm able to sleep longer in that fella's...
Above chest. X3
And... I'm able to pull the arm closer and feel it with my lips.
Damn!!!
It's so smooth!
Yet the master of the arm said it's not...
And mine's smoother.
Huh...
I do think that that fella's arm is smoother though...
We're on Zen's car, and the music is loud like hell.
I can't hear a single word what Kou is talking 'bout.
Then, we're talking about something,
That makes me chose to listen finish Halo first,
Before answering them.
I think it's something that embarrassed me... X3
Anyway, at the back, we decided to move towards the left,
'cause the sun in on the right,
And that fella hates the sun.
So we sat closer, and that feel is really good~
Heheh~
It's not long until we reach times square car park.
Then, we began to notice that there's animal patterns on the pillars.
We're making so much fun out of it. Haha~
The first thing that I do when I straight come down from the car is...
Hold that fella's arm.
Well, since that fella didn't mind, so I just hold it.
Often, I complimented about the skin,
Saying that it's smooth, and rub mine with it.
OMG, the feel is just so good~
(Okay, please don't think pervy. It's just arm to arm.)
I can nearly imagine myself with love patterns all around my head.
Nya~n~
Can't help but meow'ed out~
Hmm… Basically, we just kept on roaming around without a purpose.
Not really that exciting, if you ask me.
And that fella just stop by any bookstores that was spotted.
Haiz…
But I’m still happy, to be with that fella.
At least I can grab on the arm for the whole day ^w^
But one thing for sure is that…
Most stuffs in the food court is UNEDIBLE.
Okay, maybe not that much, but they sucks =w=
Do not simply buy any food.
Of course, you can try out the Italian Food.
Kou said that it’s nice (although he chose other food that day…)
Some bad foods to note are…
The western food that’s cooked by the Malays,
Which they use the BBQ like thing to grill the foods…
Eww…
Never want to eat that again…
After eating, we went and look for A1 Taylor’s location.
But when we phoned them, they said that they’re near Bkt. Bintang.
Not in times.
=w=
What the heck?!
…Haiz, fine.
Well, we ended up in the place where the Japanese Food Fare is held.
Yay~ I grabbed plenty stuffs there~
Mwahahahaha~
I grabbed a lot of chocos, the ingredients to cook cold soba…
And I grab the foods without any limit. =w=
Whatever I see the stuffs that I wanted,
I just grab it and threw them into the basket…
That fella looked at me like this. O0O
Ahahaha… >w>
Ended up… The total is…
RM170++
OMG… OwO
I shocked at that moment…
What’s more heartbreaking than that is…
I accidentally broke a huge glass of wine that cost RM62++
TwT
There goes my items… Giving back to the person…
5555~ TwT
And that basically turn the day quite bad.
But we quickly get over it.
We decided to choose a place to calculate the prices for everything.
So we went to Old Town and take a break there.
The best thing is…
Kou decided to belanja us ^w^
Sankyu ne, Kou~
Still…
I can’t believe that fella ate the egg yorks without anything…
And the worst thing about it is the egg whites are not being eaten…
And what’s next?
Kou and I grabbed the plate away, and stopped the crime (?!).
The law of eating the half-boiled egg is to add the spices in…
WHEN IT’S HALF RAW!!! =w=
This egg… It’s like… 80% cooked…
Haiz…
But it’s still nice. Somehow…
Eggs are always nice… I think?
Yeah…
After the short break, we decided to go back to LM.
We’re in Zen’s car again.
Phew… I’m so tired…
Feel like sleeping…
Then…
I’m in that fella’s embrace again.
Ahhh… This feel is just so nice…
I can smell the scent of the shampoo from here.
Ehehe~ ^///^
Then I asked that fella…
“Do you know why I dressed up like this today?”
“Hmm… Is it because you heard I said something?”
“Mmm… you said a lot of things…
Like…
‘You wear like this will be very kawaii…”
“Yeah. It is cute.”
Nya~n~ I’m smiling inside my heart that moment~
There's more stuffs after that, but I don't want to spread it out...
Not now.
Eheheh~
When we arrived in Leisure, we went to find that fella’s brother.
Well, that fella got no one to fetch back,
So is forced to stay in Leisure until 9.30p.m.
Of course, I wished to stay back beside,
So I phoned my bro and tell him I’m staying.
Since that time is about 6 something,
And that fella’s brother is going to watch a movie,
We decided to watch a movie too.
灵灵狗。
It’s a very hilarious comedy~
But it lacks of a plot, seriously.
Though I have fun in there…
Once again, the arm is embracing me,
Half way through, that fella looked at me,
“Erm… You… Haiz. Nevermind la. You’ll be freeze to death.”
I think I know what does it means, so I hold on the hand.
Wow… It’s so freezing cold…
So I decided to warm it up, although that fella did warned.
“Don’t touch me, it’s very cold. You’ll freeze to death.”
I did not say another single word, but just grabbed on the hand.
Trying to warm it up.
Until I realize my hands wasn’t enough.
And I have this thought of…
Putting it into my chest. @///@
Okay, that’s not going to happen.
So instead of that, I just use my face to warm it up.
Haha?
Better than using the chest, right? >w>
After the very hilarious movie, we went out.
Still, I'm not satisfied with this...
I wished to have more...
And more...
And more...
Am I a bit greedy?
=w=
I guess so...
~ Mainichi… ~
Speaking of which,
I’m very curious about whether that fella mind me to hold hands with.
I sms’ed like this (Of course I took out all the not important details)
“Hey, do you mind if I hold hands?”
Immediately, I got the reply…
“With who?”
Huh… I was sleeping already… (I expect no reply…)
“With you la who else!”
“Why should I mind?
Wei, you actually want more is it?
If not why Kou ask so?
Well, when I say I don’t mind I mean it.”
The next thing I do, is to phone, and said.
“Kou is just kidding la. Don’t take it serious!”
But then, I was asked back.
“Even though it's a joke, don't you want it?”
Well, of course I wanted it!!!
Who the heck do not want a kiss from their loved one?!
=w=
But...
Want is want...
Whether you can do it, it's still a problem.
“What 'can do it'? If you really want, I'm fine with it.”
Maybe, you're fine with it.
But... I'm not.
I don't know.
When I knew that I'm allowed to, I'm happy.
Yet, it felt different.
I just can't allow myself to do this.
Don't ask why...
Because I don't know.
Perhaps...
Maybe it's because that fella is not serious?
Or maybe that fella think that is serious enough,
But it's not, actually.
To me, that fella is just half-experimenting.
Maybe that's why I chose to be in a distance.
Maybe that's why I chose to not think of those stuffs...
But the funny thing about us is that...
We actually talked about what will happen to us in the future.
Owo
I know.
It's weird.
And...
The conversation and discussion is weird, too...
I even told that fella 'bout the stuffs of my family...
(Hmm… Those stuffs I’ve noted in the blog.)
And...
Talked until midnight 1a.m...
=w=
Uhuh...
So damn tired the next day…
~ Kyou: 11/8 ~
Then today…
I ponteng my class alongside with that fella,
In my empty class.
In the outside, we looked like we’re discussing about club stuffs.
But in the inside, we’re actually talking about…
“What the stuffs that you don’t eat?”
“Ello miss, the stuffs I don’t eat are a lot okay?”
“I know. Okay la. Then… What’re the stuffs you eat?”
“Erm… Ahaha… Think a lil’, those I eat are a lot too…”
=w= What the… Okay…?
“Hmm… I eat… Maybe… Prawns? Ahh, prawns are good~
You peel the shells, and eat it like that, it’s really good~”
By the time that fella mentioned prawn, I’ve already write it down.
The procedure of how to prepare the prawn, I’ve also written down.
Every words and every important details, I did not missed out.
Since when I’m so fond of cooking?
Well…
As soon as I knew that that fella likes the Cold Soba I made,
I have this thought of:
“Okay, I’m going to make for that fella everyday.”
Perhaps… I’m really fond of that fella.
And that’s why… I did so much about it…
But then, I was asked.
“Actually… Why do you want to do so much?
Why do you want to go through all the troubles?”
“Hmm? Just… For fun?”
For fun, is not an answer, actually…
“I did it just for you.”
This is my true answer.
But… I don’t know why, I just twist my answer.
Hmm…
Can’t I be straightforward towards that fella?
I don’t know…
Perhaps, I’m still afraid.
Afraid of that fella, afraid of myself.
Or…
Hmm…
Maybe it’s because the environment doesn’t allow me to be straightforward?
Just because…
There’s a lot of students around there when I’m being asked?
Hmm…
Maybe…
Still…
I can’t help but thinking…
Am I worthy to be alongside that fella?
Can I protect that fella?
Does that fella liked me back?
Or just being “coorperative” with me, play this “game” with me?
Or…
That fella just don’t mind me at all?
Haiz…
I really do not know…
I’m so damn blurred…
Perhaps someone around me can give me the answer.
If they knew who that fella is,
If they knew all about that fella,
If they knew the whole situation.
But the point is, no one knows about it.
So no one can give me the answer.
No one but that fella.
No, I don’t think that fella even know what self is thinking.
So I’m alone again.
To think this by my own self…
Although it’s a good thing, somehow…
Haiz…
I’m not going to sleep tonight…
But…
At least I can phone that fella?
Hmm…
Haha, peace out for now~
> Nee, Shitteru?
Genre: Pop
Tone: Kinda sour-ish
Theme: Confused love???
Instruments: Electric Guitar, Drum, Bass, Keyboard
Vocal: Me
ねえ、知ってる？
貴方の事をどんな好きで？
何時までも
貴方の事を考えて
朝から夜に
何処までも貴方の事を
あたしの心にずっと考えて
今、貴方を会いたいよ
貴方と一緒欲しいよ
こんな近くでも
如何して遠い見たいの？
何故、一緒に駄目だよ？
まだ恋人じゃないの？
訊ねる欲しいよ
でも怖かったよ
ねえ、知ってる？
ねえ、知ってる？
貴方の事をどんな気にって？
何処までも
あたしだけと一緒欲しいよ
多分嫉妬でしょ？
貴方とあたし以外の人一緒
だってその時あたし不安に感じた
今、あたし達の関係は
一体何だろうか？
こんな近くでも
まだ遠い見たいよ
何故、説明に駄目だよ？
あたし本とに知らないよ
あと少しの日々
もう時間ないだよ
ねえ、知ってる？
ねえ、あたしの言葉は
届けたい出きるか？
その時貴方の
答え何だろうか？
今、貴方を会いたいよ
貴方と一緒欲しいよ
こんな近くでも
如何して遠い見たいの？
何故、一緒に駄目だよ？
まだ恋人じゃないの？
訊ねる欲しいよ
でも怖かったよ
今、あたし達の関係は
一体何だろうか？
こんな近くでも
まだ遠い見たいよ
何故、説明に駄目だよ？
あたし本とに知らないよ
あと少しの日々
もう時間ないだよ
ねえ、知ってる？
ねえ、知ってる？
あたしの思いを
ねえ、知ってる？
Ahh~ How much I love this song~ XD Okay, skip that.
The whole week had a lots of funs, and a lots of troubles.
The good part of this week has… plenty? XD
First of all,
Pn. Lim agreed to let us make the Vampire Knight uniform for us to wear during Hajimari no Aki.
Then, I have finally finished doing, and typing the whole project and handed into Pn. Patricia.
Although she did not said that she approved it, but she’s going to discuss with Pn. Lim.
It means… THIS PROJECT WILL GO WELL!!! YES!!!
Mwahahahaha~~~ My efforts didn’t go wasted!!!
~ Getsuyoubi ~
On Monday, we went to Kou’s house and see him make his experimental toast.
It’s quite nice, yes, but… =w= It requires a lot of time and stuffs… Haiz…
That fella and I were waiting in his room.
What the heck, he told me not to do anything weird!
As if he’s not doing anything weird outside from the room!
With Zen!!! =w=
Grr… I hate him for some reasons…
But thanks to Zen, I have a REALLY good time with that fella~ Nyan~ ^w^
Well, Zen drove us to the Guitar Store to buy the bass.
So on the car, that fella and I were sitting on the back.
We’re like playing and talking…
Then suddenly that fella talked about one topic, and made me go “Nyan”.
The embarrased style of “Nyan”, or the guilty “Nyan”, I forgot…
Then…
I can’t believe that fella let me sleep on!
No, to be exact, I can’t believe that fella put one arm around my neck…
And dragged me to be closer towards the… chest?
Okay, it’s not exactly the chest.
It’s above the chest.
I’m not that short. =w=
Then, that fella go and pet my head, and said:
“He la, he la. (Hokkien? Not sure)”
So I rested my head on that fella’s… above the chest.
(Seriously, what does that part called as? The bone part? =w=)
It feels so good~
But it ends very quickly.
Why?
Thanks to some certain idiots in front of me,
Playing and acting so closely with each other!!!
Makes me feel weird all of the sudden, and blurted out.
“Err… Okay, it’s weird.”
Then that fella replied me while taking the arm back.
“You also know hor.”
Argh! My arm! Ah, no. I mean, that fella’s arm! =w=
It’s not circling me anymore!!! +w+
Grr… I hate you Kou!!! I shall blame you with this!!! \w/
Mrrrraaaaaaaawwwwwwww!!!!!! *glares*
So, we’re in Guitar Store after that.
It’s a bass that we wanted to buy.
But that fella didn’t have much money, so I kind of borrow first.
Well, although that fella DID tell me that returning the money is like…
Several 100 years later.
But I paid for it anyway. Haha.
And I do thought of buying that as a gift… Hahaha…
(And I was scolded for saying so. X3
Although I received a pet very soon too. ^w^)
The most amazing thing of that fella is that…
The bass’ original price is RM890.
But is cut down to RM770 (I think, or lower than that owO)
OMG… How can that fella did that?!?!
What did that fella said to the shop owner?!?! Owo
I was kind of shocked when I saw the final price…
After adding in all those champlang stuffs…
Like the bags and all that…
It’s not even the original price of the bass!!!
It’s just RM850-+!!!
OMG!!! OwO
Okay, that fella is really a Kami-sama… =w=
Sasuga goshujin-sama… Sugoi!!! ‘w’
After buying the bass,
we decided to go to Giant in Connaught to see the prices.
So we’re in Zen’s car again.
And… All 4 of us are again, in a very lovely matter.
If I can say that?
Well, at least those 2 in front of us are. =w=
Hate them.
Especially when we’re in Giant.
I can’t believe they’re like, kissing in front of me!!!
GRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
And I’m like making a big fuss out of it.
That fella heard me, but didn’t know what’s wrong.
So those 2 were asked to do it again,
Against my damn protest about doing it again.
Don’t want to see it again, I quickly walk out.
I knew they did it, and that fella only “Oh”ed at it.
How unemotional. =w=
So after that, Kou asked that fella.
“Ei, you don’t mind kissing with people?”
“Of course. It’s not the first time anyway.”
Then Kou looked at me one kind, and I nodded.
I knew it for a long time.
Well, that fella told me anyway.
Right after Shirly asked me to ask that fella.
So… That fella told me. Yeah.
Although I acted nothing, but actually I’m kind of…
Jealous.
Yeah. That’s the best word… I think?
Because it’s not something that hurts me, but…
Hmm…
Not sure. It’s kinda sour-ish…
So…
Maybe?
Haiz…
Then I’m alone with Zen for a while,
As Kou and that fella are looking at those prices.
So we’re like talking about our relationships.
“Why do you give out so much to that fella?” He asked.
“Hmm… Dunno? Because… I feel like it?”
“You’ll regret later.”
“Ha, talk about yourself.”
“Haiz. I’m very painful now, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.”
Then we’re going to talk more about it,
But Kou and that fella looked back at us.
They have the “What?” look at us, but we shook it off.
Haha?
“Even if you don’t feel anything for me.”
Heh, that fella will never know how I really felt.
To be by side.
To be together.
“Atashi, mada, anata no soba ni itai.”
To be the one that wants the other to be happy.
To be the one that wished self to be happy,
But knows that its hard to achieve.
Still, I’m happy to be with that fella.
“Just because I’m in love with you”
But…
Hey, do you know?
How much that I love you?
How much that I think of you?
To be held by you…
To be whispered by you…
To be with you…
“Nee, shitteru?”
Ahaha, another song of mine.
Okay, don’t mind that, skip~
~ Doyoubi ~
Then... Saturday, my best day...
(And a small event made it turn into a semi-bad day in the week.)
I'm able to go on a date with that fella!!! Nya~n!!! ^w^
I purposely put on an entirely different me up too.
By making myself look more girlish than usual.
Although in Hip-Hop style XD
That didn't waste my 1 hour effort in picking the best clothing.
(That fella said that I'm kawaii~~~ see below.)
Mwahahahaha~~~
I'm so happy 'bout it.
Of course, I didn't put on the happy face...
Just kept on “Yes! Yosya!! Yatta!!!” in my mind.
Hahas?
When we're in Zen's car, we're acting lovely duey again~
Heheheh~
This time, I'm able to sleep longer in that fella's...
Above chest. X3
And... I'm able to pull the arm closer and feel it with my lips.
Damn!!!
It's so smooth!
Yet the master of the arm said it's not...
And mine's smoother.
Huh...
I do think that that fella's arm is smoother though...
We're on Zen's car, and the music is loud like hell.
I can't hear a single word what Kou is talking 'bout.
Then, we're talking about something,
That makes me chose to listen finish Halo first,
Before answering them.
I think it's something that embarrassed me... X3
Anyway, at the back, we decided to move towards the left,
'cause the sun in on the right,
And that fella hates the sun.
So we sat closer, and that feel is really good~
Heheh~
It's not long until we reach times square car park.
Then, we began to notice that there's animal patterns on the pillars.
We're making so much fun out of it. Haha~
The first thing that I do when I straight come down from the car is...
Hold that fella's arm.
Well, since that fella didn't mind, so I just hold it.
Often, I complimented about the skin,
Saying that it's smooth, and rub mine with it.
OMG, the feel is just so good~
(Okay, please don't think pervy. It's just arm to arm.)
I can nearly imagine myself with love patterns all around my head.
Nya~n~
Can't help but meow'ed out~
Hmm… Basically, we just kept on roaming around without a purpose.
Not really that exciting, if you ask me.
And that fella just stop by any bookstores that was spotted.
Haiz…
But I’m still happy, to be with that fella.
At least I can grab on the arm for the whole day ^w^
But one thing for sure is that…
Most stuffs in the food court is UNEDIBLE.
Okay, maybe not that much, but they sucks =w=
Do not simply buy any food.
Of course, you can try out the Italian Food.
Kou said that it’s nice (although he chose other food that day…)
Some bad foods to note are…
The western food that’s cooked by the Malays,
Which they use the BBQ like thing to grill the foods…
Eww…
Never want to eat that again…
After eating, we went and look for A1 Taylor’s location.
But when we phoned them, they said that they’re near Bkt. Bintang.
Not in times.
=w=
What the heck?!
…Haiz, fine.
Well, we ended up in the place where the Japanese Food Fare is held.
Yay~ I grabbed plenty stuffs there~
Mwahahahaha~
I grabbed a lot of chocos, the ingredients to cook cold soba…
And I grab the foods without any limit. =w=
Whatever I see the stuffs that I wanted,
I just grab it and threw them into the basket…
That fella looked at me like this. O0O
Ahahaha… >w>
Ended up… The total is…
RM170++
OMG… OwO
I shocked at that moment…
What’s more heartbreaking than that is…
I accidentally broke a huge glass of wine that cost RM62++
TwT
There goes my items… Giving back to the person…
5555~ TwT
And that basically turn the day quite bad.
But we quickly get over it.
We decided to choose a place to calculate the prices for everything.
So we went to Old Town and take a break there.
The best thing is…
Kou decided to belanja us ^w^
Sankyu ne, Kou~
Still…
I can’t believe that fella ate the egg yorks without anything…
And the worst thing about it is the egg whites are not being eaten…
And what’s next?
Kou and I grabbed the plate away, and stopped the crime (?!).
The law of eating the half-boiled egg is to add the spices in…
WHEN IT’S HALF RAW!!! =w=
This egg… It’s like… 80% cooked…
Haiz…
But it’s still nice. Somehow…
Eggs are always nice… I think?
Yeah…
After the short break, we decided to go back to LM.
We’re in Zen’s car again.
Phew… I’m so tired…
Feel like sleeping…
Then…
I’m in that fella’s embrace again.
Ahhh… This feel is just so nice…
I can smell the scent of the shampoo from here.
Ehehe~ ^///^
Then I asked that fella…
“Do you know why I dressed up like this today?”
“Hmm… Is it because you heard I said something?”
“Mmm… you said a lot of things…
Like…
‘You wear like this will be very kawaii…”
“Yeah. It is cute.”
Nya~n~ I’m smiling inside my heart that moment~
There's more stuffs after that, but I don't want to spread it out...
Not now.
Eheheh~
When we arrived in Leisure, we went to find that fella’s brother.
Well, that fella got no one to fetch back,
So is forced to stay in Leisure until 9.30p.m.
Of course, I wished to stay back beside,
So I phoned my bro and tell him I’m staying.
Since that time is about 6 something,
And that fella’s brother is going to watch a movie,
We decided to watch a movie too.
灵灵狗。
It’s a very hilarious comedy~
But it lacks of a plot, seriously.
Though I have fun in there…
Once again, the arm is embracing me,
Half way through, that fella looked at me,
“Erm… You… Haiz. Nevermind la. You’ll be freeze to death.”
I think I know what does it means, so I hold on the hand.
Wow… It’s so freezing cold…
So I decided to warm it up, although that fella did warned.
“Don’t touch me, it’s very cold. You’ll freeze to death.”
I did not say another single word, but just grabbed on the hand.
Trying to warm it up.
Until I realize my hands wasn’t enough.
And I have this thought of…
Putting it into my chest. @///@
Okay, that’s not going to happen.
So instead of that, I just use my face to warm it up.
Haha?
Better than using the chest, right? >w>
After the very hilarious movie, we went out.
Still, I'm not satisfied with this...
I wished to have more...
And more...
And more...
Am I a bit greedy?
=w=
I guess so...
~ Mainichi… ~
Speaking of which,
I’m very curious about whether that fella mind me to hold hands with.
I sms’ed like this (Of course I took out all the not important details)
“Hey, do you mind if I hold hands?”
Immediately, I got the reply…
“With who?”
Huh… I was sleeping already… (I expect no reply…)
“With you la who else!”
“Why should I mind?
Wei, you actually want more is it?
If not why Kou ask so?
Well, when I say I don’t mind I mean it.”
The next thing I do, is to phone, and said.
“Kou is just kidding la. Don’t take it serious!”
But then, I was asked back.
“Even though it's a joke, don't you want it?”
Well, of course I wanted it!!!
Who the heck do not want a kiss from their loved one?!
=w=
But...
Want is want...
Whether you can do it, it's still a problem.
“What 'can do it'? If you really want, I'm fine with it.”
Maybe, you're fine with it.
But... I'm not.
I don't know.
When I knew that I'm allowed to, I'm happy.
Yet, it felt different.
I just can't allow myself to do this.
Don't ask why...
Because I don't know.
Perhaps...
Maybe it's because that fella is not serious?
Or maybe that fella think that is serious enough,
But it's not, actually.
To me, that fella is just half-experimenting.
Maybe that's why I chose to be in a distance.
Maybe that's why I chose to not think of those stuffs...
But the funny thing about us is that...
We actually talked about what will happen to us in the future.
Owo
I know.
It's weird.
And...
The conversation and discussion is weird, too...
I even told that fella 'bout the stuffs of my family...
(Hmm… Those stuffs I’ve noted in the blog.)
And...
Talked until midnight 1a.m...
=w=
Uhuh...
So damn tired the next day…
~ Kyou: 11/8 ~
Then today…
I ponteng my class alongside with that fella,
In my empty class.
In the outside, we looked like we’re discussing about club stuffs.
But in the inside, we’re actually talking about…
“What the stuffs that you don’t eat?”
“Ello miss, the stuffs I don’t eat are a lot okay?”
“I know. Okay la. Then… What’re the stuffs you eat?”
“Erm… Ahaha… Think a lil’, those I eat are a lot too…”
=w= What the… Okay…?
“Hmm… I eat… Maybe… Prawns? Ahh, prawns are good~
You peel the shells, and eat it like that, it’s really good~”
By the time that fella mentioned prawn, I’ve already write it down.
The procedure of how to prepare the prawn, I’ve also written down.
Every words and every important details, I did not missed out.
Since when I’m so fond of cooking?
Well…
As soon as I knew that that fella likes the Cold Soba I made,
I have this thought of:
“Okay, I’m going to make for that fella everyday.”
Perhaps… I’m really fond of that fella.
And that’s why… I did so much about it…
But then, I was asked.
“Actually… Why do you want to do so much?
Why do you want to go through all the troubles?”
“Hmm? Just… For fun?”
For fun, is not an answer, actually…
“I did it just for you.”
This is my true answer.
But… I don’t know why, I just twist my answer.
Hmm…
Can’t I be straightforward towards that fella?
I don’t know…
Perhaps, I’m still afraid.
Afraid of that fella, afraid of myself.
Or…
Hmm…
Maybe it’s because the environment doesn’t allow me to be straightforward?
Just because…
There’s a lot of students around there when I’m being asked?
Hmm…
Maybe…
Still…
I can’t help but thinking…
Am I worthy to be alongside that fella?
Can I protect that fella?
Does that fella liked me back?
Or just being “coorperative” with me, play this “game” with me?
Or…
That fella just don’t mind me at all?
Haiz…
I really do not know…
I’m so damn blurred…
Perhaps someone around me can give me the answer.
If they knew who that fella is,
If they knew all about that fella,
If they knew the whole situation.
But the point is, no one knows about it.
So no one can give me the answer.
No one but that fella.
No, I don’t think that fella even know what self is thinking.
So I’m alone again.
To think this by my own self…
Although it’s a good thing, somehow…
Haiz…
I’m not going to sleep tonight…
But…
At least I can phone that fella?
Hmm…
Haha, peace out for now~
> Nee, Shitteru?
Genre: Pop
Tone: Kinda sour-ish
Theme: Confused love???
Instruments: Electric Guitar, Drum, Bass, Keyboard
Vocal: Me
ねえ、知ってる？
貴方の事をどんな好きで？
何時までも
貴方の事を考えて
朝から夜に
何処までも貴方の事を
あたしの心にずっと考えて
今、貴方を会いたいよ
貴方と一緒欲しいよ
こんな近くでも
如何して遠い見たいの？
何故、一緒に駄目だよ？
まだ恋人じゃないの？
訊ねる欲しいよ
でも怖かったよ
ねえ、知ってる？
ねえ、知ってる？
貴方の事をどんな気にって？
何処までも
あたしだけと一緒欲しいよ
多分嫉妬でしょ？
貴方とあたし以外の人一緒
だってその時あたし不安に感じた
今、あたし達の関係は
一体何だろうか？
こんな近くでも
まだ遠い見たいよ
何故、説明に駄目だよ？
あたし本とに知らないよ
あと少しの日々
もう時間ないだよ
ねえ、知ってる？
ねえ、あたしの言葉は
届けたい出きるか？
その時貴方の
答え何だろうか？
今、貴方を会いたいよ
貴方と一緒欲しいよ
こんな近くでも
如何して遠い見たいの？
何故、一緒に駄目だよ？
まだ恋人じゃないの？
訊ねる欲しいよ
でも怖かったよ
今、あたし達の関係は
一体何だろうか？
こんな近くでも
まだ遠い見たいよ
何故、説明に駄目だよ？
あたし本とに知らないよ
あと少しの日々
もう時間ないだよ
ねえ、知ってる？
ねえ、知ってる？
あたしの思いを
ねえ、知ってる？
Monday, July 20, 2009
:: 嬉しいAries Part 6 ::
Insert: Ai TA Kokoro (by UVERworld)
OHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH~~~
SINGING COMPETITION BANZAI~~~~~~
BON ODORI BANZAI~~~~~~
MWAHAHAHAHA~~~~~~
18 July, will be one of my best day ever…
If it wasn’t because of the business before going to Bon Odori,
And returning to the school…
It is really, really, my best day EVER!!!!!!
What happened that day?
Okay, in the morning, it’s the singing competition.
Alex sang better than usual that day,
Except for the last part.
But it’s okay, at least most of the pitching is good.
Then… The happiest thing ever…
BOTH OF MY SOLO AND DUET ENTERED FINAL!!!!!!
MWAHAHAHAHAHA~~~
When Yuki asked, she said, “果然会进了的啦。”
Wow… Sounds like my performance that day really IS good.
Mwahahahaha~
But not good enough.
The first part of my solo wasn’t good enough.
The emotion in the chorus part wasn’t good enough too.
Hmm…
I really need to take some time out to practise kao kao…
Especially the duet song…
Haiz.
Alex~ Can you make it or not!? XO
After the competition, it’s the class photo session.
Heck, I don’t really like these kind of stuffs…
Whatever la.
I take 2 or 3 photo then ciao liao.
I really don’t feel like taking anymore…
Going back to home with Shirly,
We quickly change and prepare for…
BON ODORI!!!
But it wasn’t as fun as I thought…
Because I’m the organizer for the bus =w=
I need to ensure everyone is on then we baru can go.
So… Well… Haiz…
Oh well.
Rin didn’t manage to go that day,
And I can’t even call her phone.
Geh…
Me, Yuki, and Amaya were busying around…
Ticking names, taking down their phone numbers…
Blah blah blah…
I was yelling all the while, and running around…
Asking those people whether they’re following us.
Heck, I really need a list too…
Haiz…
Anyway, when we got all of them up,
Pn. Lim is not there yet.
OMG!
But lucikly at the end she arrived. XD
And I got scolded by her when we arrived the stadium...
Yet, I felt happy.
Because I get to sit with that fella.
Back to back…
Listening to the whispers…
Feeling the pressence…
Mwahahahaha~~~
But some certain light bulb is sitting between us.
A stranger, total stranger, that is.
And the HECK?!?!?!
Kou, what’s with the Tsumugi actions?!?!
Shut that up!
Cut it out!!!
ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
But it seemed that that fella didn’t mind,
Although Kou get some yellings from that fella,
About his “Tsumugi actions”.
Mwahahahahaha~~~
抵死！！！
All the time in Bon Odori,
I was helding that fella’s hand.
But at first, that fella asked:
“Aren’t we a lil’ fast?”
“No? Friends did that too you know?”
“Oh ya… I did that to my friends too…”
Then why you care about helding hands with me?
Of course, I didn’t ask.
Ah, and Kou is doing his “Tsumugi actions” again.
We were about to move away thanks to him, again.
Grrrr…
Damn you Kou!!!
Then, we were running around,
And there’s one time our hands are away from each other.
But when I took back, somehow (I kinda forgot how I did it),
I locked fingers on the hands of that fella.
Yet, I felt that it’s weird,
Or rather, I’m afraid that that fella felt weird,
So I changed back into “normal friends hold hands”.
All the while, we rushed around and buy foods,
And bought a lot of ices.
Damn, I will never buy ices again!
It made me cough until I got sore throat again TwT
Grrr…
Anyway, it’s still a great experience for me.
Heheheh~
Feels like dating, somehow…
Maa, maa,
Iin jyanai?
Datte… Heheheh~
Ki ni shite nai yo ne, ano hito~
Wasshoi? X3
We stumbled into Kou and his nii-chan,
3 times, what the heck?
Are we that damn good luck to meet them =w=
Oh well…
We agreed to join them for eating,
It seemed that Shirly and Sean got a place for us too,
So we decided to meet them there.
Then, while eating, we’re in a big group.
Most of the ones we knew are there,
Like Alfred and the very prasan idiot (I wouldn’t say who…)
And we brought out everything that we bought and eat there.
What we brought?
Hmm… I’m not quite sure…
When we arrive back there,
I remembered that I ate the Yaki Soba (not really nice)…
Got ice kacang (what the, not even a Japanese food)…
Got a lot of breads… (Err… I’m not the one who brought it)
Got… Soya?
Hmm… Shirly and Sean weren’t eating…
Kou got his lovely unagi…
Then they get a bunch of 4 colored ices while we’re dancing…
Hmm…
Forgotten.
Before I went there, though…
I ate a grapes flavored ice cream (DAMN, IT’S NICE!!!),
I bought an onigiri (Jusco 牌),
A mushroom cheese sausage (Again, it’s DAMN NICE),
Soft Shell Crab Temaki (Mwahahahaha~ Finally I get to eat that!)…
And…
Hmm…
Don’t really remember…
But most of them are REALLY good.
Seriously.
It’s such a good day,
And that fella dragged me to go dancing in the center.
Complimented that I danced quite good too?
Yeah, I think so.
Anyway, we had lots of fun during the whole Bon Odori.
Until…
When we’re going back to the school.
Damn, there’s still people haven’t come up yet.
The 3 form 1 kids…
Geh, Yuki went down and search for them.
We waited for long, and found out that Yuki’s phone is IN THE BUS.
WHAT THE HECK?!?!
>w<
We changed the bus too,
Thanks to the bus A uncle said that he got second round.
Grrr…
So I grabbed my stuffs and her stuffs,
And went for the second bus.
I quickly rushed out and see whether she had came back for the phone,
But no.
Haiz.
I decided to rush to the stadium with Alfred and KKW.
I’m so worried about Yuki.
What if she suddenly fall down in the middle of the road?
GRAAAAAHHHHH!!!
I don’t want to think about it.
The two of them along with me is talking to me,
And suddenly the parent of one student called me,
And suddenly Amaya called me too,
They just barged me with questions and stuffs.
Then I just freaked out.
Shouting at them, shouting at my every words.
Too many things happened at once.
I can do nothing but shout to shut them up.
But the thing that freaked me out the most is…
I can talk very calmly towards the parent back.
Wow…
How did I do that?
I’m not sure…
Hmm…
Weird…
Anyway, after shouting, I went to the stadium.
And met Yuki along the way.
I told her where are the other 3.
And she just yelled.
Of course, not as kua cheong as mine.
I just hope that the 3 that witnessed my shouts won’t freaked out…
Haha.
We found the three, and quickly hurry back the bus.
And that time’s about 10 already.
Grrr…
But on the bus, we still had some funs.
Heheh~
Well, nothing much happened after that.
Though they’re still fun.
Especially all the times with that fella.
Heheh~
I just have so much fun.
Even when I arrived back home,
When Shirly is bathing (she stayed in my house for 2 days),
I called and talked so long with that fella.
Heheheh~
I just wished that I have another chance going out again…
With that fella…
Hmm…
Dekirukana…?
でも、
絶対忘れない。。。
この幸せの時間。。。
うん！
あたしと大好きの人と一緒の時間。
OHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH~~~
SINGING COMPETITION BANZAI~~~~~~
BON ODORI BANZAI~~~~~~
MWAHAHAHAHA~~~~~~
18 July, will be one of my best day ever…
If it wasn’t because of the business before going to Bon Odori,
And returning to the school…
It is really, really, my best day EVER!!!!!!
What happened that day?
Okay, in the morning, it’s the singing competition.
Alex sang better than usual that day,
Except for the last part.
But it’s okay, at least most of the pitching is good.
Then… The happiest thing ever…
BOTH OF MY SOLO AND DUET ENTERED FINAL!!!!!!
MWAHAHAHAHAHA~~~
When Yuki asked, she said, “果然会进了的啦。”
Wow… Sounds like my performance that day really IS good.
Mwahahahaha~
But not good enough.
The first part of my solo wasn’t good enough.
The emotion in the chorus part wasn’t good enough too.
Hmm…
I really need to take some time out to practise kao kao…
Especially the duet song…
Haiz.
Alex~ Can you make it or not!? XO
After the competition, it’s the class photo session.
Heck, I don’t really like these kind of stuffs…
Whatever la.
I take 2 or 3 photo then ciao liao.
I really don’t feel like taking anymore…
Going back to home with Shirly,
We quickly change and prepare for…
BON ODORI!!!
But it wasn’t as fun as I thought…
Because I’m the organizer for the bus =w=
I need to ensure everyone is on then we baru can go.
So… Well… Haiz…
Oh well.
Rin didn’t manage to go that day,
And I can’t even call her phone.
Geh…
Me, Yuki, and Amaya were busying around…
Ticking names, taking down their phone numbers…
Blah blah blah…
I was yelling all the while, and running around…
Asking those people whether they’re following us.
Heck, I really need a list too…
Haiz…
Anyway, when we got all of them up,
Pn. Lim is not there yet.
OMG!
But lucikly at the end she arrived. XD
And I got scolded by her when we arrived the stadium...
Yet, I felt happy.
Because I get to sit with that fella.
Back to back…
Listening to the whispers…
Feeling the pressence…
Mwahahahaha~~~
But some certain light bulb is sitting between us.
A stranger, total stranger, that is.
And the HECK?!?!?!
Kou, what’s with the Tsumugi actions?!?!
Shut that up!
Cut it out!!!
ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
But it seemed that that fella didn’t mind,
Although Kou get some yellings from that fella,
About his “Tsumugi actions”.
Mwahahahahaha~~~
抵死！！！
All the time in Bon Odori,
I was helding that fella’s hand.
But at first, that fella asked:
“Aren’t we a lil’ fast?”
“No? Friends did that too you know?”
“Oh ya… I did that to my friends too…”
Then why you care about helding hands with me?
Of course, I didn’t ask.
Ah, and Kou is doing his “Tsumugi actions” again.
We were about to move away thanks to him, again.
Grrrr…
Damn you Kou!!!
Then, we were running around,
And there’s one time our hands are away from each other.
But when I took back, somehow (I kinda forgot how I did it),
I locked fingers on the hands of that fella.
Yet, I felt that it’s weird,
Or rather, I’m afraid that that fella felt weird,
So I changed back into “normal friends hold hands”.
All the while, we rushed around and buy foods,
And bought a lot of ices.
Damn, I will never buy ices again!
It made me cough until I got sore throat again TwT
Grrr…
Anyway, it’s still a great experience for me.
Heheheh~
Feels like dating, somehow…
Maa, maa,
Iin jyanai?
Datte… Heheheh~
Ki ni shite nai yo ne, ano hito~
Wasshoi? X3
We stumbled into Kou and his nii-chan,
3 times, what the heck?
Are we that damn good luck to meet them =w=
Oh well…
We agreed to join them for eating,
It seemed that Shirly and Sean got a place for us too,
So we decided to meet them there.
Then, while eating, we’re in a big group.
Most of the ones we knew are there,
Like Alfred and the very prasan idiot (I wouldn’t say who…)
And we brought out everything that we bought and eat there.
What we brought?
Hmm… I’m not quite sure…
When we arrive back there,
I remembered that I ate the Yaki Soba (not really nice)…
Got ice kacang (what the, not even a Japanese food)…
Got a lot of breads… (Err… I’m not the one who brought it)
Got… Soya?
Hmm… Shirly and Sean weren’t eating…
Kou got his lovely unagi…
Then they get a bunch of 4 colored ices while we’re dancing…
Hmm…
Forgotten.
Before I went there, though…
I ate a grapes flavored ice cream (DAMN, IT’S NICE!!!),
I bought an onigiri (Jusco 牌),
A mushroom cheese sausage (Again, it’s DAMN NICE),
Soft Shell Crab Temaki (Mwahahahaha~ Finally I get to eat that!)…
And…
Hmm…
Don’t really remember…
But most of them are REALLY good.
Seriously.
It’s such a good day,
And that fella dragged me to go dancing in the center.
Complimented that I danced quite good too?
Yeah, I think so.
Anyway, we had lots of fun during the whole Bon Odori.
Until…
When we’re going back to the school.
Damn, there’s still people haven’t come up yet.
The 3 form 1 kids…
Geh, Yuki went down and search for them.
We waited for long, and found out that Yuki’s phone is IN THE BUS.
WHAT THE HECK?!?!
>w<
We changed the bus too,
Thanks to the bus A uncle said that he got second round.
Grrr…
So I grabbed my stuffs and her stuffs,
And went for the second bus.
I quickly rushed out and see whether she had came back for the phone,
But no.
Haiz.
I decided to rush to the stadium with Alfred and KKW.
I’m so worried about Yuki.
What if she suddenly fall down in the middle of the road?
GRAAAAAHHHHH!!!
I don’t want to think about it.
The two of them along with me is talking to me,
And suddenly the parent of one student called me,
And suddenly Amaya called me too,
They just barged me with questions and stuffs.
Then I just freaked out.
Shouting at them, shouting at my every words.
Too many things happened at once.
I can do nothing but shout to shut them up.
But the thing that freaked me out the most is…
I can talk very calmly towards the parent back.
Wow…
How did I do that?
I’m not sure…
Hmm…
Weird…
Anyway, after shouting, I went to the stadium.
And met Yuki along the way.
I told her where are the other 3.
And she just yelled.
Of course, not as kua cheong as mine.
I just hope that the 3 that witnessed my shouts won’t freaked out…
Haha.
We found the three, and quickly hurry back the bus.
And that time’s about 10 already.
Grrr…
But on the bus, we still had some funs.
Heheh~
Well, nothing much happened after that.
Though they’re still fun.
Especially all the times with that fella.
Heheh~
I just have so much fun.
Even when I arrived back home,
When Shirly is bathing (she stayed in my house for 2 days),
I called and talked so long with that fella.
Heheheh~
I just wished that I have another chance going out again…
With that fella…
Hmm…
Dekirukana…?
でも、
絶対忘れない。。。
この幸せの時間。。。
うん！
あたしと大好きの人と一緒の時間。
Sunday, July 12, 2009
:: ドキドキしちゃう Aries Part 10 ::
Insert: Colors of the Heart [Girl's Version] (Blood+ OP, pitch tuned)
“我们，已不是普通的朋友了吧。”
是呢。。。
已不是普通的朋友了呢。。。
那。。。
是什么关系呢？
是恋人吗？
还是比朋友更好而已呢？
朋友之上，恋人未满？
Hmm...
不是很清楚呢。。。
但是。。。
喜欢-
不对。
爱你的心情是不会改变的。
就算你说你很难搞。。。
就算你说我会很辛苦。。。
我不后悔。
但是，我很心疼。。。
你想了这么久的计划，
竟然在一瞬间就被他们搞砸了。。。
我不甘心，我不爽！
什么人都好，就是不准他们如此的说!
（应该说，我不爽那个馬鹿のぎんつき这样说！！！
他算什么啊！！！
什么都没想，只会出张嘴！！！ ＝w=)
看到你如此的模样，
虽然你说无所偎，
装出一个不是很在意的模样，
但我知道，你很难过。
然后我更是难过，心疼。
在CC的时候更加不用说。
你忽然抱住你的双耳，
低了头，说了一些我似懂非懂的话。
我很紧张，但我真的不知要做什么。。。
只能看着你痛苦的样子，
我有更加得心疼。。。
虽然我知道你有病，
但我没想过是如此的严重。。。
嗯，算是严重。。。吧？
看起来就很让人担心的那种。
你在生气的时候，一直说：
“我很想打人，很想骂人！”
我把我的手伸了出来，说：
“哪。要打要骂随你吧。”
“不要酱无聊。”
你答了，把我的手臂按了下去。
但是，你知道吗。。。
我宁愿无聊，我真得很不想你把事情都闷在心里。
心理上的受伤是绝对是比身体上受来的伤更加的辛苦。
而我，正在受着的绝对不是身体上的伤，
而是心理上的伤。
嘛。。。
看到人家的痛苦而心疼一定是心理上的痛苦吧。。。
所以是心理上的伤。
对，没错。
一定是这样。
一路从学校走了出来，
我们都在说着，
然后便说到了你好跟我讲了很多这些事。
我苦笑了一下。
“反正都没有你对你以前的朋友酱多啦。”
怎知你说：
“没有，我只对你讲罢了。”
舍！
嗯。。。
我应该高兴吗?
“你要怎样prasan的想也好啦。”
唔。。。
听你酱讲。。。
有点纳闷了。。。
嘿嘿。。。
然后，在吃东西时，
不知说到了什么，我们扯回了刚才的事。
之后，我有对你说：
“如果是你的话，我无所谓。”
对。
如果是你想要打我，骂我，
发泄一下心理的感情的话，
我无所谓。
我愿意。
至少，我不会看着你每次都是闷着的。。。
我很不爽。
可能你会觉得我有点神经，
但是我是真心的。
我是真心想要你快乐。
应该说，只要你快乐，我也会快乐呢。
嘻嘻。。。
每次听到你的笑声，总会觉得好辛福哦。
因为你是笑着的，而不是闷着的。
说实话，你笑着真的比你闷着的时候更好看。
嗯！
って言うか。。。
馬鹿見たいな、あたし。。。
へへ～
でも、本とに嬉しいだよ～
あんたの笑顔を見て時。。。
へへ～
だから。。。
不要再憋在心理了。。。
有什么就说出来，发泄一下也好。。。
总之，你就不要跟我摆一个忧闷的脸吧！
心里真得很不爽。。。
不对，正确来讲，应该是。。。
心。疼。到。要。死。了。> w <
我会一直陪伴在你的身边，
所以，有什么事都可以和我说。
我一定会支持你。
你可以对我任性，
把你的最真实的一面显示出来，
无论是丑陋的，还是美丽的，
我都会接受下来。
所以就。。。
酱啦？
哈哈。。。
当然，我只是说说而已。
没有要逼你的吼。。。
你要怎样你随意啦。
嗯。就酱。
“我们，已不是普通的朋友了吧。”
是呢。。。
已不是普通的朋友了呢。。。
那。。。
是什么关系呢？
是恋人吗？
还是比朋友更好而已呢？
朋友之上，恋人未满？
Hmm...
不是很清楚呢。。。
但是。。。
喜欢-
不对。
爱你的心情是不会改变的。
就算你说你很难搞。。。
就算你说我会很辛苦。。。
我不后悔。
但是，我很心疼。。。
你想了这么久的计划，
竟然在一瞬间就被他们搞砸了。。。
我不甘心，我不爽！
什么人都好，就是不准他们如此的说!
（应该说，我不爽那个馬鹿のぎんつき这样说！！！
他算什么啊！！！
什么都没想，只会出张嘴！！！ ＝w=)
看到你如此的模样，
虽然你说无所偎，
装出一个不是很在意的模样，
但我知道，你很难过。
然后我更是难过，心疼。
在CC的时候更加不用说。
你忽然抱住你的双耳，
低了头，说了一些我似懂非懂的话。
我很紧张，但我真的不知要做什么。。。
只能看着你痛苦的样子，
我有更加得心疼。。。
虽然我知道你有病，
但我没想过是如此的严重。。。
嗯，算是严重。。。吧？
看起来就很让人担心的那种。
你在生气的时候，一直说：
“我很想打人，很想骂人！”
我把我的手伸了出来，说：
“哪。要打要骂随你吧。”
“不要酱无聊。”
你答了，把我的手臂按了下去。
但是，你知道吗。。。
我宁愿无聊，我真得很不想你把事情都闷在心里。
心理上的受伤是绝对是比身体上受来的伤更加的辛苦。
而我，正在受着的绝对不是身体上的伤，
而是心理上的伤。
嘛。。。
看到人家的痛苦而心疼一定是心理上的痛苦吧。。。
所以是心理上的伤。
对，没错。
一定是这样。
一路从学校走了出来，
我们都在说着，
然后便说到了你好跟我讲了很多这些事。
我苦笑了一下。
“反正都没有你对你以前的朋友酱多啦。”
怎知你说：
“没有，我只对你讲罢了。”
舍！
嗯。。。
我应该高兴吗?
“你要怎样prasan的想也好啦。”
唔。。。
听你酱讲。。。
有点纳闷了。。。
嘿嘿。。。
然后，在吃东西时，
不知说到了什么，我们扯回了刚才的事。
之后，我有对你说：
“如果是你的话，我无所谓。”
对。
如果是你想要打我，骂我，
发泄一下心理的感情的话，
我无所谓。
我愿意。
至少，我不会看着你每次都是闷着的。。。
我很不爽。
可能你会觉得我有点神经，
但是我是真心的。
我是真心想要你快乐。
应该说，只要你快乐，我也会快乐呢。
嘻嘻。。。
每次听到你的笑声，总会觉得好辛福哦。
因为你是笑着的，而不是闷着的。
说实话，你笑着真的比你闷着的时候更好看。
嗯！
って言うか。。。
馬鹿見たいな、あたし。。。
へへ～
でも、本とに嬉しいだよ～
あんたの笑顔を見て時。。。
へへ～
だから。。。
不要再憋在心理了。。。
有什么就说出来，发泄一下也好。。。
总之，你就不要跟我摆一个忧闷的脸吧！
心里真得很不爽。。。
不对，正确来讲，应该是。。。
心。疼。到。要。死。了。> w <
我会一直陪伴在你的身边，
所以，有什么事都可以和我说。
我一定会支持你。
你可以对我任性，
把你的最真实的一面显示出来，
无论是丑陋的，还是美丽的，
我都会接受下来。
所以就。。。
酱啦？
哈哈。。。
当然，我只是说说而已。
没有要逼你的吼。。。
你要怎样你随意啦。
嗯。就酱。
Thursday, July 9, 2009
:: ドキドキしちゃう Aries Part 9 ::
-July8-
Insert: Watashi no Koi wa HOCCHI-KISU
Right or left?!
Do or die?!
Yes or no?!
GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Nani wo itte ru iin desu ka kore?!?!
Mou!!!!!! KUSO!!!!!!
Gekidou ga tomerarenai yo!!!!!!
Kinchou… Doki doki… Kinchou… Doki doki…
D-D-D-Doushiyou?!?!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
I nearly stumbled and fall.
My pitchings are slightly off.
Fingers just pressing wrong.
What the hell is wrong?!?!
I’m just damn nervous now…
My body just won’t cool down…
Even when I tried to talk,
I’m just speaking nonsense now…
Things just doesn’t go well now…
Everything turned upside down…
Am I happy?
Am I crazy?
I am excited!
I am anxious!
I’m not even sure what I’m writing now!!!
The only thing I’m thinking about is…
You…
At the beginning, the feeling was light…
Before I knew it, my passion grew…
I started to write about you.
I started to think about you.
I started to do things just for you…
Even when I don’t even know why…
Even when I don’t even know how…
I still do it. I still make it.
Forcing myself? I guess I have.
But I would never let you down.
At least not that easily.
Then, I confessed.
Maybe, you would’ve think nothing as much as I do.
Or maybe, you wouldn’t have think so nervously…
And you say maybe we can be together, on conditions.
And I thought right after that.
Of course,
I’ll be glad to accept any (or most) of whatever conditions you asked for.
But in the next moment when I called you, you said you’re just joking.
I acted nothing, and accept it.
But as soon as I hang off the phone, I’ve been forcing myself to sleep.
And I thought that it’ll be just another simple crush or whatsoever…
I’m going to be okay the next day…
But no.
I’m not okay at all.
I’m awake at 4.30.
I started to recall back whatever happened the day before.
And I started to write it down in a piece of paper.
I wrote and wrote a lot.
And my heart sank deeply for every words I wrote.
Everything is about my feelings.
To you, and to myself.
I’ve always been wondering.
Is this feeling just nothing but I pretended to be?
Or I’m seriously deeply hurt because of it?
The previous one, it might be just a false alarm.
But this time, it’s not.
It’s true.
I’m true.
My feelings are true.
And I’m not going to deny it any more longer.
I like you- no.
I think I’m crazily in love with you.
I would care nothing but to be with you.
But at the same time, I’m afraid of you.
Afraid that you might be angry about it.
Afraid that you might be freaked out by my feelings.
So I decided to step backwards for a while.
But it doesn’t take too long for me to start going towards you again.
I can’t stand the days without you by my side.
I can’t stand how you can so freely talk to the others.
I can’t stand… How you can be so happy when you talked to them…
I know I’m a bit… Whimsical…
But I just can’t deny my feelings any more longer.
“Atashi, ima, anata no soba ni itai”
Every words of the lyrics I wrote about you is true.
“Mainichi anata to hanashii hoshii
Mainichi anata ni aitai
Mainichi anata ni koto wo kangaete…”
I really, really do mean it…
“Just because I’m in love with you”
Every words that I wrote.
It’s really a weird thing though.
Since I’m just rereading my blogs just yesterday…
And wondering when’s the next time you’re going to talk to me,
About this…
I’ve counted, and it’s one month.
And yesterday, it’s another one month.
Wow.
Have you calculated the time?
To tell me about this?
I mean…
It’s really been exact one month since I’ve write that down…
In my blog…
And I’ve just wondered about this matter yesterday…
Can I prevent it?
Can I escape the destiny (Ehhhh)?
Because I’m just damn scared to hear the truth from your mouth…
And what on earth…
You answered to my questions deep in my mind…
But the answer is seriously none that I’ve thought of…
“Actually, you can be with me.”
*jerked*
I stumbled and nearly banged to the glass wall beside me.
My brain seized its function for that moment.
I looked at you, and you knew what I’m trying to ask.
“Hai, honki desu.”
But I’m still not believing it.
“Honto ni hyaku % honki na no?!”
Then you said,
“Lie to you got gold to take ah?”
Still. I can’t believe my ears.
Am I dreaming?
Am I in a virtual world?
Am I hovering in the outer space?
Am I in the other imaginary world of this?
Is this… true…?
I’m not that sure what to react.
My words just can’t seem to group together.
Even when I type out for you to see,
My mind is just blank!
I’m not even sure if I’m really in earth now.
Exciting? Not sure.
If you call the heart’s “doki doki” as exciting…
Anxious? Damn yeah.
The heart just won’t stop jumping.
I’m not sure what to say next actually,
And I’m glad but quite angry at the same time when Yagami showed up.
Glad because I can escape for a lil’ while.
Angry because I’m having a great matter here and he spoiled it!!!
After you left, I rushed back to the school then,
And awaits for my dad to pick me up.
I’m so in a hurry to find someone to talk to…
About this damn matter…
Kou!
Yeah, he can help! He can calm me down!
At least I hoped so…
But he’s not there.
Just Neko and Gurei.
GEH?!?!
Oh well…
Should I tell Gurei?
ARGH!!!
My brain is going to explode!!!
I just can’t think of anything now.
I decided to talk to her anyway…
And well, before I can tell her the whole story, my dad came.
Been thinking about this matter over and over again in my mind,
During the journey to the home…
Then I decided to ask you again, whether you’re serious about it…
I don’t want another “I’ve always been joking” thing come up again…
I don’t mind if you’re angry about my questioning,
But at least I could see that you’re serious about it.
Though I’m wondering again…
This time, do you have another condition?
Hmm, I wouldn’t think much of it though.
I’m fairly okay with anything.
Even if you asked me for some… sponsor… >w>
Anyway, I’m home then.
Been thinking about this matter, and don’t feel like eating.
But I’ve been hungry for hours before this,
And I think I really should eat.
Haha, the next moment, I’m glad my decision was correct.
I’m so anxious about this damn thing until my stomach growled.
What the… I know.
But before I do so, I called Kou, and told him.
Me: 他讲我可以跟他在一起。
Kou: What?
Me: 他讲我可以跟他在一起。
Kou: Can’t hear. Louder.
Me: *deep breath*他讲, 我可以跟他在一起。
Kou: *gasp* OH REALLY?!
Me: Yeah! I’m so anxious now!!!
Kou: Wuooh! This is goooood. You make me anxious too…
Me: Etto… Kou… Is this a good news?
Kou: Huh? Yes, it’s a good news!
Me: Is this a good thing for me, or a bad thing for me?
Kou: Ehh, ya! It’s a good thing for you!
Me: Okay. This is a good thing. This is good… This is good…
Me: Hey, you think I should type what I want to say out?
Kou: What, you scare you say wrong?
Me: Yeah! And actually I scare I dunno what to say when I called!!!
Kou: Okay! Okay! Write it down!
Me: Okay! Okay!
Kou: Gambatte!!!
Me: Ganbari masu!!!
Kou: Ganbatte yo!!!
Me: OOOOOH!!!!!!
Heh.
He supported me, and became as anxious as I am.
Wait, why is he anxious?
It’s not his matter anyway!!!
=w= WTF…
Haiz.
Anyway, just hope that he won’t go and be hyper about this…
AND PLEASE DO NOT MAKE FUN OF THIS, KOU!!!!!! >w<
I’m very sensitive about it.
KYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
How can I wrote about something that is…
Not even sure that I’m going to be well!!!
Not even sure that it’s going to be good!!!
Not even sure that this is going to be okay!!!
How can my anxious leads to something so…
Extreme… Like… This…?
Thousand and five hundred words plus plus in total…
I don’t even know why this anxiousity can lead to this…
Am I just afraid of this?
Am I just… quirky?
ARGH!!!!!!
What the hell is wrong with me?!?!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
My fingers just couldn’t stop!!!
UUUUURGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!
This is so going to add into my frustrated list…
Oh great.
Another day cannot do a thing for anything…
Can’t even do my homework.
Wait. Do I ever want to do my homework?
Uhuh…
Okay. I really need to stop now…
Stop now...
Stop now...
Stop.
Insert: Watashi no Koi wa HOCCHI-KISU
Right or left?!
Do or die?!
Yes or no?!
GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Nani wo itte ru iin desu ka kore?!?!
Mou!!!!!! KUSO!!!!!!
Gekidou ga tomerarenai yo!!!!!!
Kinchou… Doki doki… Kinchou… Doki doki…
D-D-D-Doushiyou?!?!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
I nearly stumbled and fall.
My pitchings are slightly off.
Fingers just pressing wrong.
What the hell is wrong?!?!
I’m just damn nervous now…
My body just won’t cool down…
Even when I tried to talk,
I’m just speaking nonsense now…
Things just doesn’t go well now…
Everything turned upside down…
Am I happy?
Am I crazy?
I am excited!
I am anxious!
I’m not even sure what I’m writing now!!!
The only thing I’m thinking about is…
You…
At the beginning, the feeling was light…
Before I knew it, my passion grew…
I started to write about you.
I started to think about you.
I started to do things just for you…
Even when I don’t even know why…
Even when I don’t even know how…
I still do it. I still make it.
Forcing myself? I guess I have.
But I would never let you down.
At least not that easily.
Then, I confessed.
Maybe, you would’ve think nothing as much as I do.
Or maybe, you wouldn’t have think so nervously…
And you say maybe we can be together, on conditions.
And I thought right after that.
Of course,
I’ll be glad to accept any (or most) of whatever conditions you asked for.
But in the next moment when I called you, you said you’re just joking.
I acted nothing, and accept it.
But as soon as I hang off the phone, I’ve been forcing myself to sleep.
And I thought that it’ll be just another simple crush or whatsoever…
I’m going to be okay the next day…
But no.
I’m not okay at all.
I’m awake at 4.30.
I started to recall back whatever happened the day before.
And I started to write it down in a piece of paper.
I wrote and wrote a lot.
And my heart sank deeply for every words I wrote.
Everything is about my feelings.
To you, and to myself.
I’ve always been wondering.
Is this feeling just nothing but I pretended to be?
Or I’m seriously deeply hurt because of it?
The previous one, it might be just a false alarm.
But this time, it’s not.
It’s true.
I’m true.
My feelings are true.
And I’m not going to deny it any more longer.
I like you- no.
I think I’m crazily in love with you.
I would care nothing but to be with you.
But at the same time, I’m afraid of you.
Afraid that you might be angry about it.
Afraid that you might be freaked out by my feelings.
So I decided to step backwards for a while.
But it doesn’t take too long for me to start going towards you again.
I can’t stand the days without you by my side.
I can’t stand how you can so freely talk to the others.
I can’t stand… How you can be so happy when you talked to them…
I know I’m a bit… Whimsical…
But I just can’t deny my feelings any more longer.
“Atashi, ima, anata no soba ni itai”
Every words of the lyrics I wrote about you is true.
“Mainichi anata to hanashii hoshii
Mainichi anata ni aitai
Mainichi anata ni koto wo kangaete…”
I really, really do mean it…
“Just because I’m in love with you”
Every words that I wrote.
It’s really a weird thing though.
Since I’m just rereading my blogs just yesterday…
And wondering when’s the next time you’re going to talk to me,
About this…
I’ve counted, and it’s one month.
And yesterday, it’s another one month.
Wow.
Have you calculated the time?
To tell me about this?
I mean…
It’s really been exact one month since I’ve write that down…
In my blog…
And I’ve just wondered about this matter yesterday…
Can I prevent it?
Can I escape the destiny (Ehhhh)?
Because I’m just damn scared to hear the truth from your mouth…
And what on earth…
You answered to my questions deep in my mind…
But the answer is seriously none that I’ve thought of…
“Actually, you can be with me.”
*jerked*
I stumbled and nearly banged to the glass wall beside me.
My brain seized its function for that moment.
I looked at you, and you knew what I’m trying to ask.
“Hai, honki desu.”
But I’m still not believing it.
“Honto ni hyaku % honki na no?!”
Then you said,
“Lie to you got gold to take ah?”
Still. I can’t believe my ears.
Am I dreaming?
Am I in a virtual world?
Am I hovering in the outer space?
Am I in the other imaginary world of this?
Is this… true…?
I’m not that sure what to react.
My words just can’t seem to group together.
Even when I type out for you to see,
My mind is just blank!
I’m not even sure if I’m really in earth now.
Exciting? Not sure.
If you call the heart’s “doki doki” as exciting…
Anxious? Damn yeah.
The heart just won’t stop jumping.
I’m not sure what to say next actually,
And I’m glad but quite angry at the same time when Yagami showed up.
Glad because I can escape for a lil’ while.
Angry because I’m having a great matter here and he spoiled it!!!
After you left, I rushed back to the school then,
And awaits for my dad to pick me up.
I’m so in a hurry to find someone to talk to…
About this damn matter…
Kou!
Yeah, he can help! He can calm me down!
At least I hoped so…
But he’s not there.
Just Neko and Gurei.
GEH?!?!
Oh well…
Should I tell Gurei?
ARGH!!!
My brain is going to explode!!!
I just can’t think of anything now.
I decided to talk to her anyway…
And well, before I can tell her the whole story, my dad came.
Been thinking about this matter over and over again in my mind,
During the journey to the home…
Then I decided to ask you again, whether you’re serious about it…
I don’t want another “I’ve always been joking” thing come up again…
I don’t mind if you’re angry about my questioning,
But at least I could see that you’re serious about it.
Though I’m wondering again…
This time, do you have another condition?
Hmm, I wouldn’t think much of it though.
I’m fairly okay with anything.
Even if you asked me for some… sponsor… >w>
Anyway, I’m home then.
Been thinking about this matter, and don’t feel like eating.
But I’ve been hungry for hours before this,
And I think I really should eat.
Haha, the next moment, I’m glad my decision was correct.
I’m so anxious about this damn thing until my stomach growled.
What the… I know.
But before I do so, I called Kou, and told him.
Me: 他讲我可以跟他在一起。
Kou: What?
Me: 他讲我可以跟他在一起。
Kou: Can’t hear. Louder.
Me: *deep breath*他讲, 我可以跟他在一起。
Kou: *gasp* OH REALLY?!
Me: Yeah! I’m so anxious now!!!
Kou: Wuooh! This is goooood. You make me anxious too…
Me: Etto… Kou… Is this a good news?
Kou: Huh? Yes, it’s a good news!
Me: Is this a good thing for me, or a bad thing for me?
Kou: Ehh, ya! It’s a good thing for you!
Me: Okay. This is a good thing. This is good… This is good…
Me: Hey, you think I should type what I want to say out?
Kou: What, you scare you say wrong?
Me: Yeah! And actually I scare I dunno what to say when I called!!!
Kou: Okay! Okay! Write it down!
Me: Okay! Okay!
Kou: Gambatte!!!
Me: Ganbari masu!!!
Kou: Ganbatte yo!!!
Me: OOOOOH!!!!!!
Heh.
He supported me, and became as anxious as I am.
Wait, why is he anxious?
It’s not his matter anyway!!!
=w= WTF…
Haiz.
Anyway, just hope that he won’t go and be hyper about this…
AND PLEASE DO NOT MAKE FUN OF THIS, KOU!!!!!! >w<
I’m very sensitive about it.
KYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
How can I wrote about something that is…
Not even sure that I’m going to be well!!!
Not even sure that it’s going to be good!!!
Not even sure that this is going to be okay!!!
How can my anxious leads to something so…
Extreme… Like… This…?
Thousand and five hundred words plus plus in total…
I don’t even know why this anxiousity can lead to this…
Am I just afraid of this?
Am I just… quirky?
ARGH!!!!!!
What the hell is wrong with me?!?!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
My fingers just couldn’t stop!!!
UUUUURGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!
This is so going to add into my frustrated list…
Oh great.
Another day cannot do a thing for anything…
Can’t even do my homework.
Wait. Do I ever want to do my homework?
Uhuh…
Okay. I really need to stop now…
Stop now...
Stop now...
Stop.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
:: ドキドキしちゃう Aries Part 8 ::
“本とに、苦しいですか？”
你是这样问我的。
那时的我，虽然你可能已经知道了，
在装着很忙的样子，
跟你说暂时别烦我，等下再说。
装作什么都不知道。
但是，你的问题，我听得一清二楚。
我也非常明白你在说的事情是什么。
你问的是我所写下的entry里的事情。
你问的是我的心情。
我对着你时的心情。
那我应该回答什么？
”はい、苦しいだ。”
还是： ”いいえ、ただ冗談だよ。”
你会想要听到那一个呢？
真心话？
假面话？
但是，无论如何，我应该都只会说第二个呢。
但也有可能说第一个。
まああ、看情况吧。
虽然我心里已经确定了，
哪个才是我真正的心情。
那最真实的感觉。
想要知道吗？
我想应该不会吧。
你没酱无聊吧。
但是，
说了之后会怎样呢？
会回到以前还没喜欢上你的时候吗？
互相开玩笑，互相讨论各个事情。。。？
还是会像陌生人，见面只说“嗨”吗？
然后各走各路，忽视彼此。。。？
逃避彼此。。。？
我不知道。
但是我真的不想再经历多一次。
这个令人厌恶的情况。
相识的情况。
在两年前已经经过的情况。
然后又需要用到两年的时间才能恢复回从前的情况。
我不知道你有没有看到，我所send给你的sms.
问着你在看谁的blog.
你没回我，你没说什么。
在那天之后的16天，你什么都没说。
好像如平常的和我讲话。
但我发现了，你的变化。
从“你真的很好玩”到“你还是很好玩”。。。
“还是”
这两个字的转变，很明显的显示出了，
你已经看过，然后在想着，到底要如何和我说。
我在等着，每天都在等着。
然后想着，要如何和你说清楚。。。
我，以后将会如何呢。。。？
然后，临走前，你说：
“算了，忘了我所说的话吧”
但是，我没有可能忘了吧。
虽然我假装不知道，虽然我假装不在意。。。
那个问题的严重性，我可是很清楚。
所以，就算我自己想要忘了，也很难。
ああああ。。。
算了，走一步算一步。
而且，你应该不会酱快看到的吧。。。
这个entry。。。
那，至到你看到的时候，
还真希望你不会再提起呢。。。
因为，我还没准备好。。。
要如何回答。。。
要如何结束。。。
要如何。。。
最好是到年尾都不问吧。。。
最好就这样下去好了。。。
什么都不做。。。
什么都没变。。。
就这样平淡的度过这年。。。
でも。。。
あああ。。。
やっぱり心が痛い。。。
その時から、ずっと、痛いじゃ。。。
ずっと。。。
ずっと。。。
この話すには出来なくの気持ち。。。
この心の中に、ずっと有るの気持ち。。。
ずっとあたしを苦しむの気持ち。。。
こんなに、何も言わなくの気持ち。。。
你是这样问我的。
那时的我，虽然你可能已经知道了，
在装着很忙的样子，
跟你说暂时别烦我，等下再说。
装作什么都不知道。
但是，你的问题，我听得一清二楚。
我也非常明白你在说的事情是什么。
你问的是我所写下的entry里的事情。
你问的是我的心情。
我对着你时的心情。
那我应该回答什么？
”はい、苦しいだ。”
还是： ”いいえ、ただ冗談だよ。”
你会想要听到那一个呢？
真心话？
假面话？
但是，无论如何，我应该都只会说第二个呢。
但也有可能说第一个。
まああ、看情况吧。
虽然我心里已经确定了，
哪个才是我真正的心情。
那最真实的感觉。
想要知道吗？
我想应该不会吧。
你没酱无聊吧。
但是，
说了之后会怎样呢？
会回到以前还没喜欢上你的时候吗？
互相开玩笑，互相讨论各个事情。。。？
还是会像陌生人，见面只说“嗨”吗？
然后各走各路，忽视彼此。。。？
逃避彼此。。。？
我不知道。
但是我真的不想再经历多一次。
这个令人厌恶的情况。
相识的情况。
在两年前已经经过的情况。
然后又需要用到两年的时间才能恢复回从前的情况。
我不知道你有没有看到，我所send给你的sms.
问着你在看谁的blog.
你没回我，你没说什么。
在那天之后的16天，你什么都没说。
好像如平常的和我讲话。
但我发现了，你的变化。
从“你真的很好玩”到“你还是很好玩”。。。
“还是”
这两个字的转变，很明显的显示出了，
你已经看过，然后在想着，到底要如何和我说。
我在等着，每天都在等着。
然后想着，要如何和你说清楚。。。
我，以后将会如何呢。。。？
然后，临走前，你说：
“算了，忘了我所说的话吧”
但是，我没有可能忘了吧。
虽然我假装不知道，虽然我假装不在意。。。
那个问题的严重性，我可是很清楚。
所以，就算我自己想要忘了，也很难。
ああああ。。。
算了，走一步算一步。
而且，你应该不会酱快看到的吧。。。
这个entry。。。
那，至到你看到的时候，
还真希望你不会再提起呢。。。
因为，我还没准备好。。。
要如何回答。。。
要如何结束。。。
要如何。。。
最好是到年尾都不问吧。。。
最好就这样下去好了。。。
什么都不做。。。
什么都没变。。。
就这样平淡的度过这年。。。
でも。。。
あああ。。。
やっぱり心が痛い。。。
その時から、ずっと、痛いじゃ。。。
ずっと。。。
ずっと。。。
この話すには出来なくの気持ち。。。
この心の中に、ずっと有るの気持ち。。。
ずっとあたしを苦しむの気持ち。。。
こんなに、何も言わなくの気持ち。。。
Saturday, June 6, 2009
:: 悲しみAries ::
Insert: serenato (by Kalafina)
When you see the title, you might think why I'm sad. Actually, I'm sad not because of myself, but because of my friends.
One of my friend is sad, because of love. Because they actually love each other, but things just happened, and the lover was forced to give up on him, ignoring him, being cold to him. Or perhaps, that's not actually the story. About the lover. But still, looking at my friend wanted to cry everyday, I just can't help but feel sad for him. And thinking of my own case, although is entirely different from his, I too, understand the feel of his.
Unable to touch, unable to see, unable to talk.
The unable to do anything. The uselessness. The emotion. I felt it.
You wanted to cry, but you couldn't. Just like the song from A-Mei, and the lyric:
"我想哭但是哭不出来"
Maybe we should just give up, and cut the thread that bonds us to the one we loved off. Cut it off, and let the wind blew it away.
"把爱剪碎了随风吹响大海"
But yet, we couldn't.
We're yet humans, we're not immortals. We could not just cut it off as if it's only a piece of paper. We could not just cut if off this emotion that tied deeply in our heart. Although it's aching, although it's hurting, but as long as we're still bound to it, we cannot do a thing.
Even if I tried to, make him happy, make myself happy, with anything, we just couldn't be as happy as we're not bounded. A suffering, yes, yet, it's part of the experience everyone must go through.
I do not regret on loving.
One of my friend is sad. I do not know the reason why. But please let me guess. She's sad, because of love too. Although she might looked like she's nothing about it, but from her blog, from the way she acted, she is sad about love. And it's somehow thanks to me she suffered.
Why?
Just because I'm trying to get my hand on winning the bet, and making the guy to kiss her. But I didn't know, at first, that she is have a liking on the guy (note that I'm still guessing here). But the guy, he liked my other friend. He just didn't give up on him, or at least, I do not see him giving up just yet. And he already had a girl friend, just because he couldn't get my other friend.
And yet, I'm trying to get them together. I even traded something just to get the guy to kiss her. And yes, he kept on his promise to me, and kissed her, on the hand. Very random. He just said, "Hey Aries, I can do the bet now," in the CC, and just grabbed my friend's hand, and kissed. That's it. Very random. Very chin-cai. But no one knows what each other's thinking right at the moment he did that.
Maybe he felt relieved, to be able to get out from this mess. From my annoyance.
Maybe she felt hurt and happy at the same time, to be able to get a kiss from him, but knew that it was just a bet.
Maybe I feel happy, and sad at the same time. Happy because I do not lose the bet, sad because I hurt my friend.
I do not know what are we thinking at that moment, it seemed long yet it's just as short. It's just one second, and he left. Just that. She looked happy, yet I know deep in her heart she's hurt. I might look happy, but deep in the heart I'm sorry. For all the things I've done to hurt both of them, if all my guesses above are correct.
I regret on doing it.
So there, I'm sad. About my own stuff, about my own betrayal and mischieve, about my friends. I'm sorry to them, I'm sorry to myself. Sorry because you're hurt, and sorry because I can't control myself.
Sorry, very sorry.
Sincerely sorry.
And, it's a mircale, that we can still be the 3 musketeers, joking around and laughing around. Going through our days like normal. As if nothing happened. As if the above never happened before...
When you see the title, you might think why I'm sad. Actually, I'm sad not because of myself, but because of my friends.
One of my friend is sad, because of love. Because they actually love each other, but things just happened, and the lover was forced to give up on him, ignoring him, being cold to him. Or perhaps, that's not actually the story. About the lover. But still, looking at my friend wanted to cry everyday, I just can't help but feel sad for him. And thinking of my own case, although is entirely different from his, I too, understand the feel of his.
Unable to touch, unable to see, unable to talk.
The unable to do anything. The uselessness. The emotion. I felt it.
You wanted to cry, but you couldn't. Just like the song from A-Mei, and the lyric:
"我想哭但是哭不出来"
Maybe we should just give up, and cut the thread that bonds us to the one we loved off. Cut it off, and let the wind blew it away.
"把爱剪碎了随风吹响大海"
But yet, we couldn't.
We're yet humans, we're not immortals. We could not just cut it off as if it's only a piece of paper. We could not just cut if off this emotion that tied deeply in our heart. Although it's aching, although it's hurting, but as long as we're still bound to it, we cannot do a thing.
Even if I tried to, make him happy, make myself happy, with anything, we just couldn't be as happy as we're not bounded. A suffering, yes, yet, it's part of the experience everyone must go through.
I do not regret on loving.
One of my friend is sad. I do not know the reason why. But please let me guess. She's sad, because of love too. Although she might looked like she's nothing about it, but from her blog, from the way she acted, she is sad about love. And it's somehow thanks to me she suffered.
Why?
Just because I'm trying to get my hand on winning the bet, and making the guy to kiss her. But I didn't know, at first, that she is have a liking on the guy (note that I'm still guessing here). But the guy, he liked my other friend. He just didn't give up on him, or at least, I do not see him giving up just yet. And he already had a girl friend, just because he couldn't get my other friend.
And yet, I'm trying to get them together. I even traded something just to get the guy to kiss her. And yes, he kept on his promise to me, and kissed her, on the hand. Very random. He just said, "Hey Aries, I can do the bet now," in the CC, and just grabbed my friend's hand, and kissed. That's it. Very random. Very chin-cai. But no one knows what each other's thinking right at the moment he did that.
Maybe he felt relieved, to be able to get out from this mess. From my annoyance.
Maybe she felt hurt and happy at the same time, to be able to get a kiss from him, but knew that it was just a bet.
Maybe I feel happy, and sad at the same time. Happy because I do not lose the bet, sad because I hurt my friend.
I do not know what are we thinking at that moment, it seemed long yet it's just as short. It's just one second, and he left. Just that. She looked happy, yet I know deep in her heart she's hurt. I might look happy, but deep in the heart I'm sorry. For all the things I've done to hurt both of them, if all my guesses above are correct.
I regret on doing it.
So there, I'm sad. About my own stuff, about my own betrayal and mischieve, about my friends. I'm sorry to them, I'm sorry to myself. Sorry because you're hurt, and sorry because I can't control myself.
Sorry, very sorry.
Sincerely sorry.
And, it's a mircale, that we can still be the 3 musketeers, joking around and laughing around. Going through our days like normal. As if nothing happened. As if the above never happened before...
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
:: ドキドキしちゃうAries Part 7 ::
18/05/2009
Insert: Yume to Tsuki (by Yuuki Aira)
Geh, people say 7 is lucky number, I think that 7 is the WORST number. I just hate it. Don’t ask why. >w>
まったく。。。
何が言ってるば好いのか？
げっ。。。
七が嫌い。。。
啊。。。
到底应不应该给他看呢？
这个Blog的内容。
如果看了，会怎么呢？
他会怎么想，怎么说。。。
用怎样的表情看我？
用怎样的心情看我？
我又会怎样呢？
会比较好吗？
会比较差吗？
关系又会如何？
会有所进展吗？
还是会有距离？
但是，我已决定了要给他看了，
绝对不能食言呢。。。
忐忑不安。
左右混乱。
心理矛盾得很糟糕。。。
读不了书了呢。。。
哈哈。
又来苦笑了。。。
まったく。。。
算了！
走一步算一步吧！
有什么我是不能应付的呢？
。。。很多东西吧。。。
算了。。。
对自己越来越没信心了。。。
まあ。。。
不会死就好了啦！
ね。。。？
。。。。。。算了吧。
反正我这种人都是没有机会的啦！
想什么鬼？！？！
Geh…
还是呆在自己的幻想里吧。。。
读书读书。。。
明天是Science…
不能Fail!!!
读书读书。。。
Insert: Yume to Tsuki (by Yuuki Aira)
Geh, people say 7 is lucky number, I think that 7 is the WORST number. I just hate it. Don’t ask why. >w>
まったく。。。
何が言ってるば好いのか？
げっ。。。
七が嫌い。。。
啊。。。
到底应不应该给他看呢？
这个Blog的内容。
如果看了，会怎么呢？
他会怎么想，怎么说。。。
用怎样的表情看我？
用怎样的心情看我？
我又会怎样呢？
会比较好吗？
会比较差吗？
关系又会如何？
会有所进展吗？
还是会有距离？
但是，我已决定了要给他看了，
绝对不能食言呢。。。
忐忑不安。
左右混乱。
心理矛盾得很糟糕。。。
读不了书了呢。。。
哈哈。
又来苦笑了。。。
まったく。。。
算了！
走一步算一步吧！
有什么我是不能应付的呢？
。。。很多东西吧。。。
算了。。。
对自己越来越没信心了。。。
まあ。。。
不会死就好了啦！
ね。。。？
。。。。。。算了吧。
反正我这种人都是没有机会的啦！
想什么鬼？！？！
Geh…
还是呆在自己的幻想里吧。。。
读书读书。。。
明天是Science…
不能Fail!!!
读书读书。。。
Friday, May 15, 2009
:: ドキドキしちゃうAries Part 6 ::
完了。终于决定放弃了。
但心理，真得这么想吗？
为何还想要靠近？
为何明知道这样做不会让自己快乐起来，
但还是选择了走下去？
为何明知道和他人在一起，
朋友也好，家人也好，其他阿狗阿猫都好，
都会比和他在一起更好，
还是想要和他在一起？
名知道我是不需要做这些无畏的事，
却还是把它当作自己的事，
拿来烦。。。
就算他说无所谓，我可以不做，
但还是放弃了自己的幸福，
帮他结束他的痛苦。。。
但和他一块儿时，
无论透过电话，还是面对面，
都真的，真的，很快乐。
听到他把心事说给我听，
听到他的笑声，
听到他称赞我，
听到他。。。
心理上的感动，都是无人可给的。
虽然有时他会玩弄我，
虽然有时他会开个玩笑，
但我不介意。
介意的，
是他的不认真，
是他的忽略，
是他的神秘。。。
好希望他能对我多认真一点，
关照多一点，
打开心坎多一点。。。
但我知道是没可能的。
但。。。
我至今还是希望着。。。
呵，是同学，是朋友，
好痛苦哦。。。
就不能再靠近一些，
就不能再密切一些，
就不能再深入一些。。。
哎，异想天开的我，
到底何时才会不要胡思乱想呢？
何时，才能彻底放弃呢。。。？
但心理，真得这么想吗？
为何还想要靠近？
为何明知道这样做不会让自己快乐起来，
但还是选择了走下去？
为何明知道和他人在一起，
朋友也好，家人也好，其他阿狗阿猫都好，
都会比和他在一起更好，
还是想要和他在一起？
名知道我是不需要做这些无畏的事，
却还是把它当作自己的事，
拿来烦。。。
就算他说无所谓，我可以不做，
但还是放弃了自己的幸福，
帮他结束他的痛苦。。。
但和他一块儿时，
无论透过电话，还是面对面，
都真的，真的，很快乐。
听到他把心事说给我听，
听到他的笑声，
听到他称赞我，
听到他。。。
心理上的感动，都是无人可给的。
虽然有时他会玩弄我，
虽然有时他会开个玩笑，
但我不介意。
介意的，
是他的不认真，
是他的忽略，
是他的神秘。。。
好希望他能对我多认真一点，
关照多一点，
打开心坎多一点。。。
但我知道是没可能的。
但。。。
我至今还是希望着。。。
呵，是同学，是朋友，
好痛苦哦。。。
就不能再靠近一些，
就不能再密切一些，
就不能再深入一些。。。
哎，异想天开的我，
到底何时才会不要胡思乱想呢？
何时，才能彻底放弃呢。。。？
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
:: ドキドキしちゃう Aries Part 5 ::
昨日11时才睡，今天4.30就起来了。
第一个想到的事情是，现在是什么时间？
再睡一下吧。
但是在那瞬间，我想起了昨晚所发生的一切。
心中的空虚又回来了。
把一切情感藏在心中的最深处。应该是无人可以去发觉的地方。
包括自己本身。
心中一点情感都没有，仿佛失去了，忘了。
但是，越去想它，反而喉咙越难受。仿佛有个东西一直卡在哪儿。
哈。
想不到我在脑中和心中挣扎那么久的事情，
想要的答案，那么容易就被秒杀了。
然后，那一瞬间，我的心停止了，把所有的情感封锁了。
直到今天，去挖掘它的时候，才一点，一点，出现。
但是，真的是这样吗？我能够确定这不是我“想出来”的吗？
我不知道。但是，如果我真的是“做出来”的，我因该不会那么辛苦吧。
真可笑。竟然不明白自己的感觉是真是假。
但如果是假的，那时候的激动又如何解释？对他的关心又是为何？
难道真的是我错了吗？一直以来都只把他当好友对待？
如果真的是这样，那为何我的心会痛？
在他那“不是认真的”一句话之下？
而且。。。
这样真的好吗？还是就真的照着他的方式：“试一下”？
哈，又在苦笑了。真不明白，在这种时刻笑起来是多么的痛苦。
喉咙更加难受。连要喝一口水也难以下口。
我，到底怎么了？
不明白。我很不明白。难道就如四叶所说的，我只是把他当作好友？
呵，我苦笑。是么？真的是那样吗？
那，解释一下我昨晚想逼自己入睡，不要多想的情况，又是为何？
叹气。为何叹气？苦闷。为何苦闷？
又叹了一口气。
我越来越不明白自己了。。。
想故事的时候，把角色的每一个细节想好。
就连他们在感伤的画面时，把它演出来的我，
竟然能够如此地进入状况，心痛，哭了。
那现在的我呢？又在扮演哪一个角色呢？别人，还是自己？
哈哈，真好笑。连自己何时是真，何时是假，也搞不清了。
到底何时的我是真的呢？还是我一直都在扮演着另一个角色？
那，哪个又是真的我呢？
还是，一直都没有这个人的存在？
哈，不知道。但至少我喜欢音乐的事是真的。
啊，确认了。我的心真的是痛了。
哈，还是音乐让我明白自己呢。呵。
但。。。不会更痛苦吗？
叹气。
音乐还真是一个可以带我上天堂，推我下地狱的东西呢。
就和他一样。
唉。。。我看还有一段很长的时间是要忍受的了。
这个苦闷的感受。
这时候的我，已经完全清醒了。
起了身，下了去，准备吃东西。
一把食物塞入口中，咬了几下，才发现自己吞不下去。
胸口非常地苦闷。心，隐隐作痛着。
但是不行，我一定要吃下去，无论多么的痛苦。
但，还真的是痛苦呢。
一口一口把食物强硬的嚼了，吞下。
不只是喉咙，连胸口也是非常的难受，辛苦。
呵呵，又苦笑了。
就算是听着开心的音乐，也会不由自主地想到了那歌词背后，
所隐藏的意思，隐藏着的悲伤。
"Fukuzatsu sugiru, anata no yasashisa..."
这首歌，无论你如何去听，它都是有着一个非常欢乐的调。
钢琴和吉他调皮地弹着，音乐是多么的轻和。
但有谁会去注意到，它第一句的意思就是
“太复杂了，你的温柔。。。”
这已足够表现出那首歌背后的不明白以及暧昧，
友情与爱情之间的混乱。
和我的情况差不多。
再次叹气。我好像每隔5分钟就会想起他，想起那件事。
真是令我烦恼不已。
唉，还真的希望世上真的有“忘却草”这样的东西呢。
但偏偏就没有。
呵，有点明白为何有些人会想去自杀了。因为这样就可以忘了所有的事。
其实，我也有想过呢，但我不会这样做。
第一，怕痛。
第二，我没有这么无聊。
第三，我不想酱快死。
哈哈，又笑了。但是表面虽然笑着，内心却刺痛着。
我还真会演戏呢。然后，变得越来越不像自己。
越来越不清楚自己。
面对家人，面对朋友，面对他。。。
连面对我自己也要带一副面具了。
真是可笑的自己。
可悲吗？不确定。看人们都如何看自己吧。
但我觉得，应该没有人会同情这样的我吧。
就连自己的真假也分不清的人。
呵，又再次的苦笑。笑着我自己。
笑着这个最虚伪的自己。
不过，我很虚伪吗？我一直都很正直，不是吗？
有什么就说什么，不是吗？
但是，我也有隐藏一些关于我的事实呢，不是吗？
叹气。
到了学校，真的以面具对待每个人了。
用着太累作为借口，偶尔与他们欢笑着， 一起癫着。
和平时的我差不多。
但，有谁真的发觉到，我和平时的不同？
应该，没有人吧。除非我说了出来。
哈。也还好没人那么敏感。
否则，我还真的破功了。
我如平时的那个样子，写下了这个东西。
但我不怎么明白，为何要写下来。
是要给别人看吗？还是给自己看？
看看自己有多么的愚蠢，
还是只纯粹要发泄呢？
叹气。
我只知道，我真的喜欢他。
看到他和其他人在一起，心又疼痛了起来。
看到他忽略了我，心更加地紧缩了。
听到他说“不在意”，“不认真”的那些话，
心，马上停止了。
好痛苦。
上课到现在，手不停的写着，心中的情感不停地涌上。
根本没心上课，虽然勉强听得见，写到功课，但心思都放在这儿了。
就因为一句“其实，你是有机会的”，心飘上了天堂。
但也因为一句“我不是认真的”，心，沉下了地狱。。。
第一个想到的事情是，现在是什么时间？
再睡一下吧。
但是在那瞬间，我想起了昨晚所发生的一切。
心中的空虚又回来了。
把一切情感藏在心中的最深处。应该是无人可以去发觉的地方。
包括自己本身。
心中一点情感都没有，仿佛失去了，忘了。
但是，越去想它，反而喉咙越难受。仿佛有个东西一直卡在哪儿。
哈。
想不到我在脑中和心中挣扎那么久的事情，
想要的答案，那么容易就被秒杀了。
然后，那一瞬间，我的心停止了，把所有的情感封锁了。
直到今天，去挖掘它的时候，才一点，一点，出现。
但是，真的是这样吗？我能够确定这不是我“想出来”的吗？
我不知道。但是，如果我真的是“做出来”的，我因该不会那么辛苦吧。
真可笑。竟然不明白自己的感觉是真是假。
但如果是假的，那时候的激动又如何解释？对他的关心又是为何？
难道真的是我错了吗？一直以来都只把他当好友对待？
如果真的是这样，那为何我的心会痛？
在他那“不是认真的”一句话之下？
而且。。。
这样真的好吗？还是就真的照着他的方式：“试一下”？
哈，又在苦笑了。真不明白，在这种时刻笑起来是多么的痛苦。
喉咙更加难受。连要喝一口水也难以下口。
我，到底怎么了？
不明白。我很不明白。难道就如四叶所说的，我只是把他当作好友？
呵，我苦笑。是么？真的是那样吗？
那，解释一下我昨晚想逼自己入睡，不要多想的情况，又是为何？
叹气。为何叹气？苦闷。为何苦闷？
又叹了一口气。
我越来越不明白自己了。。。
想故事的时候，把角色的每一个细节想好。
就连他们在感伤的画面时，把它演出来的我，
竟然能够如此地进入状况，心痛，哭了。
那现在的我呢？又在扮演哪一个角色呢？别人，还是自己？
哈哈，真好笑。连自己何时是真，何时是假，也搞不清了。
到底何时的我是真的呢？还是我一直都在扮演着另一个角色？
那，哪个又是真的我呢？
还是，一直都没有这个人的存在？
哈，不知道。但至少我喜欢音乐的事是真的。
啊，确认了。我的心真的是痛了。
哈，还是音乐让我明白自己呢。呵。
但。。。不会更痛苦吗？
叹气。
音乐还真是一个可以带我上天堂，推我下地狱的东西呢。
就和他一样。
唉。。。我看还有一段很长的时间是要忍受的了。
这个苦闷的感受。
这时候的我，已经完全清醒了。
起了身，下了去，准备吃东西。
一把食物塞入口中，咬了几下，才发现自己吞不下去。
胸口非常地苦闷。心，隐隐作痛着。
但是不行，我一定要吃下去，无论多么的痛苦。
但，还真的是痛苦呢。
一口一口把食物强硬的嚼了，吞下。
不只是喉咙，连胸口也是非常的难受，辛苦。
呵呵，又苦笑了。
就算是听着开心的音乐，也会不由自主地想到了那歌词背后，
所隐藏的意思，隐藏着的悲伤。
"Fukuzatsu sugiru, anata no yasashisa..."
这首歌，无论你如何去听，它都是有着一个非常欢乐的调。
钢琴和吉他调皮地弹着，音乐是多么的轻和。
但有谁会去注意到，它第一句的意思就是
“太复杂了，你的温柔。。。”
这已足够表现出那首歌背后的不明白以及暧昧，
友情与爱情之间的混乱。
和我的情况差不多。
再次叹气。我好像每隔5分钟就会想起他，想起那件事。
真是令我烦恼不已。
唉，还真的希望世上真的有“忘却草”这样的东西呢。
但偏偏就没有。
呵，有点明白为何有些人会想去自杀了。因为这样就可以忘了所有的事。
其实，我也有想过呢，但我不会这样做。
第一，怕痛。
第二，我没有这么无聊。
第三，我不想酱快死。
哈哈，又笑了。但是表面虽然笑着，内心却刺痛着。
我还真会演戏呢。然后，变得越来越不像自己。
越来越不清楚自己。
面对家人，面对朋友，面对他。。。
连面对我自己也要带一副面具了。
真是可笑的自己。
可悲吗？不确定。看人们都如何看自己吧。
但我觉得，应该没有人会同情这样的我吧。
就连自己的真假也分不清的人。
呵，又再次的苦笑。笑着我自己。
笑着这个最虚伪的自己。
不过，我很虚伪吗？我一直都很正直，不是吗？
有什么就说什么，不是吗？
但是，我也有隐藏一些关于我的事实呢，不是吗？
叹气。
到了学校，真的以面具对待每个人了。
用着太累作为借口，偶尔与他们欢笑着， 一起癫着。
和平时的我差不多。
但，有谁真的发觉到，我和平时的不同？
应该，没有人吧。除非我说了出来。
哈。也还好没人那么敏感。
否则，我还真的破功了。
我如平时的那个样子，写下了这个东西。
但我不怎么明白，为何要写下来。
是要给别人看吗？还是给自己看？
看看自己有多么的愚蠢，
还是只纯粹要发泄呢？
叹气。
我只知道，我真的喜欢他。
看到他和其他人在一起，心又疼痛了起来。
看到他忽略了我，心更加地紧缩了。
听到他说“不在意”，“不认真”的那些话，
心，马上停止了。
好痛苦。
上课到现在，手不停的写着，心中的情感不停地涌上。
根本没心上课，虽然勉强听得见，写到功课，但心思都放在这儿了。
就因为一句“其实，你是有机会的”，心飘上了天堂。
但也因为一句“我不是认真的”，心，沉下了地狱。。。
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
:: ドキドキしちゃう Aries Part 4 ::
Insert: Anata ga Ita Mori (Fate/Stay Night ED 1, by Jyukai)
。。。何だよあの奴？！？！ くそ！！！！！！！
甚麼...“それは其の時から。。。”って！！！何あれ？！
Haiz... Again. Blurred.
でも、良かった。。。嫌いでは無い。。。Haha...
でも、もし不剛。。。then... Straight *cut*... Haiz...
ずるいだよ。。。まったく。。。あの奴。。。
まあ。。。ちょっと頑張りなさいね、零！
貴方ならばできる！ って。。。
まああ。。。良いか？
でも。。。何か変。。。だって。。。
占有欲强。。。
Haha... 应该要control一下我自己了。。。哈哈。。。
Cannot always say "I love you" to anyone anymore...
Even for just for one day of love > w < (Lol, I love you, today only X3)
まあ。。。ちょっと我慢して。。。
Until finally accept me...
Oh, and the song per entry!!! I recommend... ANATA GA ITA MORI!!!!!! The BEST song in Fate/Stay Night, followed by Hikari, in my opinion. But of course, both are nice. Just that Anata ga Ita Mori have karaoke version X3
(Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edbb8tegHJs)
Oh, and let me comment of the song. The starting of the piano is soft, tranquil like, then the vocal comes in. The vocal from soft, became louder and louder. Then, the violin and the drums comes in, though the drums are soft. Then the chorus, all instruments went in together, although still you can still feel the tranquil inside it, with sadness of the love.
The second part had more emotion. The instruments are more EMO now, along with the tone of Jyukai. The instrumental breakdown is by the electric guitar, totally describe out the emotion of the song: sadness, unable to meet with the lover, wish to be with you, etc. After the break is the bridge part, where all the instruments became quiet, only then the instruments join back in.
The instruments gets louder before the final chorus, and the emotions flowing out. Then the final phrase, the best part, the most emotional part, before the violins became the main melody of the song, repeating the emotions of the whole song. It ends with soft play on piano, ending the sadness of the song.
Plus the lyrics and translation of the song!!! (I'm so generous today...)
fukai fukai mori no naka honoka kaoru itoshii
hibi no omokage sagashitemireba fui ni anata ga warau
furete mitakute te o nobashitemo hakanaku chuu o matta no desu
anata ni aitakute zutto aitakute zutto omou
nemurenu yoru o watari
anata ga nokoshita hikari to kage no naka ni tsutsumarete naiteiru
dame na atashi o kogashi shizumu yuuhi to
hadashi no mama ai no zangai o funde nijinda aka
furete miyou to te o kazashitara anata no koe ga shita no
aishiteru ima sara todokanu uta wa kaze ni saraware
haruka kiete iitta yo
suna dokei sora takaku tobashite mitemo nani mo
ano hi no ne wa hibikazu
nido to wa sawarenai keshiki tachi ga
sara sara nagaredashite
kesenai fuesugita kuuki kasanesugita kioku to sono te mo sono kami mo
anata ga nokoshita hikari to kage wa amari ni mo ookisugiru no deshita
fukai fukai mori no naka de
===
And the translation!!! (I'm so damn generous today...)
Within the deep, deep forest there is a faint fragrance, it’s lovely
If I search through the everyday faces, surprisingly, I find that yours is smiling
I want to touch it, but even if I reach out my hand to you, fleetingly, you soared towards the sky
I’ve always wanted to see you,always wanted to see you… That’s how I feel
When I pass through sleepness nights
I’m enveloped within the light and shadow you left behind, and I start crying
The setting evening sun burns a useless me
While barefoot, I tread on the wreckages of love and stain them red
When I try to touch you and I hold out my hand, your voice said
“I love you.” Even now after so long, the song which I failed to convey to you is carried off by the wind
And it disappeared far away
Even if I fly as high as the hourglass sky, there is nothing. The sound of that day is echoing
The sceneries which cannot be touched twice are
Rustling and flowing
“Inerasable.” The air is rising too much and the memories are over-piling. Even those hands, even that hair
The abundant light and shadow you left behind were too large.
Within the deep, deep forest...
。。。何だよあの奴？！？！ くそ！！！！！！！
甚麼...“それは其の時から。。。”って！！！何あれ？！
Haiz... Again. Blurred.
でも、良かった。。。嫌いでは無い。。。Haha...
でも、もし不剛。。。then... Straight *cut*... Haiz...
ずるいだよ。。。まったく。。。あの奴。。。
まあ。。。ちょっと頑張りなさいね、零！
貴方ならばできる！ って。。。
まああ。。。良いか？
でも。。。何か変。。。だって。。。
占有欲强。。。
Haha... 应该要control一下我自己了。。。哈哈。。。
Cannot always say "I love you" to anyone anymore...
Even for just for one day of love > w < (Lol, I love you, today only X3)
まあ。。。ちょっと我慢して。。。
Until finally accept me...
Oh, and the song per entry!!! I recommend... ANATA GA ITA MORI!!!!!! The BEST song in Fate/Stay Night, followed by Hikari, in my opinion. But of course, both are nice. Just that Anata ga Ita Mori have karaoke version X3
(Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edbb8tegHJs)
Oh, and let me comment of the song. The starting of the piano is soft, tranquil like, then the vocal comes in. The vocal from soft, became louder and louder. Then, the violin and the drums comes in, though the drums are soft. Then the chorus, all instruments went in together, although still you can still feel the tranquil inside it, with sadness of the love.
The second part had more emotion. The instruments are more EMO now, along with the tone of Jyukai. The instrumental breakdown is by the electric guitar, totally describe out the emotion of the song: sadness, unable to meet with the lover, wish to be with you, etc. After the break is the bridge part, where all the instruments became quiet, only then the instruments join back in.
The instruments gets louder before the final chorus, and the emotions flowing out. Then the final phrase, the best part, the most emotional part, before the violins became the main melody of the song, repeating the emotions of the whole song. It ends with soft play on piano, ending the sadness of the song.
Plus the lyrics and translation of the song!!! (I'm so generous today...)
fukai fukai mori no naka honoka kaoru itoshii
hibi no omokage sagashitemireba fui ni anata ga warau
furete mitakute te o nobashitemo hakanaku chuu o matta no desu
anata ni aitakute zutto aitakute zutto omou
nemurenu yoru o watari
anata ga nokoshita hikari to kage no naka ni tsutsumarete naiteiru
dame na atashi o kogashi shizumu yuuhi to
hadashi no mama ai no zangai o funde nijinda aka
furete miyou to te o kazashitara anata no koe ga shita no
aishiteru ima sara todokanu uta wa kaze ni saraware
haruka kiete iitta yo
suna dokei sora takaku tobashite mitemo nani mo
ano hi no ne wa hibikazu
nido to wa sawarenai keshiki tachi ga
sara sara nagaredashite
kesenai fuesugita kuuki kasanesugita kioku to sono te mo sono kami mo
anata ga nokoshita hikari to kage wa amari ni mo ookisugiru no deshita
fukai fukai mori no naka de
===
And the translation!!! (I'm so damn generous today...)
Within the deep, deep forest there is a faint fragrance, it’s lovely
If I search through the everyday faces, surprisingly, I find that yours is smiling
I want to touch it, but even if I reach out my hand to you, fleetingly, you soared towards the sky
I’ve always wanted to see you,always wanted to see you… That’s how I feel
When I pass through sleepness nights
I’m enveloped within the light and shadow you left behind, and I start crying
The setting evening sun burns a useless me
While barefoot, I tread on the wreckages of love and stain them red
When I try to touch you and I hold out my hand, your voice said
“I love you.” Even now after so long, the song which I failed to convey to you is carried off by the wind
And it disappeared far away
Even if I fly as high as the hourglass sky, there is nothing. The sound of that day is echoing
The sceneries which cannot be touched twice are
Rustling and flowing
“Inerasable.” The air is rising too much and the memories are over-piling. Even those hands, even that hair
The abundant light and shadow you left behind were too large.
Within the deep, deep forest...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
:: ドキドキしちゃうAries Part 3 ::
Haiz... So confused... Too much happened...
Or maybe it's too few, that's why...?
What is your feeling to me? I'm so blur, I'm so confused.
Why would you keep that kind of letter?
Was it just because it's 面白い？
ただそれだけ？
I don't dare to ask. I'm too afraid.
I have asked the tarot cards yesterday, but I just don't seem to understand.
It said that we could be together.
But... I'm doubting it.
Not because it's tarots, but it's because of our current relationship. Where ever you see it, how ever you see it, from whatever angle you see it, we're just friends.
Best friends.
There's nothing more than that.
So I'm doubting, but hoping at the same time.
Can we really be together?
And I question myself:
Can I overcome this matter?
Would you tell me how do you feel to me?
Or why wouldn't you tell me?
Because you're not sure?
Because you don't dare?
Or...
Because it's interesting?
Is that all?
Is that what is all about me?
Is that why you're treating me like this?
Haiz... 困ったんだ。何故あたし、貴方が好きなの？解らない。だって。。。
好きだから好き。理由が有りません。
でも、今、本とに苦しいだ。這奇怪的關系。又不算曖昧又超密切的關係。
你到底把我當成甚麼?
只是朋友？只是一個共同興趣的朋友？
只是一個你覺得很面白い的朋友？
還是...
你自己也覺得很亂？
分不清楚這個關係, 這個感覺？
我不明白。
不是我不想明白。
而是我不敢去明白。
害怕對這問題的誤解
害怕我們的關係會破滅
害怕我心中的辯解
害怕...
一切的一切。
當然,我還真的不希望你會看到這個entry.
那麼, 為何又寫出來？
Haha... 我不明白。發洩吧...
只有那樣嗎？
還是我在希望甚麼？
我不敢說......
Oh well... I'll put these weird things aside for a while... Should I?
Or maybe it's too few, that's why...?
What is your feeling to me? I'm so blur, I'm so confused.
Why would you keep that kind of letter?
Was it just because it's 面白い？
ただそれだけ？
I don't dare to ask. I'm too afraid.
I have asked the tarot cards yesterday, but I just don't seem to understand.
It said that we could be together.
But... I'm doubting it.
Not because it's tarots, but it's because of our current relationship. Where ever you see it, how ever you see it, from whatever angle you see it, we're just friends.
Best friends.
There's nothing more than that.
So I'm doubting, but hoping at the same time.
Can we really be together?
And I question myself:
Can I overcome this matter?
Would you tell me how do you feel to me?
Or why wouldn't you tell me?
Because you're not sure?
Because you don't dare?
Or...
Because it's interesting?
Is that all?
Is that what is all about me?
Is that why you're treating me like this?
Haiz... 困ったんだ。何故あたし、貴方が好きなの？解らない。だって。。。
好きだから好き。理由が有りません。
でも、今、本とに苦しいだ。這奇怪的關系。又不算曖昧又超密切的關係。
你到底把我當成甚麼?
只是朋友？只是一個共同興趣的朋友？
只是一個你覺得很面白い的朋友？
還是...
你自己也覺得很亂？
分不清楚這個關係, 這個感覺？
我不明白。
不是我不想明白。
而是我不敢去明白。
害怕對這問題的誤解
害怕我們的關係會破滅
害怕我心中的辯解
害怕...
一切的一切。
當然,我還真的不希望你會看到這個entry.
那麼, 為何又寫出來？
Haha... 我不明白。發洩吧...
只有那樣嗎？
還是我在希望甚麼？
我不敢說......
Oh well... I'll put these weird things aside for a while... Should I?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
:: ドキドキしちゃう Aries Part 2 ::
まったく。。。あたしわ、本とに、大変悪いです。。。
どうして？
だって、ずっと、この大変の物を考えるです。。。
何が？
あの人の髪に触る欲しい。。。
あの人の膚に触る欲しい。。。
でも。。。
あの人、嫌いかも知らない。。。
あの人、どんなのリアクションもう、知らない。。。
だから、あの人わ、“何もI Don’t Care” 見たい。。。
だから、あの人わ、誰も好いで見たい。。。
だから。。。
だから。。。
怖い。。。
あたしわ、本とに、怖かった。。。
あたしわ、本とに、卑怯です。
でも。。。
この感情。。。
この欲望。。。
ああああ～
いったい、どんなに止まれた好いのか？
この欲望。。。
毎日、毎日に。。。
少しい、少しいに。。。
溢れてる。。。
ああああ～
如何すればいいの。。。？
自分に殺せば好いの？
其れとも。。。
消えても好いの。。。？
でも、誰？
ああああ～
駄目、考えません～
くそ。
嫌いだ、この感情。。。
でも、好きだ、この人。。。
たとえ、あの人わ、あたしに大好きの感情わ無い；
たとえ、あの人わ、あたしに嫌いで；
あたし、まだ、あの人の事を、好きだった。。。
くそ。
ああああ～
如何すれば好い～？
如何しよう。。。
くそ。。。
自分に嫌いだ！！！
何故こんなに馬鹿なの？！
何もでき無い！！
何も言えて無い！！！
何も。。。！
何も。
何も。。。
くそ。
本とに、くそ。
凄く、くそ。
まったく、くそ。
ああああ。。。
誰が、教えてくれ。。。
誰が、助けて。。。
あたし、もうすぐ、死にちゃった。。。
> 青い色
Genre: Slow Pop
Tone: EMO
Theme: Unrequited love
Instruments: Piano, Electric Guitar, Drum
Vocal: Me
青い色 憂鬱な色
貴方の色 涙の色
誰が知ってる
あたしの気持ち
こんなに苦しい
貴方の髪に触りたい
貴方の体抱きしめたい
しかし 若し貴方嫌い
じゃあたし死にで欲しい
苦しい この感情止めたい
愛しい 貴方が大好き
青い色 憂鬱な色
貴方の色 涙の色
誰が知ってる
あたしの気持ち
こんなに苦しい
貴方の膚に触りたい
貴方の唇キスが欲しい
どうして恋人じゃない？
こんなに近くなのに
苦しい この欲望が止めたい
愛しい 貴方が欲しい
青い色 優しい色
貴方の色 嫌いな色
どうしてあたしこんなに
貴方が愛して
だけど貴方気持ちわ無い
何故あたしこんなに馬鹿で
何故あたしこんなに卑怯で
誰があたしに教えて
如何すればいいの？
青い色 憂鬱な色
貴方の色 涙の色
誰が知ってる
あたしの気持ち
こんなに苦しい
青い色 優しい色
貴方の色 嫌いな色
どうしてあたしこんなに
貴方が愛して
だけど貴方気持ちわ無い
どうして？
だって、ずっと、この大変の物を考えるです。。。
何が？
あの人の髪に触る欲しい。。。
あの人の膚に触る欲しい。。。
でも。。。
あの人、嫌いかも知らない。。。
あの人、どんなのリアクションもう、知らない。。。
だから、あの人わ、“何もI Don’t Care” 見たい。。。
だから、あの人わ、誰も好いで見たい。。。
だから。。。
だから。。。
怖い。。。
あたしわ、本とに、怖かった。。。
あたしわ、本とに、卑怯です。
でも。。。
この感情。。。
この欲望。。。
ああああ～
いったい、どんなに止まれた好いのか？
この欲望。。。
毎日、毎日に。。。
少しい、少しいに。。。
溢れてる。。。
ああああ～
如何すればいいの。。。？
自分に殺せば好いの？
其れとも。。。
消えても好いの。。。？
でも、誰？
ああああ～
駄目、考えません～
くそ。
嫌いだ、この感情。。。
でも、好きだ、この人。。。
たとえ、あの人わ、あたしに大好きの感情わ無い；
たとえ、あの人わ、あたしに嫌いで；
あたし、まだ、あの人の事を、好きだった。。。
くそ。
ああああ～
如何すれば好い～？
如何しよう。。。
くそ。。。
自分に嫌いだ！！！
何故こんなに馬鹿なの？！
何もでき無い！！
何も言えて無い！！！
何も。。。！
何も。
何も。。。
くそ。
本とに、くそ。
凄く、くそ。
まったく、くそ。
ああああ。。。
誰が、教えてくれ。。。
誰が、助けて。。。
あたし、もうすぐ、死にちゃった。。。
> 青い色
Genre: Slow Pop
Tone: EMO
Theme: Unrequited love
Instruments: Piano, Electric Guitar, Drum
Vocal: Me
青い色 憂鬱な色
貴方の色 涙の色
誰が知ってる
あたしの気持ち
こんなに苦しい
貴方の髪に触りたい
貴方の体抱きしめたい
しかし 若し貴方嫌い
じゃあたし死にで欲しい
苦しい この感情止めたい
愛しい 貴方が大好き
青い色 憂鬱な色
貴方の色 涙の色
誰が知ってる
あたしの気持ち
こんなに苦しい
貴方の膚に触りたい
貴方の唇キスが欲しい
どうして恋人じゃない？
こんなに近くなのに
苦しい この欲望が止めたい
愛しい 貴方が欲しい
青い色 優しい色
貴方の色 嫌いな色
どうしてあたしこんなに
貴方が愛して
だけど貴方気持ちわ無い
何故あたしこんなに馬鹿で
何故あたしこんなに卑怯で
誰があたしに教えて
如何すればいいの？
青い色 憂鬱な色
貴方の色 涙の色
誰が知ってる
あたしの気持ち
こんなに苦しい
青い色 優しい色
貴方の色 嫌いな色
どうしてあたしこんなに
貴方が愛して
だけど貴方気持ちわ無い
Monday, April 13, 2009
:: 嬉しいAries ::
Phew… Luckily I get my pendrive back… The files inside it is still intact. The Buddha “Pendant” is still there. Only the cover is missing. Oh well, it had been missing for quite a while, and it’s still usable, so I guess the cover is MEANT to be missing after all… X3
Anyway, I’m still happy even without the cover, scoldings from my stupid family, and my sore throat… Because at least 雨音is really a godly song for me!!! Wow… Can’t believe how good can this song turn out… I can even imagine the MV in my mind already… Especially the bridge part!!! That’s the best part of the song, where all instruments went so loud, the best climax ever in my songs!!! Although… I’m not going to sing this song, but 光… Haiz… How much I wished to snatch the song from him… But no, the song is his feeling. Haiz… I can’t steal other people’s feeling, right? Well, at least his blog really give me a lot of inspiration to this song. Haha… not.
Oh, and actually, I have another thing to be happy about... あたし、大好きな人の手に摑まった。本とに嬉しいです～ って、じゃない。Haiz... I'm still scared about the whole thing... Oh well... At least, まだ友達です。それだけもう好いです。。。
。。。かな。。。？
本とに大変ですわね、あたし。。。
ま、いいか？
Oh well, at least today is Sushi day!!! We went to CC at first, to wait for Yucchan (Yuki) to come down. So when we finished, we go back, found out that Yotsuba wants to go with us too. Okay, we go. We waited for a DAMN taxi for almost 20 minutes!!!! What the... But it's fun la. Well, we sang random songs and such. It's all about “Onaka ga suita~ Deshita deshita deshita desu~”. Haha... I know we're damned boring about it. X3
So, we arrive there, and Kou called his dad. But then, his dad couldn't come to take his phone back. Haiz... Anyway, we rushed to Sushi King and took a queue. We took a number and walked around. Well, we only managed to visit one book store (the expensive one) thanks to KOU-KUN who went disappeared from going to the toilet. So Yuki and I were like joking around, whether Kou-KUN gets XXOOX by someone already... X3 We spent 10 minutes to find this Kou.
Me: Kou-kun~ Kou-kun~ Kou-kun~ *from top floor door*
Yuki: You calling dog ah?
Me: Yalah~ Kou-kun~ *the below floor* Hey, there's a toilet. *called inside the boy's toilet* Kou-kun~ *no answer, went to the girl's toilet* Kou-kun~
All: *LOL'ed*
Kou: *outside the girl's toilet already* ….......................................
Lolz~ That's such fun~ X3 Then, since there's not much time left, we went to sushi king. Then, we ate up. Wow... The kid behind Yuki really bugs everyone. Haiz... So, I decided to change place with her, since she complained so much... Anyway, we ate for 40 minutes, then the waitress came and tell us that we only have left 5 minutes. What the-
Oh well, they still need business, right?
So we left, and we straight went to Multimedia class. Damn that stupid teacher, she's still teaching us that stupid film stuff, which I CAN ALREADY DID IT IN LESS THAN 5 MINUTES AFTER MASTERING EVERYTHING!!!!!! Bleach, eat our money... Well, during the waiting for the stupid teacher to continue teaching, I, Kou, and Yuki started a conversation... (As stated as in the entry below...) And obviously, that conversation lead to somewhere else... X3
Ma, ii ka? Don't mind~
At least, I really had much fun~ today don't even have much teachers in the class, just that stupid moral teacher... Ish! I HATE her. Anyway, at least she's funny today. Though still some how annoying...
And we are just busying cleaning the class during the periods before recess.
Hurray for no class~~~
Oh yeah, グレイ told me about her stuff today... And the tarots... Damn, it's so TRUE!!! Kuso... I wanted to try out on Carnival Day, but I didn't... Damn her for not calling me to go... Yeesh~
Anyway, she told me about her and X-Mask and Joker. Well, she, at first, liked Joker, and was like couple with him. But the point is, he don't like her. Then, she tell me about the god stuff. What, the god wants her to be with X-men or something... Blah blah blah... Well, I'll tell you all later. I need to log out now.
Jya~
PS: I present, AME OTO~ The godlike song!!!
> 雨音
Genre: Slow Pop
Tone: EMO
Theme: Reminiscing love?
Instruments: Piano, Violin, Drums
Vocal: 光
毎度君に思いで時
君の写真に見てた
君を見ているに涙が流れる
I miss you 君に会いたい
君に抱きしめたい絶対離せない
I miss you
君の声、君の目、君の全て
君の側にいたい、僕と一緒に
絶対離れないどんな苦しい
愛してる、今から君に抱きしめたい
愛して愛してる
永遠にI Love You
まだ雨が降っている
数日間が家に支えてる
まだの外を見てた雨以外の物を見えない
Where are you 言葉がいっぱい
“御免”と“愛してる”絶対話してる
Where are you
僕の事、僕の声、まだ知っているかな?
僕わ後悔しった、君に拒絶してた
もしチャンスが有る、時をも度にしたい
でも今時間わとっても遅れた
この愚かの僕を
赦してくれるI'm Sorry
窓のグラスに中る
雨の滴
何が見てるように
あれわ Tears 涙
僕わ後悔しった、君に拒絶してた
もしチャンスが有る、時をも度にしたい
でも今時間わとっても遅れた
この愚かの僕を
赦してくれるI'm Sorry
君の側にいたい、僕と一緒に
絶対離れないどんな苦しい
愛してる、今から君に抱きしめたい
愛して愛してる
永遠にI Love You
大好きな君に 何処に有る？ I Want You
(君わ、今、何処いるの？
僕の声、まだ知っているの？)
Anyway, I’m still happy even without the cover, scoldings from my stupid family, and my sore throat… Because at least 雨音is really a godly song for me!!! Wow… Can’t believe how good can this song turn out… I can even imagine the MV in my mind already… Especially the bridge part!!! That’s the best part of the song, where all instruments went so loud, the best climax ever in my songs!!! Although… I’m not going to sing this song, but 光… Haiz… How much I wished to snatch the song from him… But no, the song is his feeling. Haiz… I can’t steal other people’s feeling, right? Well, at least his blog really give me a lot of inspiration to this song. Haha… not.
Oh, and actually, I have another thing to be happy about... あたし、大好きな人の手に摑まった。本とに嬉しいです～ って、じゃない。Haiz... I'm still scared about the whole thing... Oh well... At least, まだ友達です。それだけもう好いです。。。
。。。かな。。。？
本とに大変ですわね、あたし。。。
ま、いいか？
Oh well, at least today is Sushi day!!! We went to CC at first, to wait for Yucchan (Yuki) to come down. So when we finished, we go back, found out that Yotsuba wants to go with us too. Okay, we go. We waited for a DAMN taxi for almost 20 minutes!!!! What the... But it's fun la. Well, we sang random songs and such. It's all about “Onaka ga suita~ Deshita deshita deshita desu~”. Haha... I know we're damned boring about it. X3
So, we arrive there, and Kou called his dad. But then, his dad couldn't come to take his phone back. Haiz... Anyway, we rushed to Sushi King and took a queue. We took a number and walked around. Well, we only managed to visit one book store (the expensive one) thanks to KOU-KUN who went disappeared from going to the toilet. So Yuki and I were like joking around, whether Kou-KUN gets XXOOX by someone already... X3 We spent 10 minutes to find this Kou.
Me: Kou-kun~ Kou-kun~ Kou-kun~ *from top floor door*
Yuki: You calling dog ah?
Me: Yalah~ Kou-kun~ *the below floor* Hey, there's a toilet. *called inside the boy's toilet* Kou-kun~ *no answer, went to the girl's toilet* Kou-kun~
All: *LOL'ed*
Kou: *outside the girl's toilet already* ….......................................
Lolz~ That's such fun~ X3 Then, since there's not much time left, we went to sushi king. Then, we ate up. Wow... The kid behind Yuki really bugs everyone. Haiz... So, I decided to change place with her, since she complained so much... Anyway, we ate for 40 minutes, then the waitress came and tell us that we only have left 5 minutes. What the-
Oh well, they still need business, right?
So we left, and we straight went to Multimedia class. Damn that stupid teacher, she's still teaching us that stupid film stuff, which I CAN ALREADY DID IT IN LESS THAN 5 MINUTES AFTER MASTERING EVERYTHING!!!!!! Bleach, eat our money... Well, during the waiting for the stupid teacher to continue teaching, I, Kou, and Yuki started a conversation... (As stated as in the entry below...) And obviously, that conversation lead to somewhere else... X3
Ma, ii ka? Don't mind~
At least, I really had much fun~ today don't even have much teachers in the class, just that stupid moral teacher... Ish! I HATE her. Anyway, at least she's funny today. Though still some how annoying...
And we are just busying cleaning the class during the periods before recess.
Hurray for no class~~~
Oh yeah, グレイ told me about her stuff today... And the tarots... Damn, it's so TRUE!!! Kuso... I wanted to try out on Carnival Day, but I didn't... Damn her for not calling me to go... Yeesh~
Anyway, she told me about her and X-Mask and Joker. Well, she, at first, liked Joker, and was like couple with him. But the point is, he don't like her. Then, she tell me about the god stuff. What, the god wants her to be with X-men or something... Blah blah blah... Well, I'll tell you all later. I need to log out now.
Jya~
PS: I present, AME OTO~ The godlike song!!!
> 雨音
Genre: Slow Pop
Tone: EMO
Theme: Reminiscing love?
Instruments: Piano, Violin, Drums
Vocal: 光
毎度君に思いで時
君の写真に見てた
君を見ているに涙が流れる
I miss you 君に会いたい
君に抱きしめたい絶対離せない
I miss you
君の声、君の目、君の全て
君の側にいたい、僕と一緒に
絶対離れないどんな苦しい
愛してる、今から君に抱きしめたい
愛して愛してる
永遠にI Love You
まだ雨が降っている
数日間が家に支えてる
まだの外を見てた雨以外の物を見えない
Where are you 言葉がいっぱい
“御免”と“愛してる”絶対話してる
Where are you
僕の事、僕の声、まだ知っているかな?
僕わ後悔しった、君に拒絶してた
もしチャンスが有る、時をも度にしたい
でも今時間わとっても遅れた
この愚かの僕を
赦してくれるI'm Sorry
窓のグラスに中る
雨の滴
何が見てるように
あれわ Tears 涙
僕わ後悔しった、君に拒絶してた
もしチャンスが有る、時をも度にしたい
でも今時間わとっても遅れた
この愚かの僕を
赦してくれるI'm Sorry
君の側にいたい、僕と一緒に
絶対離れないどんな苦しい
愛してる、今から君に抱きしめたい
愛して愛してる
永遠にI Love You
大好きな君に 何処に有る？ I Want You
(君わ、今、何処いるの？
僕の声、まだ知っているの？)
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